JZH Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 Been dating a guy for almost a couple of months now. I do really like him, but the problem is that I have no idea how he feels about me. We became exclusive a couple of weeks ago, but it was me who brought up the conversation and he got really awkward talking about it. I posted another thread about him commenting on a woman he knows and saying how great she is and that he finds her attractive. Well I've come to realize that it's not just her he does it about. It seems that at any opportunity he has to tell me another woman he knows / has met is attractive, he will. It doesn't even fit with the conversation sometimes. I don't get why he does it. He's either trying to make me jealous or he's just an ass, either way I find it disrespectful. I feel like I don't want to bring it up because he's not even my bf (and I have no idea if he ever wants to be) and I don't want to look like I get jealous easily. Also, I feel like if he is trying to make me jealous, I don't want to rise to it. It's annoying because I like most other things about him. But this is really starting to put me off him. Considering that I do like most other things about him, should I carry on dating him and see what happens, or do you think he will continue to be disrespectful in this way, and so I should just end it? Thanks
mammasita Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 Um, you need to say something. Why would you not? 1
Author JZH Posted May 12, 2014 Author Posted May 12, 2014 Um, you need to say something. Why would you not? Just don't really know how I'd say it. Also, even if he did stop that, he still doesn't let on much about how he feels about me. Maybe it's normal to feel that way when you first start dating someone? I don't know. I've never had it before though. Just can't decide what to do. Don't want to start to really like someone who doesn't feel the same way.
HappyLove Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 He goes out of his way to tell you how attracted he is to other women and you want to date this guy? Don't you deserve better?
d0nnivain Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 If you are not happy & you don't feel good / valued in your relationship, there isn't much point continuing. I'd mention it. Next time he comments on another woman's looks ask him why he does that? Tell him how it makes you feel & ask if he realized he was hurting you when he does that. It should get him to stop. If it doesn't you need to determine if you want to stay with a guy who willingly & knowingly hurts you.
MissBee Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 If you're in a relationship where you don't know how your SO feels about you and you constantly feel insecure, you need to be able to talk about it or stop. I don't see how one can say they're in a relationship without knowing how the other feels and without being able to discuss one's own feelings.
jay1983 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 He's trying to make you jealous and it seems to be working. He's probably looking for some body language that'll let him know how you feel about him. If you make an uncomfortable face that'll give away your feelings, which is probably what he's looking for.
Author JZH Posted May 12, 2014 Author Posted May 12, 2014 Ok, points taken. Thanks I think I'll see how it goes the next time I see him (Thursday). I am really considering stopping dating him now, which is a shame because I have already developed feelings for him. But that's the reason I can't carry on if I'm insecure due to how he's acting. Guess the new question is that if I see him on Thursday and decide then that I don't want to see him anymore, do I say it to him Thursday while we're face-to-face? I don't even know what I'd say. (I might sound a bit dumb, but I've not got that much experience with this. When I've dated guys for this long before, it's always turned into a relationship).
irresolute Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 Mmm I do think he's been disrespectful and also, dating for a couple months and you still don't know where you are in the relationship? I think this guy is bad news. sorry
Author JZH Posted May 13, 2014 Author Posted May 13, 2014 Mmm ... and also, dating for a couple months and you still don't know where you are in the relationship? I think this guy is bad news. sorry Yeah true. I don't know though, not had that much experience in dating as I've mainly been in long-term relationships. Isn't dating after 2 months still early days in terms of "where you are in the relationship?". Especially considering we've only been able to see each other once or twice per week. Or are people usually pretty sure about whether they want to be in a relationship together by now?
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