Jam23 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 7 months since the breakup and I feel pretty good most of the time. The times I don't feel good I'm extremely bitter and ready to tear a person's throat out. For the longest time I've told myself that I'm over my ex and the friend I lost to her. But in truth I'm not. I still seek closure, and most of all I hate that I hate them if that makes sense. I wanna let go of the past and I'm not sure how. I tell myself constantly to just go to them, let them know I Forgive them for all the lies and that I hope they can maintain their happiness. But my pride won't let me, not just that but I'm legitimately afraid that her and I seeing each other could trigger something that would reset our feelings for each other. I really don't want that, her and I are poison for one another. So for now I'm waiting for them to approach me and apologize for what they did. And for him to man up and face me and do what he should have done from the start and tell the truth. Honesty was all I ever wanted from me either of them and instead they took advantage of my trust and played me like a fiddle.
FredJones80 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 7 months since the breakup and I feel pretty good most of the time. The times I don't feel good I'm extremely bitter and ready to tear a person's throat out. For the longest time I've told myself that I'm over my ex and the friend I lost to her. But in truth I'm not. I still seek closure, and most of all I hate that I hate them if that makes sense. I wanna let go of the past and I'm not sure how. I tell myself constantly to just go to them, let them know I Forgive them for all the lies and that I hope they can maintain their happiness. But my pride won't let me, not just that but I'm legitimately afraid that her and I seeing each other could trigger something that would reset our feelings for each other. I really don't want that, her and I are poison for one another. So for now I'm waiting for them to approach me and apologize for what they did. And for him to man up and face me and do what he should have done from the start and tell the truth. Honesty was all I ever wanted from me either of them and instead they took advantage of my trust and played me like a fiddle. Forgiveness is over-rated. You can't forgive everyone for everything. If someone did the dirty on you and you don't feel like forgiving them, good, they should feel ashamed, not you. 2
Jewels7 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 Well it is a good thing that you are having mostly good days after 7 months. That bitterness though will stick around for a long time. I unfortunately carried the bitterness of my ex cheating on me into my next relationship (this is the first time I think I've ever admitted that). However, don't wait on an apology. As much as you want one, it will probably never come. Although, I will tell you that that feeling will go away. My ex fiancé and I broke up in 2010 after he cheated on me with numerous people. He never apologized and I don't care anymore that he didn't. The bitterness won't last forever. Now I'm going through a terrible break up and I feel, as you said about your ex, that we are violent for one another. I just think we were in a toxic relationship. I do wish, however, I would have let go of my baggage from my ex fiancé before we got together. Maybe it could have helped things. You will get there though just like I did. I quit waiting on an apology and quit caring if one ever came. You will too one day.
Author Jam23 Posted May 12, 2014 Author Posted May 12, 2014 What makes it worse is some of my friends see and talk to them, in fact one of them pretty much told me let it go cause its in the past. Now can kind of agree with that, but what does it say about me to just pretend two people who stabbed me in the back never did?
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