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My relationship VS my BF's sister's relationship

mammasita

By mammasita
in General Relationship Discussion

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mammasita Established Member

mammasita

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I know, I'm comparing when I really shouldn't be and/or maybe I just need to vent??

 

My BF has a younger sister (25), she has a new BF - they've been together to total of maybe 2 months now. His sister and I are FB friends so of course I see what goes on and I'm also nosey :p.

 

Admittedly, what I'm writing here is based off of social media because this is what they both put out there and display to the world and not from conversations I've had with either of them:

-she bought mother's day flowers for his mom

-he bought her mom a gift (it was from both of them, not just him)

-they're already "in love" saying I love you everywhere

-hash tags and she's the best, he's the best, she's my world, he's my world EVERYWHERE

 

The mother's day thing really made me feel like a dirt bag. Not that I'm trying to compete, but in retrospect I feel like I should have at least gotten her a card.

 

The mother's day thing, in truth, is what made me start comparing more so than the whole "I love you" blah blah stuff. They're young. They go back in forth on social media. Kinda makes me wanna throw up in my mouth a little :sick: LOL.

 

But 2 months? I just feel like it's kissing a55 a bit. Gifts and flowers already?

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MissBee Established Member

MissBee

Posted
Posted (edited)
I know, I'm comparing when I really shouldn't be and/or maybe I just need to vent??

 

My BF has a younger sister (25), she has a new BF - they've been together to total of maybe 2 months now. His sister and I are FB friends so of course I see what goes on and I'm also nosey :p.

 

Admittedly, what I'm writing here is based off of social media because this is what they both put out there and display to the world and not from conversations I've had with either of them:

-she bought mother's day flowers for his mom

-he bought her mom a gift (it was from both of them, not just him)

-they're already "in love" saying I love you everywhere

-hash tags and she's the best, he's the best, she's my world, he's my world EVERYWHERE

 

The mother's day thing really made me feel like a dirt bag. Not that I'm trying to compete, but in retrospect I feel like I should have at least gotten her a card.

 

The mother's day thing, in truth, is what made me start comparing more so than the whole "I love you" blah blah stuff. They're young. They go back in forth on social media. Kinda makes me wanna throw up in my mouth a little :sick: LOL.

 

But 2 months? I just feel like it's kissing a55 a bit. Gifts and flowers already?

 

 

My bf and I have been together for about that time and yes I would agree it's a bit much. He did tell me to tell my mom happy mother's day and thanks for creating a beautiful woman like me lol, but that was it, I likewise extended a greeting to his mom from me. But at this point things are very new and still need time to mature, and because we want things to work we are taking things in stride and not rushing. If we're together next year and years after then I have plenty of time to forge that relationship but doing it prematurely, I don't see the point.

 

I also find it amusing and annoying when people are newly together and are being over the top on social media....as without fail in my own observation, things end sooner rather than later and it is even more awkward because everything was on front page news for all to scrutinize. It almost seems like they are operating under this feeling that time is running out so you have to do everything 10 Xs as fast and it seems like time does run out quickly for these types sooner than later.

 

If we're truly in love it will only deepen and I will be around for quite a while so will have plenty of time to cozy up to mom is how I see it, and by then it will be more authentic IMO as I'd have gotten the time to meet her, interact with her and thus any gifts from me would be genuine.,..whereas after 2 months, it would be a nice gesture but definitely more about winning points than because his mom and I have any kind of meaningful relationship.

Edited by MissBee
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Silly_Girl Established Member

Silly_Girl

Posted
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It's a bit weird. But they operate differently to you, OP, and differently to me :p

 

I think you're best off ignoring them. And not comparing :)

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mammasita Established Member

mammasita

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It's a bit weird. But they operate differently to you, OP, and differently to me :p

 

I think you're best off ignoring them. And not comparing :)

I agree. I tend to be nosey and social media makes it way too easy :p

 

I know I shouldn't compare and try not to for the most part.

d0nnivain Established Member

d0nnivain

Posted
Posted

I didn't get my MILs mothers' day gifts. Don't compare yourself to them.

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

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The only thing I don't like is when people get more sex in relationships than I do. Don't care about the rest :p

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acrosstheuniverse Established Member

acrosstheuniverse

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It would be majorly weird in my country to buy a Mother's Day gift for your partner's Mother. Just wouldn't be done.

 

2 months is WAY too soon for social media showing-off in a new relationship too, I'm so aware that it can end at any moment that until we'd been together maybe a year I don't imagine I'd purposefully be posting couply selfies or anything. We've been together just over three months and the most couply thing I've done on facebook so far is upload my birthday pics which he happened to be in, and a few had us as a couple, and tag him when I check in places like gigs we're at in different cities. I almost posted something today saying how one perk of being bed bound as I am at the moment is having an awesome boyfriend to take care of me, because I kinda wanted to recognise that he has worked his arse off this past four days feeding me, holding me, giving me meds every four to six hours, putting away my clean laundry because I can't stand seeing laundry draped around, washing my hair for me and just generally being incredible. And then I thought... nobody needs to see that sht. He isn't doing it for public recognition and our friends don't need to see what's going on between us within these four walls right now. Plus it'd probably make me feel uneasy in case he dumps me tomorrow haha.

 

As for Mother stuff, well I went to stay with him at his parents a few weeks ago on our way to another city, and we got on like a house on fire, when we got back I suggested we write a thankyou card for having us, which was in my handwriting (because it'd be kinda outta character for him to thank her for doing something he often does anyway and I was thanking her for stuff she did for me she wouldn't have done if I wasn't there) and he posted. She seemed pretty thrilled with that and I think it's only polite when someone has hosted you for two days.

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mammasita Established Member

mammasita

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It would be majorly weird in my country to buy a Mother's Day gift for your partner's Mother. Just wouldn't be done.

 

2 months is WAY too soon for social media showing-off in a new relationship too, I'm so aware that it can end at any moment that until we'd been together maybe a year I don't imagine I'd purposefully be posting couply selfies or anything. We've been together just over three months and the most couply thing I've done on facebook so far is upload my birthday pics which he happened to be in, and a few had us as a couple, and tag him when I check in places like gigs we're at in different cities. I almost posted something today saying how one perk of being bed bound as I am at the moment is having an awesome boyfriend to take care of me, because I kinda wanted to recognise that he has worked his arse off this past four days feeding me, holding me, giving me meds every four to six hours, putting away my clean laundry because I can't stand seeing laundry draped around, washing my hair for me and just generally being incredible. And then I thought... nobody needs to see that sht. He isn't doing it for public recognition and our friends don't need to see what's going on between us within these four walls right now. Plus it'd probably make me feel uneasy in case he dumps me tomorrow haha.

 

As for Mother stuff, well I went to stay with him at his parents a few weeks ago on our way to another city, and we got on like a house on fire, when we got back I suggested we write a thankyou card for having us, which was in my handwriting (because it'd be kinda outta character for him to thank her for doing something he often does anyway and I was thanking her for stuff she did for me she wouldn't have done if I wasn't there) and he posted. She seemed pretty thrilled with that and I think it's only polite when someone has hosted you for two days.

 

I'm with you. I would have done the same in your situation, maybe a card or email even.

 

I often comment to my BF that I am SOOOOO happy that he's not a social media nut. He does have a FB, as do I obviously, but we don't post to eachother....like ever (well ok, maybe a funny here and there). We have a couple pictures with eachother and thats it. His sister and her BF comment to eachother things they can text to eachother. I'm like does the whole world need to know you were just thinking about eachother? UGH. :laugh:

acrosstheuniverse Established Member

acrosstheuniverse

Posted
Posted
I'm with you. I would have done the same in your situation, maybe a card or email even.

 

I often comment to my BF that I am SOOOOO happy that he's not a social media nut. He does have a FB, as do I obviously, but we don't post to eachother....like ever (well ok, maybe a funny here and there). We have a couple pictures with eachother and thats it. His sister and her BF comment to eachother things they can text to eachother. I'm like does the whole world need to know you were just thinking about eachother? UGH. :laugh:

 

Yeah, honestly when I see couples posting things to each other on their walls, or tagging them in statuses, that they could easily have texted one another it makes me cringe. I get the 'ooh, look at the lovely flowers my boyfriend got me!' posts, because they're wanting to share a gift received with their friends, which is clearly different from just thanking the bf via text. I can even understand the occasional declaration of love, the 'just have to say how lucky I am to have THE MOST amazing husband in the world, who does this this and this for me and our family' because at least it's overt, it's blatantly a post that wants other people to know these things for whatever reason. I can't pretend that on occasion I haven't done the same about one of my best friends when they've achieved something incredible or supported me really well through something!

 

But the constant dribble of 'love you baby xxx' 'what's for tea baby xxx' 'oooh you look so cute laid there sleeping baby xxx', it's simultaneously show offy, insincere and sneaky. And it's ten times weirder when the couple aren't established and have only been dating for five minutes.

 

Not that I get my knickers in too much of a twist over it, if something annoys me I'd just block them on my feed.

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