Gr4veyard Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 I would be gladly taking some advice on my situation... I was in a long distance relationship with this person for about 9 months. He was my first love. We were both 19 at the time. To cut the long story short, he fell out love with me while I was still in love with him. He ended our relationship with saying to me that "maybe you are just meant to be forever alone because you are like that" over skype. This broke my heart and hurt me so much, since I do have some problems with expressing myself verbally, being shy and "not talking enough". Still, he said that he didnt want to stop talking with me completely so we decided to say as friends. This was about 3 months ago. So we did keep messaging eachother for about two weeks after that. I was trying to keep conversations going by sending lots of long msgs, while he was being really polite, distant and answered to my msgs as shortly as possible... Which ended me up with getting even more hurt, feeling really miserable and crying myself to sleep every night. Finally I could stop torturing myself and not send any more msgs to him. Now its been about 2 months I have had any contact with him. I still miss him, but I understand that there is no chance that we are getting back together. We are still friends on facebook. I havent checked his page ever since (I guess Im too scared to look at his pics and to find out that he has moved on). I am worried about that someday I will probably check his page and hurt myself again... I also have had the urge to add new pics about myself going out and having fun with friends (thats what I've been doing to keep my mind out of him), to make him notice how much fun I am having without him. That is immature and so unlike me. And even though I want him to see them, I am worried about him stalking me. Every time when I post something on fb, I wonder if he will see it or not, and it also is limiting the things I post there. I wouldnt want him to find out if I had a new boyfriend for instance. Should I delete him or just try to leave it be and ignore him? Could the deleting help the process of getting over him? :/ And should I send something to explain him the deleting, like, "I can't be friends with you right now in order to get over you, maybe later" ? I am kind of hoping that we could still be friends after I've gotten over him. We were good friends for a long time before our relationship. Though I am not sure if I could ever be friends again with someone who hurt me that deeply. Any thoughts? This was my first a bit more serious relationship and I feel like a child with these kinds of things...
Kansas87 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Block him. You're 19? That is WAY too young to even BEGIN down the "I'm going to be alone forever" spiral. Good grief. I'm pissed off at this guy FOR you. What a terrible thing to say!!! Block him right now. YES it will ABSOLUTELY help you get over him. Believe me. Post whatever pictures you want of you out having fun, but don't do it for him. Block him, delete his messages, and go NC. If he contacts you some other way, ignore it. 5
d0nnivain Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 You can't be friends right after a break up especially if you are the person who wants more. It's just too painful. Delete him from all social media & take him out of your phone. You will spare yourself the additional heartache of seeing him move on. 1
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Without a question - YES! You will never be able to move on until you implement the NC rule and that includes having him as a friend on any of your social media channels. DELETE already and move on. Good luck.
Author Gr4veyard Posted May 14, 2014 Author Posted May 14, 2014 Thank you all for your support. Couldnt do it yet but eventually I will. It feels so hard to do.. I know its just a click away but ugh.
Author Gr4veyard Posted May 15, 2014 Author Posted May 15, 2014 Edit: Deleted him, not sure how I feel... Thanks guys.
SomeHeart Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 If you know that there's 100% chance that you're never going go get back together then I see no point in keeping him on Facebook. Keeping him as friend is just a constant reminder of the person that rejected you and fell out of love with you. Keeping him on Facebook is just a way of keeping him in your life and will therefore only prolong the healing process and will stop you from moving on. Do you really warn to sign on Facebook one day and see that he's in a relationship? Keeping him there is just setting yourself up for more knock backs. 1
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