Michael 93 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 From people that have dealt and got over heartbreak from a long term relationship with the love of your life.. When did you finally realize you don't need them anymore and you are over them?? What hit you for you to realize.
this2shallpass Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 ugh..wish i also knew that... it seems never ending..going through it all now..
lamis Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 I don't think you're really over someone until it no longer makes you sad to think about what you have lost and the fact that that person is no longer in your life anymore.
this2shallpass Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 how to get there is, and when, or if..is the problem..
learning_slowly Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 There is no sudden realisation. You do wake up one day and look forward to the things you can get up to being single. I appreciated having time to do whatever I wanted with no obligations. Then 1 day I met somebody else. I would find it hard to remember what some of my exes looked like now. And I bet if I met some in the street I would not recognise them. If you are still thinking about them, smile and immediately think about something else to replace the thought. After a while your brain will associate being happy with not thinking about them. Then once your over the worst part, look at the positives of being single and do things. Don't dwell. The rest of your life is beginning... 1
this2shallpass Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 problem is i cant get my mind off of him. i dont know what to think about to replace the thought of him, and its the way he left me also that makes it extra hard. just nothing i can do. 1
jalfy Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 You know you are over them when you can feel happy for their new relationship. 2
MoooOinkBaaa Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 You are there when the thought of them makes you smile a little because you know you got past them breaking your heart. 1
RDawg Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 I have started to see our failed relationship in a different light. I realise that I wasn't that happy either and that she wasn't perfect. I still miss her but this change in perception means I'm making progress.
SadNLonley Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 problem is i cant get my mind off of him. i dont know what to think about to replace the thought of him, and its the way he left me also that makes it extra hard. just nothing i can do. This may seem silly, but i also still struggle with the memories. Today I put a rubberband on my wrist. Each time he pops in my head, im going to snap it. Im hoping my brain will stop thinking about him after so many snaps. lol I'll try anything.
greenbee81 Posted May 14, 2014 Posted May 14, 2014 Everyone differs. I've heard that it takes about half the time to get over your ex than you guys were together. Makes sense because my 3 year took about 18 months and 4 year about 2 years to get over. I think the process is faster if you have support like this forum.
L1ght Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Well since you are asking the question it means you havn't got there yet. Guess what? When you get to the point where you are over someone you just know, you feel healthy again, you feel alive, you feel like you have value instead of feeling worthless, you can smile in the mirror, you can laugh and have a sense of humour, you think about things in life that have nothing to do with your ex, you simply carry on living the same way you did before you even met them.....oh and your desire to find someone new gets stronger and I don't mean in the rebound kind of way. I mean you look at potential partners and crave something more than just the physical....you look for that spiritual connection again. 2
todreaminblue Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 when i knew it was time, it started with a really heavy heart, a heavy heart because he was saying he missed me and reminiscing.......and he said this verbatim....."don't tell anyone its between you and me"......(he was and is still in another relationship) my heart got heavier day by day.......even though i have had three children to him and spent fifteen years and the woman he is with had an affair with him.....i could not imagine doing it to her..nor lying to everyone around me.........so i gave up the fight...i was never defeated i forfeited.... i know that love can never be deceitful or should, ever be hidden because it woudl hurt soemone else to know......i dont like having a heavy heart i weigh a tonne then....so i let go........we are friends from before we began we are friends now it is over, always will be........but i cant go back ..........not for me, not for him, not for my kids........it was meant to end....... i have a new beginning to complete and i wont waste time anymore looking over my shoulder to see what was.......i want to know what is and what will be.......thats a wonderful possibility for me and my tomorrows, yesterday is gone, done and dusted
Rig88 Posted May 15, 2014 Posted May 15, 2014 Whatever anyone says , breakups are always horrible. They affect everyone differently , depending on the duration/intensity of the relationship. Your first love is always the hardest to get over. The only thing that you can do is take care of yourself during the hard times. You need to protect yourself by cutting contact if you're 100% on the breakup. Trying to contact them via text or social network sites is only going to prolong the pain. Keep yourself busy by seeing friends or even taking up a new hobby. The time that you would usually spend with your partner , fill that time by doing something productive thats going to help you with your life like maybe a part time course? You will wake up one day and think 'I havent thought about them in a while.' Everyday gets thats little bit easier. Good Luck.
rubberman Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 When your ex walking pass you with another person, and you don't care.
FaithinIron Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 Simple, when you can picture them being intimate with someone else, with no feelings at all.
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