Lovestinks6 Posted May 11, 2014 Posted May 11, 2014 This really hurts! I was with my ex for about 5 years and I didnt treat her right. I don't know why I did this but I can see now that I was wrong. I never cheated on her just was not a very caring person. Well after she dumped me I immediatly tried to apologize and begged her to take me back. She said she cant let go of the bad **** I've done and its over forever! I know now that she was upset and hated my guts! Only thinking of the bad times. Last message to her was "i respect your decision". But I really do love this girl and I want to marry her. I have never told her this until no so I looks like im just saying anything to get her back. Again, my fault. So every few days I drop off little reminders at her place that gets her to think about me. Flowers, card, sushi roll lol. I read about the No Contact rule for 30 days but that seems like a huge time and I can't do it. So after 5 days she said she misses me and maybe we can be together in the future. I took this as a good sign. Then today she said we are going out to dinner this next week. This has to be great for me right?
nerdlingZA Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 U were a jerk during the relationship , now that she's gone u c what u lost. U will get her back since ur breakup isn't severe like the rest her. Just don't beg from now on.
Author Lovestinks6 Posted May 12, 2014 Author Posted May 12, 2014 thanks bro I apperciate it. And I want to change to make myself a better person.
ahthepain Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 It sounds promising. But it will only work if you think long and hard about where you went wrong and are sincere about this girl. You won't feel secure for a while in the relationship because she has been prepared to end it. Also be prepared for her to maybe request some more space at the dinner and not jump back into your arms. I hope it works out for you buddy.
David87 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 If se said that she wants to have diner together. Than go for it. Try not to make the same mistakes and always be a gentleman. If she says that she wants to be just friends, don't accept that . . . If she wants to get back together make sure you'll never make the same mistakes ever again and treat her like a queen( I'm exaggerating a bit but you get my point i hope ) 2
Emilia Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 This has to be great for me right? For you yes, for her probably not so much. Leopards don't change their spots so if she has sense she stays away. You'll probably screw up again soon enough anyway. 4
Author Lovestinks6 Posted May 12, 2014 Author Posted May 12, 2014 Thanks for the encouraging words! It really helps. And to emilla im NOT gonna screw this up. Going for dinner thurdays night! I feel like im back in high school all excited again! Lol! I will post updates, thanks guys and gals!
deathandtaxes Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 All those little things you were doing look a little bit creepy and needy. And this is NOT what NC is for. NC is NOT to get another chance with an ex. It's a chance for YOURSELF to heal. Which, after five years, you both need some time and space for healing, not to just rush back into what was from her perspective a broken relationship. Most likely, she had been planning on ending things with you for a long time. One dinner will not fix a relationship. If you were really, really serious about this woman, you'd skip the dinner and take a break from her. 2
lolablue17 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 A good sign. But dont jump on it too much. Take it slow. Respect her tempo.
Author Lovestinks6 Posted May 12, 2014 Author Posted May 12, 2014 Thanks everyone. Ill let you know how this goes thursday. I wont come across too needy or beg. Just going to act normal. Going to be very hard though.
Chi townD Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 Okay, I'm going to play devil's advocate here. This might not end up the way you hope. This could be a closure meet up for her. She might have set this up to reaffirm to you that you two are still over but she wouldn't rule out being friends in the future. She just didn't want things to end on the bad note that it previously was in. So, hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. If she's open to it, you might suggest couples counseling. 2
Author Lovestinks6 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Posted May 13, 2014 never thought about that chi town!!! Just great. If she says lets just be friends should I just get up and leave?
Chi townD Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Well, if she tries it on you. To friend zone you, you can tell her that you realize that there were things that you did wrong during the relationship and you would give anything to have a chance to make it right. But, if she is adamant about not trying again, then that's it. Tell her that you didn't get into a relationship with her for the final outcome is that you're nothing more than a really good friend to her. And that you can't be friends with her while you still harbor romantic feelings for her. That wouldn't be fair to you or her. By her choice on not wanting to try and work things out, then she is making the decision to have you out of her life. And as much as you don't want it, you'll respect her decision and this will be the last time you see or speak to her. Then leave. Start to go NC and move on. Heal from this and recognize what you did wrong with this relationship. And apply what you've learned as what NOT to do in your next relationship.
mtnbiker3000 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 If she does give you another chance (or even if not) I suggest really taking a long, hard look at yourself and your behaviors. Therapy would probably be good. I would also recommend a few books: Toxic Parents Breaking the Chains of Low Self Esteem No More Mr. Nice Guy Sounds like you need to do some work on yourself, and thank your lucky stars she's willing to give it another shot. Don't let her (or yourself) down!!!
Author Lovestinks6 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Posted May 13, 2014 Thanks for all the help advice/help everyone! You dont know how good it feels to talk about this! I dont think a girl would invite someone to dinner just to say its over for good, but who knows!!! And she hasnt came over to get her things yet so that has to be good right?
lolablue17 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 I dont think a girl would invite someone to dinner just to say its over for good You'll be amazed how low some girls can get... 1
Always Pondering Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 If you two do get back together, make sure your problems do not rise again because I've done the same thing before and since the time between BU and getting back together was so short, I had the same problems again since I did not self-reflect enough in that time frame. So much emphasis on this. But good luck to your dinner OP! Let us know what happens 1
Author Lovestinks6 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Posted May 13, 2014 @AP trust me man, I'll never be that guy again. I see now the pain i put her thru and never want to do that again! Took this for me to realaize that shes the one.
lauri Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 @AP trust me man, I'll never be that guy again. I see now the pain i put her thru and never want to do that again! Took this for me to realaize that shes the one. I know you admit you were wrong about a lot of things...but I do not suggest rushing back into this at all. It won't fix the problems you two had...if I was you I would take this very slow. Show her you are real and genuine about how you feel for her...this has to show in a lot more than words but by your actions. You can go for the dinner - but be careful to not be put into the "friendzone". I'm sure you will be able to improve yourself and make her happy and I sincerely wish you the best. 1
Author Lovestinks6 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Posted May 13, 2014 @Lauir. Thanka for the kind words. I already told myself dont rush into this and im not going to invite her over for a night cap. Damn what if its a dinner to tell me shes already seeing someone?!! **** now i dont want to go lol! 1
movingonnow1 Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 @Lauir. Thanka for the kind words. I already told myself dont rush into this and im not going to invite her over for a night cap. Damn what if its a dinner to tell me shes already seeing someone?!! **** now i dont want to go lol! I doubt that will be the case. But if she does, you say "That makes two of us :)" - you stand up and walk out of the restaurant and never look back. Good luck and keep us posted! 1
Chi townD Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 Thanks for all the help advice/help everyone! You dont know how good it feels to talk about this! I dont think a girl would invite someone to dinner just to say its over for good, but who knows!!! And she hasnt came over to get her things yet so that has to be good right? Not really. The dinner could also be the time to work out the logistics on a good time for her to come by and get her stuff while trying to work you into the friend zone. Look, I know I'm being a downer. But, I want you to see any and all possibilities. I really hope I'm wrong. But, I've seen these meet up dinner, lunches and coffee's go south on a dime. Because folks got their hopes up on false hope only to find out that the meet up had a completely different agenda.
Author Lovestinks6 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Posted May 13, 2014 @moving. Dude that would be the worst thing ever for me! And agreed I will do that! But I know this girl, shes not shallow enough to invite me to dinner and give me that news. I would have got a phone call already.
Author Lovestinks6 Posted May 13, 2014 Author Posted May 13, 2014 (edited) @chi, you have a really good point dude! Well **** anything can happen! Lol. Maybe she'll cancel on me. Also, shes had like 2 weeks or so to get her stuff and has made zero effort. You think when its over you come for your stuff immediatley. Edited May 13, 2014 by Lovestinks6 Forgot something
Chi townD Posted May 13, 2014 Posted May 13, 2014 @chi, you have a really good point dude! Well **** anything can happen! Lol. Maybe she'll cancel on me. I've seen that happen a lot too!
Recommended Posts