lovesfool Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 Does deleting old emails and text messages help after a breakup? I was thinking about it, but I can't bring myself to do it. We had some great conversations, and looking back at them brings a smile to my face. But then again, it also brings sadness when I realise that he is no longer in my life and we will never have those conversations again. Has anyone here done this? Did it help you to get over your ex or did you eventually regret it later on?
FredJones80 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 Does deleting old emails and text messages help after a breakup? I was thinking about it, but I can't bring myself to do it. We had some great conversations, and looking back at them brings a smile to my face. But then again, it also brings sadness when I realise that he is no longer in my life and we will never have those conversations again. Has anyone here done this? Did it help you to get over your ex or did you eventually regret it later on? It was hard, but I did it. Like you I re-read them over and over and it did me no good. Delete them, quick, just do it, you will regret it initially but it is for the best.
d0nnivain Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 If you can't bring yourself to delete them, at least move them to a flash drive & put the drive away for a while. Revisit the issue after you have healed some more
STM206 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 I had no choice. We were on the same phone plan and I had to get a new phone so all of our messages were deleted initially. In glad they were though, it does no good in re reading them constantly. 1
FortunateSon Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 Delete them all. I deleted all texts, emails(received and sent), blocked her on Facebook, everything. As Fred mentioned, it's not easy to do at first, but it's definitely for the best. 3
HeartinPain Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Delete it. You are self torturing yourself by re-reading them. You will not regret deleting it and it will help you in your path to healing. 1
JDPT Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 yes delete away, delete them all, everything and anything that can remind you remotely of the past. 2
todreaminblue Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 when i was hurt i kept messages to remind me of how a certain really felt...hurtful ignorant messages unfortunately my memory is pretty photographic when i have some from of trauma or stress......its a defense mechanism..........i deleted them and even though i remember them i am not hurt by them any longer.....sent them to god by proxy prayer instead.....god returned a text to my heart saying I luv ya you are an awesome child of mine deb so i am happy now.....and the guy who sent them .....forgave him too he has his own issues..............gods texts rock...smilin....delete those texts you dont need them...... move on and i wish you well......deb
Scorpio Chick Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 I recently did just that. It IS painful, and I'm sorry for how bad you're feeling. I actually did it the very next day after I cut it off with him. Just the text messages, because I'm always using my phone, so they would always be there and a constant reminder. I do still have all the emails, but I don't look at them. It's an emotional band-aid that seems to keep you connected to him, which is not so deep down, what we all want when it ends with someone we had feelings for, but the truth is, we're not connected anymore, or at least for now and the near future. Who knows down the line? But you have to pull that emotional band-aid off quick, just like a real band-aid. I thought I would regret it, but it has no doubt sped up the recovery. I wish you luck, sweetie.
jonsnuh Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Delete them. You'll have enough to deal with in your mind, and being reminded of whatever you had already forgotten will only set you back further. 5-6 years of a relationship gone down the drain by a GIGS ex and I have no regrets throwing and destroying everything that reminded me of her. Unless, of course you are the type of person who would pack them away as a way of saying goodbye, compartmentalizing so you will no longer revisit them now but possibly in the future (who knows when).
somecamel Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Does deleting old emails and text messages help after a breakup? I was thinking about it, but I can't bring myself to do it. We had some great conversations, and looking back at them brings a smile to my face. But then again, it also brings sadness when I realise that he is no longer in my life and we will never have those conversations again. Has anyone here done this? Did it help you to get over your ex or did you eventually regret it later on? I suppose it depends on how often you find yourself re-reading them. I used to go over and over the messages again and again and in the end I had to delete everything, emails, text messages, skype messages, I also deleted her number. It didn't hurt to delete them, I knew I had to do it for my own benefit. 2
learning_slowly Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 You will definitely feel better after a day or so. And what benefit will they do YOU in the future?
Always Pondering Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Now that I'm not blinded by foolishness I am curious to see how dumb I sounded in the last e-mail I sent but other than that I don't really care. Yes, delete everything and it helped me in the process of healing whether it be a little bit or a large amount. Or like donnivain said, put them in a flash drive and store that away if you want but don't touch it. If it's hard for you to delete your messages, delete them all then think about your decision later .
Itspointless Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 I never deleted anything, with nobody, it is part of my history.
NomiMalone Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 I'm keeping the messages. I havent looked at them since he left, but I simply can't bring myself to delete them. 1
greenbee81 Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 I erased everything that reminded me of her. Half my pictures are gone.. time to create new ones 1
Nimbus4dt Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 (edited) I deleted all messages/emails/pictures the lot, everything and anything to do or remind me of her I got rid of, I do have a shirt that she gave me I kept but don't connect it with her, as bought day before I was dumped. So I have nothing at all except what's in my mind to remember me of her. I constantly scour the house and come across small items of hers, hairbands, ashtrays etc etc , even the pot plant went the other day (although did have reservations on this one as it had done no wrong!) I think reading mails etc over and over is not good, the situation will not change and if it stirs up memories/emotions/thoughts then its not beneficial to healing. And at the end of the day I need every chance to start getting over it, triggers are not good and every one needs removing or being dealt with in such a way as to make them no longer a trigger. Edited May 15, 2014 by Nimbus4dt
johnpatric Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Sometime you need to do that stuff, delete messages and Remove memory triggers. There are all kinds of things that remind you of your ex––a song, a smell, a sound, a place. Once the grieving period has had some time to process, don't dwell on painful feelings or memories. There are probably things that are pushing your buttons without your conscious recognition. so it okay to delete those messages if you really want to get over..
Rig88 Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 I found that when my ex and I broke up , the hardest part of the break up was the deleting of old texts and emails. On one hand , it's nice to have that reminder that someone once felt that way for you but on the other hand it's just making the whole break up process more painful. I gave myself a limit of a 3 months after the break up that I was allowed to keep any texts/emails/cards that we'd send each other. I personally felt that after three months apart the break up was permanent.
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