STM206 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 At 4 months I still feel anxiety over this whole situation. Is that normal? To simplify my story, this was my first relationship and my first time falling in love. My ex decided to pack up and leave one night in the span of an hour, 2 months later he had already moved across the country to be with his ex. My heart still hurts, I wake up and the mornings are still anxiety filled. When does this end? When does it get to a point where I feel hopeful for meeting someone else one day because I still feel like I want him back and it's pointless to feel that way I know, but I can't help the feeling. I miss us, not just the relationship, but I also miss the fact that I was able to fall asleep so well at night, and wake up feeling decent - now I rely on sleep aids and wake up with that gloom and doom feeling... And find myself having to constantly be moving around and staying as busy as I can. I just want to be able to sit and relax! I'm looking for words of advice, people who have similar stories because I really am feeling alone in all of this. 1
FredJones80 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 ****ting hell STM206, you're supposed to be getting me through this, not me getting you through. If you fall apart, what am I going to do! How selfish :laugh: Keep your chin up. 1
Strength in Healing Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 I miss us, not just the relationship, but I also miss the fact that I was able to fall asleep so well at night, and wake up feeling decent Ah how I can relate, brother. I relate with this so, so strongly... But rest assured (no pun intended), you aren't alone in this. I feel that feeling you just described. I feel the anxiety, the loss, the pain. It's important you accept the painful thoughts and feelings when they come into your mind, so that they may pass. If you try to repress them, it will make things worse. Stay strong brother. You aren't alone. 2
Brutus Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 My heart still hurts, I wake up and the mornings are still anxiety filled. When does this end? When does it get to a point where I feel hopeful for meeting someone else one day because I still feel like I want him back and it's pointless to feel that way I know, but I can't help the feeling. I miss us, not just the relationship, but I also miss the fact that I was able to fall asleep so well at night, and wake up feeling decent - now I rely on sleep aids and wake up with that gloom and doom feeling... And find myself having to constantly be moving around and staying as busy as I can. I just want to be able to sit and relax! No, you are surely not alone. I still think of her every moment of my day, everytime I close my eyes or I am not busy I start playing again and again in my head the same movie of our last discussions, changing my sentences to what I think I should have said, trying to imagine how it could have been. A very exhausting and unstoppable activity. But still better than when, suddenly, images of her having sex with someone else just pop in my head and fill me with horror and dispair. There seem to be no rest, I assume only time will help, allowing our memory to slowly foget. 2
FredJones80 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 But still better than when, suddenly, images of her having sex with someone else just pop in my head and fill me with horror and dispair Haha, I've had that. Are they always better looking, more muscular and all round seem better than you? I never see a little, fat, balding guy with sweaty armpits, only ever a greek adonis with porn star features. Out of my head!
Brutus Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 Haha, I've had that. Are they always better looking, more muscular and all round seem better than you? I never see a little, fat, balding guy with sweaty armpits, only ever a greek adonis with porn star features. Out of my head! As strange as it may seem, I do not imagine him, I do not care how he looks like. I do not compare. I just see her doing things we used to do to each other to someone else, and I feel betrayed. And immensly hurt. 1
Author STM206 Posted May 12, 2014 Author Posted May 12, 2014 Ah how I can relate, brother. I relate with this so, so strongly... But rest assured (no pun intended), you aren't alone in this. I feel that feeling you just described. I feel the anxiety, the loss, the pain. It's important you accept the painful thoughts and feelings when they come into your mind, so that they may pass. If you try to repress them, it will make things worse. Stay strong brother. You aren't alone. I've been trying to do that but it feels like a catch 22. If I try and let the thoughts come, It's so easy to become consumed by them. I even at times find myself out and about with such thoughts creeping in. "Oh remember you did this with him, this reminds me of him" and so forth. I guess I just feel directionless right now in life. Thanks for the reply though, it's comforting to know that these feelings are normal even after this amount of time.
Author STM206 Posted May 12, 2014 Author Posted May 12, 2014 No, you are surely not alone. I still think of her every moment of my day, everytime I close my eyes or I am not busy I start playing again and again in my head the same movie of our last discussions, changing my sentences to what I think I should have said, trying to imagine how it could have been. A very exhausting and unstoppable activity. But still better than when, suddenly, images of her having sex with someone else just pop in my head and fill me with horror and dispair. There seem to be no rest, I assume only time will help, allowing our memory to slowly foget. See that's the strange thing about me. I KNOW my ex is having sex with someone else - yet that doesn't seem to bother me as much. It's more of the emotional connection that bothers me. I always thought that if my ex had cheated on me physically it would tear us apart, but I wonder about that now, it feels like it might be a lot easier to overcome physical cheating as opposed to emotional cheating to me. Sex is great, but it plays such a small part of what a relationship entails in my opinion. However, everyone views it differently - that's what makes all unique in our own ways.
FredJones80 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 I KNOW my ex is having sex with someone else Maybe he was struck down with a bad case of impotence and isn't Justice
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