sammy73 Posted May 11, 2014 Posted May 11, 2014 (edited) Hi, I'm a married mum of 3, married my hubby two years ago after meeting at work ten years earlier. I thought we had a solid relationship, we both work full time, have goals about our future, look after ourselves have a good social life and have a great network of friends that we go out with a lot and also separately, ie girls go out with girls, boys go out with boys. We all live 5 mins away from each other. My husband went out last night with his two male mates. After the pub his friend asked him to come back to his for more drinks. This friends wife is a very close friend of mine. My husband was drunk and his wife offered to drive him home as in the past he has come a cropper walking just down the road after a drinking session! They stopped at the end of our road as they wanted a chat, she is having marriage problems (her husband had an affair a year ago), sounds like they are on the verge of splitting. From what my husband said one thing led to ànother, they snogged and then she performed an oral act! Yes you've guessed it. Her husband then caught them, he obviously concerned why she wasn't home. He was mad as can be expected. My hußband told me everything as he got home. Maybe I shouldn't be feeling this way but I'm more upset with what she's done, she was sobre and one of my closest friends, although what he has done is unforgivable. I know in my heart this wouldn't have hàppened had he not been drunk but I'm still worried if I forgive him, could this not happen again? I left my first husband to be with my present husband and really didn't want another failed marriage but I'm no sucker either, I look after myself, he'll my teenage daughter is always saying her màle friends call me a milf!! I just can't understand what he has done with someone who lets say nicely, doesn't look after herself v well. Although she has always been a massive flirt towards the men in our group but always more so with my husband, not they it has ever bothered me as we've always had a close relationship, What should I do?? Edited May 11, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
anne1707 Posted May 11, 2014 Posted May 11, 2014 Sorry to say this but are you absolutely sure that this was a one time only event? Also drunk or not, unless your H is saying she forced herself on him then he chose to do this. He is responsible for his actions. He is the one who should be held accountable by you. As for your friend? She is no longer your friend and all contact between her and your husband must cease immediately. It may however be worth your while contacting her husband to see what he knows of it all as that may confirm or not what your husband has said. If your husband is completely honest with you and is truly remorseful then this does not mean your marriage is over. But there are a lot of questions to be answered first. 1
Author sammy73 Posted May 11, 2014 Author Posted May 11, 2014 Hi there Yes I've met up with my friends husband and the stories correlate, he actually marched my husband home and spoke to him before speaking to his wife and their versions are identical. We r both sure it was a stupid mistake on their part and they seem to be very remorseful, I think it's more how I can trust him again and I don't want to be a pushover and forgive him! He is away on business for two weeks so I a reprieve before I make any decißions. I am certain it hasn't happened before, I've had no concerns or worries and I'm not someone who can be fooled easily I've had countless messages from the "friend" begging forgiveness and asking that we don't tell anyone, unfortunately we both have the same group of friends. But to be honest I am so repulsed I couldn't think of telling anyone, id hate to be pitied or talked about. It's just such a horrible situation but I'm carrying on as before at the momènt but just staying away from any contact from him 1
Goodbye Posted May 11, 2014 Posted May 11, 2014 I think you should look at this incident a bit more black and white. You seem to be all caught up in who is better looking, you or the MOW? You refer to yourself as a "milf" and the MOW as "no kept well." Does any of that matter? Bottom line, either your H has a problem with alcohol...alcohol impacts his judgment in a way that is dangerous and perhaps he needs to evaluate this...and or has a problem with cheating. Doesn't sound like it took him very long to get from "Give me a ride home to Give me a BJ." I think your focus should be on whether or not your H has serious issues and if all that is forgivable/fixable. Not the looks of the person with whom he cheated. 2
Author sammy73 Posted May 11, 2014 Author Posted May 11, 2014 No that's very true it doesn't matter who he cheated with the fact is he cheated and it's whether the trust can ever be as it was. He has admitted he has a problem with alcohol which I've tried to mention on a few occasions recently. I think it's basically a day at a time at the moment as I'm really not sure how I should be handling this. I actually can't even look at him ATM , he disgusts me so much! Probably more so that it's a close friend of mine that is involved. But the chat with her husband today has helped a lot . 2
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