Berrytree Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 It was not a stable relatiionship to start with. He dumped me a year ago after a relationship of nine months, leaving me devastated and shattered. He came back two months later wanting a second chance which I, foolishly gave. How could I not. I love him so much or was I just so used to having him by me..he dumped me again nine months later. I dont think I can go through a second heartbreak like this. I am completely shattered.
ayala Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Before considering taking him back at all, he has to prove it to you. Kind of like a trial. Give him several months. He has to *win* you back - at least make him think he has to. Become distant. Involve yourself around other people. Date other people to see what else is out there. Who knows, you might meet someone even better. If not, maybe he'll prove he changed and really just wants to be with you. Or you could just not give him another chance at all. He had two. He blew both. Does he deserve a third? Only you could say. Put yourself first for awhile. Go out with friends and family. If you start thinking about him, remember that it frees you to find someone better. You're no longer tied to an unstable relationship. You can go out looking for a more stable one that's better for you. This is my experience with my boyfriend: He didn't know if he loved me anymore so he broke up with me and I let him go. It broke my heart as I never doubted or stopped loving him for a second. Then a few months later, he came back, wanting me to take him back. I told him why I was conflicted and I told him that he needed to change. He needed to prove to me that he wants to be with me because he loves me and not because he's lonely. He had to give me his word. He knows this is his last chance and if he screws up, he's gone. I'll always love him and I'll always want him. But the difference is that I'm not gonna let him walk over me. I'm not gonna be there just to be a "convenience" for him to be in a relationship just so "he's" not lonely. I know it's hard. No one said relationships are easy. They're ups and downs, good and bad, and it's hard to think of the one you love with someone else. But you need to think of you. Only you know what's best for you. You just need to find the reasoning yourself, within yourself. You're your own person. You deserve happiness too. You need to be able to take care of yourself first and foremost. Get into a new hobby, start volunteering, do something that's irrelevant to what you had with your ex. Get out into the world and show it that you're in charge of your life and you're in charge of who you let into your life. You can't choose who your heart chooses, but you can choose who your brain needs. Regardless how much you love a person, you have to be happy. You can't let people walk over you. You need to be strong. A good relationship will do nothing less than build you up. It will not break you. 1
FredJones80 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 This is my experience with my boyfriend: He didn't know if he loved me anymore so he broke up with me and I let him go. It broke my heart as I never doubted or stopped loving him for a second. Then a few months later, he came back, wanting me to take him back. I told him why I was conflicted and I told him that he needed to change. He needed to prove to me that he wants to be with me because he loves me and not because he's lonely. He had to give me his word. Don't leave us hanging, what happened ?
ayala Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Don't leave us hanging, what happened ? He had no direction before but now he does. Basically he showed me that he wanted to change because he wanted us to work out this time. Before, we were too dependent on each other but now we're more independent. It's actually a lot better than before now that we have a goal for ourselves. Both of us think we're better when we're together and even his family agrees that he's better off with me lol 1
johnpatric Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Nothing to say about this, but i would like to suggest you one think just forget about the past and just focus on your present life and think about your future.. if you think about your past you just get hurt so its better to forget that things as a bad dream and start new life...
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