Rebound

[Donna066]

Hi I've just come out of a 21 year marriage, I was the one that left, my husband didn't take any notice of me or the kid. He plays in a very successful band at weekend, works full time in the week, also doing a 4 year college course, on top of that he has MS.

I have always been there for him and supported him his band has been running for 14 years, he did everything regarding the running of it, the more he took on the more we got pushed away, his mood swings etc. he now and again was abit handy with his fist too. Nasty when had a drink. I did everything to keep the house and kids running so he could do what he wanted.

I kept treating to leave, I did leave a year ago he begged me to go back, in tears, always said I was his rock his best friend. So I went back, we moved house everything, but he never changed.

In the end I left while he was away one weekend took everything, for 3 weeks he begged me to go back, said he would do anything, give band up everything, but couldn't risk it. I stilled loved him very much, it took me 3 weeks to even speak to him coz I knew I'd crack if I did.

Anyway a month later he rings me to tell me he's met someone, since then he's near enough living at her house, now saying he loves her, that he's not been in love with me for a while that were better off apart he's happy etc.I am devastated to say the least not coz I want him back but because he's moved on so quickly we mean so little, I can't eat, go out etc. I still love him, I don't want him back so why do I feel like this. His son is autistic dosnt want anything to do with him.

I can't get my ex to understand it's too soon, they are putting pics on Facebook, he's doing all the things with her we've been wanting him to do for years

[ayala]

I'm sorry.

 

I'm sure you're a great mother and happy belated mother's day.

 

Stay strong for yourself and your son.

 

If you're friends on facebook, set it so you never see updates. Don't look at his profile. If you feel the urge to, close your browser right away, get up, take a breath outside or cry, whatever will help you, go back and watch something funny or whatever. Distract yourself from what they do.

 

He wasn't right for you. He was a mess and who knows how it will go for his new girlfriend? He might treat her the same way he did to you.

 

Don't harbor any grudge. Don't harbor any hate. Forgive if you wish, but never forget. Instead, grow strong. You have a son and your own life to worry about. Your ex is no longer in the picture.

 

Post positive things. Don't show him you're hurting. Tell your friends or family, but don't tell him. Go on and date someone that will treat you well. There are still guys out there that will still love you for who you are, love your child, who could be a better father and who you will proudly show off.

 

Stay strong, stand tall, and keep moving forward. Hope this helps. Cheers!