Is it harder for a couple to breakup if family and friends are all entertwined and we

[shirleyg]

Is it harder for a couple to breakup if family and friends are all entertwined and we've been together for 8 years?

 

My cousins and my brother are all friends with my boyfriend and his family and his cousins. Like we're all one big family now and we all hang out all the time.

 

If we aren't happy, how do we break up when all our family and friends are now friends?

 

We're still young, mid 20's, but we've been together forever. Sometimes I don't think he's the one for me we never dated anyone else. And he still hasn't proposed to me which is a big deal to me. When we discuss marriage he says he doesn't know what he wants. How can he not know? We've been together forever and our family and friends all know each other and keep in touch with eachother. We are basically family now. I always assumed we would just get married. Why hasn't he proposed yet?

[amaysngrace]

You need to talk to him about that.

 

Do you two ever say anything about the future of your relationship? If he asked you to marry him would you even say yes?

 

You sound like you're thinking about breaking up with him.

 

If I were you I'd put all of the other relationships on the back burner for now and focus on the main one...the one you have with him.

 

Are you happy with it?

[shirleyg]

How do I know if I'm happy? It's the only relationship I've ever had.

I love him, but I just don't know. I have weird feelings.

 

And our families being so close makes it harder to break up. I feel stuck. I feel like this is it for ever. A part of me wants to marry him, but a part of me feels as though he's got eyes for other girls. I found out he was exchanging inappropriate photos with other girls and having phone sex. So there's that too.

[amaysngrace]

Break up with him and when they ask why tell them the truth.

 

Let them know how he's been disrespecting you and your feelings. Anybody who faults you for that doesn't matter even if they're your family because if they care about you they'd want him to treat you right.

 

You need to stop worrying about everyone else and what they will think and just do what you do and let them show you their true colors.

 

If they're not on your side then it's best to know that sooner than later rather than them being phony towards you.

 

Do what's best for YOU. You only have one life.

[shirleyg]

Thanks I do have to do more thinking. 8 years is also a lot to just throw away. I do love him but I'm just so hurt by his behavior as of late. I don't want to go through heartbreak, I just want to be happy. I'm a happy person. But this is stressing me out. Thank you

[MidwestUSA]

Thanks I do have to do more thinking. 8 years is also a lot to just throw away. I do love him but I'm just so hurt by his behavior as of late. I don't want to go through heartbreak, I just want to be happy. I'm a happy person. But this is stressing me out. Thank you

 

Do you want to go on and and later say '16 years is a lot to throw away'? Your gut is telling you you're not happy, or that you're not even sure what happiness is. Take a break from this relationship and find out.

 

His unwillingness to commit after all this time tells me he's probably wondering the same thing. He might even admit just that to you if you pry a little. Maybe you can have a mutual break. Good luck!

[d0nnivain]

Is the only reason you are unhappy & thinking of breaking up with him because he hasn't proposed yet? If so you need to talk to him about your expectations. Most young men in their early 20s aren't ready to be tied down. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you or that he doesn't want to marry you eventually but just not yet.

 

It is possible for two people to break up even if their families are friendly. It willl be harder to go NC & there will be an adjustment period. Your family may still talk to him. You may still be friends with his family etc. But it is possible.