statwars99 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 So my gf broke up with me back in September after dating for a year. We are both 25 and were long distance for the last few months. It was a good relationship and the break up caught me by surprise. I begged for a week before I decided to go nc. I got texts at thanksgiving and Christmas saying how much she thought about me and I replied with a simple thanks and didn't engage further. She then asked if we could be friends in January. I told her that it isn't possible to be friends and thought that would be the end of it as I wanted to move on and better my life/meet new people. From then on every couple weeks for the past 5 months she has texted me about something random or ask how I was doing. I continually ignored them or gave a one word answer which always ended the conversation. Yesterday she sent a text saying she gets really upset we don't talk anymore. I responded that although it sucks, it's how things should be especially if she is dating someone else. She told me she is with someone but that he knows how special I am to her and how much it means to her that we become friends so he's ok with it. I didn't respond and am not sure I should or will. First, would anyone be ok with their s/o actively seeking a friendship with an ex? And has anyone had an ex who dumped them actively pursue a friendship for months without getting the point that it's not happening? I still have feeling for her but I have no desire to talk and just be friends. I havent gotten I want you back or anything significant other than 'I think about you all the time' and 'you are very special to me.' Thoughts?
luvshaq Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Tell her that you're not together anymore and that was her decision. Tell her you moved on and that she needs to do the same. If you can, try changing your number if that will help.
Natsume21 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 First, would anyone be ok with their s/o actively seeking a friendship with an ex? And has anyone had an ex who dumped them actively pursue a friendship for months without getting the point that it's not happening? I still have feeling for her but I have no desire to talk and just be friends. I havent gotten I want you back or anything significant other than 'I think about you all the time' and 'you are very special to me.' Thoughts? To answer question no. 1: She's not your friend. She's using you to ego boost cause she's feeling guilty. Question no. 2.: I have, and so has most guys on here. And it ended the same: pain, more questions, and lies. You're doing the right thing. Keep ignoring her.
jbelle6 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 1. no, one or both always have feelings. 2. no, I usually ignore until they quit.
David87 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 She doesn't understand, it seems how, a break up works and what's worse is the fact that she doesnt have a clue how much she hurt you thats why she keeps texting you. It's clear she didn't suffer as much as you did after the bu and now she wants to be buddy buddy.....don't accept that now. You can be friends with an ex but after you no longer have feelings for her.
redbaron005 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 I think she is sincere in her statement that you are special to her. I disagree this is an ego boost, or substantial guilt. She probably does miss you, and this usually hits its peek in the 6-8 month period when the honeymoon period of the original relationship, on average, begins to wind down. I would continue maintaining the no friendship boundary. The more she tests this boundary without committing to a relationship retry, the more it is blatant disrespect of you and your wishes. I wouldn't event justify her responses with one word replies anymore, send a clear unadulterated signal that you mean business.
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