PhillyConnection23 Posted May 11, 2014 Posted May 11, 2014 So it was about 30 days since we had our last conversation, a two hour long discussion about what went wrong and why it was ending. Definitely not a great idea but it was relatively civil but very emotional. Anyway, we had a vacation planned for next month but because it was a gift to me, I told her I wasn't going to go and she could cancel it. I guess because of her guilt she suggested I go but if I change my mind to e-mail her. I never intended to go and told myself that after the 30 day mark (today) I would send her the e-mail apologizing for the conversation saying she could cancel it and leaving it there. This weekend she was supposed to be away with a friend of her's so I was going to wait until later in the week to message her. Anyway, I spent Friday night with another woman. It was a pretty sexual encounter and while I was happy I was with someone, I still thought of my ex. I was making progress. This morning I'm sitting in my room doing laundry and my e-mail goes off. "Hi, Have you made a decision about Vegas? Wanted to know if I should cancel the room. Hope all is well." I was completely blind sided by it. Additionally, she had to do it today...Mother's Day. I lost my mother two years ago this month to cancer. She knows that. What the hell was she thinking e-mailing me today? I'm not trying to think deeply into this exchange or anything but it still sucks. It was already a hard day. This just made things worse.
Kansas87 Posted May 11, 2014 Posted May 11, 2014 Well, it sounds like you were on the same page about the 30-day mark. It is upsetting. People have said it before, and it is SOOO true: they crawl out of the woodwork the second you move on. My ex did it to me, and yours did it to you. I say answer via text or email with a simple "I'm not going" and then don't respond any more to anything else she says. Continue on with your life and try to forget about it. Lose yourself in something else. I know that it's not much comfort, but it's really all you can do right now.
FredJones80 Posted May 11, 2014 Posted May 11, 2014 Sorry to hear about your Mom PhillyConnection23, stay strong!
Author PhillyConnection23 Posted May 12, 2014 Author Posted May 12, 2014 My response was pretty basic "Yeah go ahead. Do you need anything from me to cancel it?" She responded to that and that is where we left it. I think for me its partially the fact that I was planning to do this for a while now, on my terms. And she took that from me. It's also getting to me again, because of the day. She knew the day so now that my mind has been wandering (which I said I wasn't going to do) I'm asking myself "Was she thinking about me and decided to ask? Did she not realize what she was doing by asking today? Did she just not care?" I ask that stuff because the way we left our last conversation was that I would e-mail her with my intentions....not the other way around. Thanks Fred. To be entirely honest, watching my mother die a slow and painful death from cancer has actually helped me with this whole process. Mom made a point to tell us all (her kids) that deaths happen but life goes on. You can't dwell on the past. That lesson has really helped me realize life is too short to dwell on the "what ifs" or to live in the past. Sucks it took losing my mom to learn that...
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