Author Lovestinks6 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Posted May 13, 2014 No clue where dinner is going to be! Steakhouse somewhere
FredJones80 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 No clue where dinner is going to be! Steakhouse somewhere Awesome. at least enjoy your steak, finish it before you walk out On a serious note, good luck!
Author Lovestinks6 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Posted May 13, 2014 @fred. Lol! Thanks man. Im so damn nervous!!!!
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Sounds like you are ready to bear the brunt of all of this on your shoulders. This would be a mistake. It takes two to make a RS work and fail. She has a hand in this to. Make sure you keep that in mind throughout your meetup. If you just fold like a cheap card table and take responsibility for everything, she will lose all respect for you... My advice would be to cancel this meeting, explain to her that you need some time to work on yourself and walk away for a few weeks/months and agree to open up communication at a later date. No matter how ready you think you are and how much you swear you won't act a certain way, the truth is without some time for reflection, healing and growing, you will just be right back to where you are now, possibly even worse off... It is obvious throughout this thread you are not ready to fix this RS...
Author Lovestinks6 Posted May 16, 2014 Author Posted May 16, 2014 We'll, we went to dinner yesterday. Dinner went really good and we didnt once bring up the realationship. Talked about everything else and joked alot. After she invited me in but i said i have to work early so i went to leave. She tried to kiss me but i said we shouldnt be doing this and it was you who wanted to break up. Walking away was so hard and i could hear her start to sob. She called me in 10 mins and said she made a huge mistake and wants to talk and work things out. Told her i have plans this weekend but we can talk sunday. Things are looking up!!! 2
soccerrprp Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 (edited) How interesting.... First of all, someone says that the failure of a relationship takes two...hmm, not always. It is often the case that the one person is fully responsible for the end of a relationship. It is true that it takes two to make it work, maintain it, but a single person can easily be responsible for its demise. So, OP, you know what crap you've done and you admit to it, so you better have worked on that. On another note. Your most recent post is puzzling. What are you trying to prove by your recent actions? You have a great dinner, never talked about the relationship and how it could be different, what changes you've made. She tries to kiss you, you resist and pull the "you're the one who wanted to break-up" crap in her face. She cries and tells you she made a mistake (which I'm doubting) and you brush her off and tell her that you have plans for the weekend. What a series of jerk-off things to do, imho. You want her back??????? What, now that you see that you may have the upper hand, you're going to milk that? Be the tough guy??? Sling it back in her face??? Edited May 16, 2014 by soccerrprp 1
Author Lovestinks6 Posted May 16, 2014 Author Posted May 16, 2014 Thats not what im trying to do. I want to make sure this is truely what she wants. I dont want her to rush into anything. Now your sounding like the *******.
soccerrprp Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 Thats not what im trying to do. I want to make sure this is truely what she wants. I dont want her to rush into anything. Now your sounding like the *******. Good to hear. Your actions AND words seemed stand-offish. With all the crappy, male-ego advice that goes on, I was worried that you were doing something else. Good luck. I hope you've changed your ways so that you are worthy for her to take back. How disappointing it would be if you haven't changed and she takes you back...
Strength in Healing Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 lovestinks, your efforts are going to backfire. I have studied psychology now 14 years, and am getting my PhD. There is no way to tell initially if it's what she truly wants. You pushing her away like this is making her want you superficially, but killing certain feelings internally. You don't understand what you're doing, but I assure you, it's causing damage. I've seen many, many, many cases like this and people tend to get back together until the relationship slips back into a complacent feeling. Good luck. I don't say this to scare you, or to send you bad energy, but you need to understand, you are playing with fire. You haven't made any changes in this period of time, and time will show you that.
Chi townD Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 You got the call most everyone here that wants to work thing out Ex's get. The only time you ever respond to anything an Ex throws your way is "I'm sorry and I made a mistake." anything else is just breadcrumbs. Now, it's up to you if you want to work things out with her or not. If you do, then tell her you're willing to work on things, but there's changes that have to happen. If she just wants things to go back to the way things were; then no, the way things were is what got you two broken up in the first place. Also, own up to your own faults. Your hand in the demise of the relationship. Don't lay it all on her. Tell her that if she wants to work things out, then you two need to go through couples counseling. If she wants back into the relationship, then she will be willing to do this.
Author Lovestinks6 Posted May 16, 2014 Author Posted May 16, 2014 Thanks for the replys guys. It really helps. I agree on the couples counciling and going to give that a try. I know i cant change 100% in 2 weeks but i notice a change already. Im thinking before I speak now lol, only took me 26 years!
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