MrGuy Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 So I have trouble sleeping EVERYDAY. I always end up sleeping around from 4--7am. My girlfriend puts up with this all the time and I'm usually sleeping in the morning on her. It use to bother her a lot but now it's really frustrating her and she's getting mad at me. She even doesn't want to talk to me and tells me to leave her alone. I literally sleep late every day. Does her attitude towards me justify what I do? It's been going on like this for years
Keenly Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 Why would your girlfriend have the authority to decide when you can and can't sleep? Tell her to get over herself. 2
ja123 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 I lived with someone who worked the graveyard shift and had to sleep during the day. This was awful for me, as I had to tip-toe around the house, so as not to wake him, and I couldn't get anything dine. It also made me feel really lonely, in addition to his being cranky and often in a bad mood due to poor sleep habits. It was one of the contributing reasons to our break-up. If you do not want to modify your sleep habits, then this might be a deal breaker for her and she'll walk. I'd say you have a choice to make.
eleve82 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 MrGuy, I'm sorry you have problems sleeping but since you do share a bed with her, its only right that you have to consider your partner as well. Considering she has put with this for years, its not surprising that she has become grumpy and frustrated - lack of sleep does this to anyone. This sleeping arrangement isn't particularly healthy (nor a necessity since its not for a job or anything like that) and I would suggest you try getting help to normalize your sleeping habits.
Keenly Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 MrGuy, I'm sorry you have problems sleeping but since you do share a bed with her, its only right that you have to consider your partner as well. Considering she has put with this for years, its not surprising that she has become grumpy and frustrated - lack of sleep does this to anyone. This sleeping arrangement isn't particularly healthy (nor a necessity since its not for a job or anything like that) and I would suggest you try getting help to normalize your sleeping habits. Why are her sleeping patterns " normal " and his aren't? She is being ridiculous. You don't get to just tell some one to change their lifestyle because it bugs you. Isn't there anyone else that area how controlling this behavior is? Notice how the problem is " he sleeps too late " How exactly does him being asleep at 11 am affect her?
Author MrGuy Posted May 12, 2014 Author Posted May 12, 2014 I understand, we discussed about this so many times before how it bothered her. And I always said I'll try but it never worked b/c i just couldn't sleep early. I then just told her I can't help it and I'm sorry but i don't think ill be sleeping early. Recently though i just got a morning shift job which ill be starting soon and i told her i have to sleep early now though which further made her mad. She replied with "you'll sleep early for that but not for me?"
iris219 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 I'm a morning person and it would annoy me if my SO slept really late all the time. We would miss out on doing things together, and I like being together in the mornings. Also, I prefer to date people with regular daytime jobs. Honestly, I don't see how a relationship even progressed between the two of you. I wouldn't be compatible with a night owl/late sleeper, so I understand where she's coming from.
Treasa Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 I understand, we discussed about this so many times before how it bothered her. And I always said I'll try but it never worked b/c i just couldn't sleep early. I then just told her I can't help it and I'm sorry but i don't think ill be sleeping early. Recently though i just got a morning shift job which ill be starting soon and i told her i have to sleep early now though which further made her mad. She replied with "you'll sleep early for that but not for me?" I was kind of sort of on her side until she got pissy. Who cares why you're doing it? Is she trying to exert control over you or actually have you wake up with her? Sheesh. Does she work in the mornings as well? Tell her to find a different bedroom if she doesn't like your sleeping habits. My fiance and I wake up at different times on the weekends, but I don't wake him unless it's seriously getting late, which is rare. 1
Author MrGuy Posted May 12, 2014 Author Posted May 12, 2014 I wake up around 2 or 3 pm usually, I don't tell her to wake me up. I use to just a few times but very rare now if at all.
Treasa Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 Oh, I thought you slept until 7am. Reading comprehension fail. I can see her being irritated before. However, since you're going to be getting up earlier now, it doesn't matter why you're doing it. The effect is still the same. And if she doesn't like it, she should leave you.
BikerAccnt Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Different sleep schedules can be hell. My ex was a police officer. She was used to the graveyard shift, preferred it actually. Like someone else said, it became a contributing factor in the demise of our relationship. It's hard to remain close to someone, when they aren't available to you. Even if intellectually you understand it, it's hard to live with none the less.
Omei Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Is there more to this story? Do you stay up all night watching movies and playing video games then sleep all day and call it troubles sleeping.....be honest.
Eivuwan Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 The missing part from this story is why you can't sleep early. Is it anxiety? Bad habits? What?
Author MrGuy Posted May 13, 2014 Author Posted May 13, 2014 Oh yea I stay up play video games (she plays video games too though) I watch movies, but when i do try to sleep early i just can't. I lay there doing nothing just trying to fall asleep.
halfcrazed_i Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Have you actually figured out why you can't sleep earlier? I mean, do your sleeping habits also affect your daily routines such as work, etc? I can imagine why she's frustrated and pissy. She probably wants to do stuff with you during the mornings when you're "supposed to be" (I put it in quotes because I know it's not some universal truth) awake... I mean, if you wake up around 2pm everyday, that's half the day gone. And that limits the time you spend with each other, especially if she sleeps way earlier than you. Or maybe she thinks you'd rather play video games than try to sleep earlier. Have you guys talked about that? This conflict between you guys have a big potential to snowball and eventually cause some issues. You guys need to reach some sort of compromise.
TheyCallMeOx Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 You can go to sleep early, but you just enjoy the peace and quiet when playing video games at night that you prefer not to. To me, one of the best things about being in a relationship is falling asleep next to each other, and waking up next to each other. As a female gamer, she understands that sometimes you're just having a really good time online, but if it's habitual...she's going to start thinking that video games are more important than her. If you don't take the initiative, she's going to believe that you don't take the relationship seriously. At some point, she may doubt the relationship's potential. For some people, if they don't have a good morning, they don't have a good day. If she has to tip toe and can't really interact with you during the morning, then she may be thinking about it all day...and it's gonna keep bringing her down until, some point, she's going to kitchen sink you like crazy. She's going to point out all your flaws coming home from work, and maybe even give you an ultimatum. She's gonna say "I play video games too, but you gotta GROW UP!" Sometimes I wouldn't be able to sleep when she'd go to bed, either, but that's why they have books. Books are boring as ****. There's also Nyquil, and I'll overdose on that too. If you play video games during the day but feel you need to play video games at night as well, then that's establishing a dependency. You're addicted, and you gotta calm the **** down on that stuff. 1
Phantom888 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 I lived with a girlfriend who had sleeping issues. She didn't have a job, so she would stay up late every night (till 4am) and sleep through most of the day. I was terribly annoyed, and I broke up with her because of it. I will not put up with incompatible lifestyles in a relationship.
Els Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Have you told her that the reason you're not sleeping is because you have legitimate problems doing so, not because you're staying up just for the heck of it? If you have, then she's being controlling IMO. It's a pretty established fact that people can't just press a button and fall asleep at will (well, most people, that is). That being said (and I'm saying this as someone who suffers from delayed sleep phase syndrome myself), if you're waking up at 3pm everyday then this could pose some problems to you as a couple. You can't ever go out for breakfast or brunch or a day out in the hills, etc. It'd be like being in a R with a vampire, except without the sparkles and Robert Pattinson. How are you going to sleep for your morning shift, though? That might be a much more serious problem to you at this stage.
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