nirvana Posted February 8, 2005 Posted February 8, 2005 Well I've been asking my friends for advice on this one, but I thought these forums might offer something different from a different perspective of the situation. Ok, here's my situation. I met a girl at a party 5 weeks ago, and uhm we got on really really well for the whole evening. She was friends with a few of my friends, so I'd spoken to her a few times before that night. Yeah so we got on really well, (I went through this always knowing she had a boyfriend so it probably wasn't a good idea), about 10 of us from the party (all my college friends who went to the party) went back to my friends house for the night and I ended up sleeping with her on the sofa (No sex just sleep ) Yeh so I spoke to her loads for the next few days and told her I had really strong feelings for her and she said the same back, and that she was really pleased that it turned out that way. Although she was happy, she said she wanted to stay with her boyfriend etc and not ruin it. We carried on going out every weekend for like 4 weeks in a row (Friday and Saturday) and have been having a really good time, we went to another party, and we kissed... so it did actually mean something, unfortunately this was all going on as she had a boyfriend. Yeah so last week she tells me that she's splitting up with her boyfriend, and that she would like to see where it goes with me and her, this left me on a high and it seemed like it was going good for me. So sunday, she splits up with her boyfriend... but a few hours later they have a talk and get back together again. I noticed this like today, and yesterday and I spoke to her today and she says that she doesn't see our relationship going anywhere and that she doesn't want to throw away what she has with her boyfriend despite the fact she says her feelings have changed for him and had told me several times she wanted to split up with him. This, has left me, seriously messed up. If I had been prepared for it, ok, but because she said she was going to split up with him it's left me feeling even more depressed than I would have been.. Now the thing is, I could just give up now and move on. but I see her too much at college and outside of college for me to ever want to give up on her, I like her too much really. So I don't know what to do, do I keep chasing her or back off. If I back off she'll almost certainly think I don't like her anymore (she's got like this from just not talking to her all the time at college) so yeah I know that almost for certain, or do I carry on hanging out with her. Another crap thing is, if I do that, she's going to try to act different around me when shes not with her boyfriend which is not what either of us want so it's going to feel horrible for both of us. Well, there's a lot more I could say but its not going into my head at the moment so I can't type it in here. Any help or advice is hugely appreciated.
Vepo Posted February 8, 2005 Posted February 8, 2005 She sounds like a cock tease to me Nirvana. I know sometimes seeing someone when they are already in a relationship can sometimes work out for some people I just would never have 100% trust in that person. What makes you think she wouldn't see other people while she is with you. My advice would be to move on, ask her if you can both remain friend, but tell her you don't want the hassle of being pulled back and forth.
allina Posted February 8, 2005 Posted February 8, 2005 She probably does like you both, but dosn't like either one enough to really make a decision and stick with it.
Hund1976 Posted February 8, 2005 Posted February 8, 2005 You need to move on for the time being. Tell her you like her but since she's already involved with someone else you're going to back off. Then ignore her for awhile. Maybe she'll break up with her boyfriend and come looking for you then!
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