I cant find joy in anything

[jt27]

I am just over 6 weeks post BU. I still find very little joy in virtually anything I do. Whether I am with friends, family, being active, etc. Eventually I am just overcome with sadness. I am tired of it yet I can't escape it. I am tired of being that guy. There are times when my logical mind rears it's head then it's just consumed by my emotion. I feel like it will never stop. I constantly blame myself for her leaving. Always wanting her back. I want to get angry but I don't. I don't want to hold on to something that isn't there. I am having a really hard time letting her go. I need something to help me move on. Any unconventional tactics out there? Not the "just need time" or "go to the gym" etc cliches.

 

Sorry to be a downer guys.

[this2shallpass]

I so feel for you, I am going through the same right now, so I know.. sorry that I cant be much of help. But just think about that you are not alone feeling like this. I, as many others, are right there with you. And many others before us, and they have managed to move on and become happy again with a new partner. I just try to think about that..even though its not always imaginable, and not much of a comfort right now, since you are so stuck on a certain person..

 

Me too are looking for other tactics then the "gym" and "just keep urself busy"..busy with whaat.. i dont feel like doing anything and dont feel like getting out of bed in the mornings, and i cant fall asleep at night..

[Alcatraz]

I can unfortunately relate to this. About 4 weeks for me, some days are harder than others but I still fail to find joy in things I once did. Some days eating even becomes a chore. All I really want to do is sleep and not face reality. The one positive thing I can hold on to though is that I've been through this before, although under different circumstances. But I did get over that and I did become stronger for it. I don't have the answers on how to get over it but remember that times heals all wounds and just try to take your mind off it as much as you can. Read books or watch films that don't relate to love at all.

[Kansas87]

I know how you feel; you're not alone. I think the worst time in healing is that point when it's been a while, and you kind of feel like you *should* be over it or at least progressing by now, but you're not.

 

Just remember that everyone heals at different rates, and everyone handles grief differently.

 

Keep doing what you're doing. Eventually you'll realize you haven't thought about your ex in an hour, then half a day, then a day, and then one day you'll realize you haven't thought about them in several days and when you do you don't feel heartbroken anymore. I promise.

 

That is the thought I am holding onto to get through this week: one day in a few weeks, I will wake up and he won't be the first thing I think about.

[Kansas87]

As for practical advice, here's all I've got:

Get involved in a new TV show, book series, or something that will suck you in. Become a nerd about it and join an online fandom community- this will help you "obsess" about something else.

Do something new- take a class, join something (these options don't exist in my area but I wish I could), etc. Something that is "different" and has no mental ties to your ex.

Surf online dating sites. Don't start talking to anyone yet, just remind yourself that there are plenty of other fish in the sea.

When you can't stop thinking about her, post on LS then go over to one of the "non-love-related" forums and read/respond to those for a while.

 

I'm sure these seem pretty random and maybe not your cup of tea, but they're what I try to do. Good luck

[this2shallpass]

i just took one of your advices now, cause I think that will take my mind off of my ex..get involved in a good tv show, and try to "obsess" over something else.

[jt27]

Thanks for all the advice guys. Keep it coming.

 

I like the idea of looking at the non-love related forums and post on those. I will do that.

 

I hear ya on the eating being a chore. I haven't really had an appetite since it has happened. Food just doesn't taste very good anymore. Maybe the fact that we were foodies has something to with that. I used to cook for her all the time, so doing that is even a trigger right now. I live alone with my dog, which we got together so that even triggers me too. The home I have I bought when we were together so even the house is sometimes a trigger. Triggers are everywhere and I am trying my best to avoid them.

 

I can fall asleep at night normally because I am so exhausted by then but I do wake up in the middle of the night a lot and can't fall back asleep. I am now dreaming of her constantly and that isn't helping matters.

[FredJones80]

Thanks for all the advice guys. Keep it coming.

 

I like the idea of looking at the non-love related forums and post on those. I will do that.

 

I hear ya on the eating being a chore. I haven't really had an appetite since it has happened. Food just doesn't taste very good anymore. Maybe the fact that we were foodies has something to with that. I used to cook for her all the time, so doing that is even a trigger right now. I live alone with my dog, which we got together so that even triggers me too. The home I have I bought when we were together so even the house is sometimes a trigger. Triggers are everywhere and I am trying my best to avoid them.

 

I can fall asleep at night normally because I am so exhausted by then but I do wake up in the middle of the night a lot and can't fall back asleep. I am now dreaming of her constantly and that isn't helping matters.

 

JT27 I'm coming up to 6 weeks myself and I feel the same as you, I just want it to end tbh

[jt27]

Yeah, me too Fred. I just want it be over. I feel for ya. Stay strong brother.

 

I have never lived through such a struggle.