feelinggood Posted May 11, 2014 Posted May 11, 2014 1 week into NC and I'm doing good. I do feel the pain and loss sometimes but I try not to linger on it for too long or I'll just text a friend to let it out and I'll be fine. I don't know why do I feel like this, as if it didn't happen. Maybe because deep down I thought there is still chance between us? No, I'm not obsessed with that thought and don't really want it now if it does happen because I know it takes time for people to see, feel and understand the whole situation before making a decision to reconcile... I'm just trying to move on now... Well, this post is not mainly about the BU. I find myself very very fragile these days. The other day I had to bring my grandma to the hospital, along with my uncle. We were there, and both of them were nagging at each other for petty things. I was having a bad day with the heart pain and all, and they were there making me feel worse. To make things worse, we had to sit and wait there for 4 hours. I FELT REEEAAAAAALLYYY SICK because all I wanted to do was go home, lie down on the bed and cry! And to make things even worse, one of the nurses asked if I'm my grandma's daughter. WHAT A JOKE!! AM I THAT BAD NOW?!! And just yesterday, a friend I have met the day before asked me out for lunch. Of course I said yes and when we met up she said her senior is coming over, to present to me about some project they were doing. I was like ok, I didn't know, u didn't tell me. But I was open to listening to it since she needed my support. But I told her I won't be joining her as I'm not in the mood now. Throughout the meet up I felt extremely betrayed, because she told the senior EVERYTHING about me, including the personal things I have told her, including my recent BU and she said it as if it's a joke. I kept it in myself until I reached home and cried, feeling betrayed. IT WAS REALLY AWFUL HOW MY FRIEND HAS 'USED' ME! Didn't she know that I'm still grieving and need support?? It seems like everything has changed after the BU, maybe just coincidence... Oh, and to top it off, I'm having a change in career path, starting all over again. It's scary but I know I have made the right choice. But it's just scary... Too much changes in such a short period of time. I don't know why am I posting this, but I feel extremely fragile now, crying at small things that I would never cried for. AM I NORMAL? 1
Kansas87 Posted May 11, 2014 Posted May 11, 2014 Yes, you're normal. When I get really stressed out it often seems like each new thing that happens is just too much- and there's always something else that comes up, just when I think I'm getting a handle on things. You are fragile right now, and that's ok. I read somewhere that heartache and grief can be just as unhealthy as physical sickness, and it's OK to take it easy for a little while, so be kind to yourself.
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