Medium.Lumo Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 So my oldest brother is leaving town soon so we organised a Get together at my middle brother's house. Not everyone couled make it because of work and school but my brothers, my parents, my one cousin and her Step children and child were there. So it started well. We hung out and chatted and then played pool. Then she said "let's go and swim". I didn't want to and said I really just want to play pool with my brothers. But the kids were really keen on the idea so we ended up doing it. We were supposed to be looking after the kids since no one else wanted to swim. So we went into the pool and messed around in the shallow end with the kids. Then she jumped on me hugging and wrapped her legs around my waist... I told her we were supposed to be looking after the kids. She said they were fine and we floated around together. Then she started putting her hand into my trunks. I told her that it wasn't acceptable and there were kids in the pool. She ignored me. Then she held me tighter when I tried to pull her off. After a while I felt a warm sensation... again I tried to pull her away but she held tighter and told me the kids wouldn't notice as long as I kept quiet and still. Afterwards I felt terrible. It was wrong on so many levels, there were kids in the pool and we were supposed to be looking after them, and she had inserted me into herself against my will. Even now I feel sick thinking about it. We haven't talked about it yet but I do want to confront her. I just don't know what to say. I am so upset but she is acting like nothing is wrong.
MidwestUSA Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 You know you might as well put your own hand down your trunks and find your balls, and just hand them over to her on a platter. Or reclaim them. Your choice, but it's time. You're going to get the same advice from the same people as with all your other concerns about this girl. You need to rethink her redeeming factors. 16
Els Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 Don't say anything. Pack her stuff and leave it on your doorstep. Then block her number and ignore her. But... judging from past responses, you're probably not going to do that. And so the cycle repeats itself... 9
todreaminblue Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 what she did was wrong on many levels i feel for you lumo......she didnt respect you or your personal space or take into account the kids in the pool either............i cant tell you what to do ....but she has to be made to recognise what she did was wrong.......i would ring a hotline and talk to them talk to a professional therapist and explore options for you to heal and for her to face what she has done that has made you suffer........ i wish you well......deb 6
Priv Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 Change all the shes for hes and hes for shes and this forum would be on fire. 28
Author Medium.Lumo Posted May 10, 2014 Author Posted May 10, 2014 You could be right MidwestUSA, but in this case what should I have done? Yes I could have pulled her off... she is much smaller than me. But she was holding on tightly and it would definitely have hurt her, which I am really not into. You know you might as well put your own hand down your trunks and find your balls, and just hand them over to her on a platter. Or reclaim them. Your choice, but it's time. You're going to get the same advice from the same people as with all your other concerns about this girl. You need to rethink her redeeming factors.
Author Medium.Lumo Posted May 10, 2014 Author Posted May 10, 2014 Thanks deb. I appreciate it. I haven't talked to anyone offline. Scared they would laugh. what she did was wrong on many levels i feel for you lumo......she didnt respect you or your personal space or take into account the kids in the pool either............i cant tell you what to do ....but she has to be made to recognise what she did was wrong.......i would ring a hotline and talk to them talk to a professional therapist and explore options for you to heal and for her to face what she has done that has made you suffer........ i wish you well......deb
Candy_Pants Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 This is so disturbing!! I'm so sorry she did this to you. Please get far far away from her. I'd suggest pressing charges, but would you? 2
MidwestUSA Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 You could be right MidwestUSA, but in this case what should I have done? Yes I could have pulled her off... she is much smaller than me. But she was holding on tightly and it would definitely have hurt her, which I am really not into. If it were me and my guy, he'd have gotten a knee to the balls, or a slap across the face. I guess whatever that translates to with the sexes reversed, if you're really sure you had no other way to get her off of you (I'm having trouble believing that, you know?) What now? Pack her stuff and track down a therapist, as deb said. For yourself to learn why you put up with this treatment. And for her, ah who knows? She has a serious boundary problem. 2
Grumpybutfun Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 I hope your brothers and their wives kick your a$$ for doing something that could adversely affect the development of their children. If you were my brother, you and your psycho gf would never, ever have the opportunity to be around my children again. Nothing about this is ok. If you plan on being with this girl, accept that you can't take her around anyone respectable or innocent because she is psycho. You're just as bad because you let her run over you and can't stand up to her or place boundaries. I don't know how many times you need people here to tell you that her behavior is unacceptable before you tell her that she needs to get out. She doesn't respect you or your family. Stop being weak willed and stand up to her and say no. Dump her. This is only going to get worse. She acts like an animal who can't control her impulses and you sound impotent because you can't stand up to her or tell her no. No one is worth this much drama, no one, Grumps 26
d0nnivain Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 Wake up Medium. Do you realize that what your GF did is a SEX CRIME? Forget the "rape" of you. I didn't hear you pushing her away & saying no but having sex in a pool full of kids constitutes crimes against children. If the authorities find out you could be charged as pedophiles. When are you going to wake up & smell the insanity? 6
gaius Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 Every single post, he gets advised by literally everybody that his 'gf' is crazy and he needs to run far, far away from her. Of course, he doesn't have to take the advice he has sought. But it seems really bizarre that he would ignore the advice on every thread, only to pop up a few days later with another thread. If he knows he doesn't like or agree with any of the advice, why is he continuing to request it? Never taking the advice people give you is more the norm than the exception around here. Many just come for an outlet for their problems, not so much for advice on what to do. As far as Medium goes (sorry man gonna talk about you like you're not here for a minute) his personality here seems to match his real life issues. He responds to almost everyone who posts to him, no matter how derogatory they might be. Keeps coming back even though he's getting frequently abused by people now. Sound familiar? The small details are always the hardest to fake and he's got them all right. And quite frankly there are a lot of women who would do what his girlfriend is doing. Almost grooming him and a major boundary violator. They seem to have a bit of the dynamic a lot of people complain about in the older/younger threads, where one is a bit predatory of the other. But they're similar in age. Even if I'm wrong for once and he's a clever troll with weird motives then there's no harm in engaging with him anyway. You think everybody that comes here posts about their issues? I'm sure there's a lot of lurkers who try to figure out whats going on through others, and this is a situation a lot of guys face. So lets just stop with the you're a troll, go away nonsense. If you don't like his threads don't read them. 4
gaius Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 Medium, your girlfriend submitted the one time you made what you wanted clear. So all you really have to do is make that happen more often. Women like it when a guy taked charge a lot of times. If something like that happens again steer her over to the side of the pool, turn her around, push her up against the side and rub her butt a little. Show your dominance and give her some attention at the same time. We really are just animals at the end of the day. Like with Phoe I don't think your partner is a bad person and you don't have to break up with her. As long as you start making what you want clear more often. 1
Bruce Leigh Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 This is so disturbing!! I'm so sorry she did this to you. Please get far far away from her. I'd suggest pressing charges, but would you? Would there be any point, he would just be laughed at. 2
sagetalk Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 Good luck with the rape charges, this is the age of the feminist. Only men can commit sexual crimes and be punished for them. Just look at how easy female teachers get off the hook compared to men. I hope it doesn't last much longer, and with the way feminists are abusing their power, I doubt it will. As for your situation, just get away from this girl. No contact sounds like a good idea, she's nuts. 4
bubbaganoosh Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 So my oldest brother is leaving town soon so we organised a Get together at my middle brother's house. Not everyone couled make it because of work and school but my brothers, my parents, my one cousin and her Step children and child were there. So it started well. We hung out and chatted and then played pool. Then she said "let's go and swim". I didn't want to and said I really just want to play pool with my brothers. But the kids were really keen on the idea so we ended up doing it. We were supposed to be looking after the kids since no one else wanted to swim. So we went into the pool and messed around in the shallow end with the kids. Then she jumped on me hugging and wrapped her legs around my waist... I told her we were supposed to be looking after the kids. She said they were fine and we floated around together. Then she started putting her hand into my trunks. I told her that it wasn't acceptable and there were kids in the pool. She ignored me. Then she held me tighter when I tried to pull her off. After a while I felt a warm sensation... again I tried to pull her away but she held tighter and told me the kids wouldn't notice as long as I kept quiet and still. Afterwards I felt terrible. It was wrong on so many levels, there were kids in the pool and we were supposed to be looking after them, and she had inserted me into herself against my will. Even now I feel sick thinking about it. We haven't talked about it yet but I do want to confront her. I just don't know what to say. I am so upset but she is acting like nothing is wrong. First of all..................who is "she"? Your cousin, the lady next door, who? Second of all, if she sticks her hand down your trunks and then your penis just so happens to find a warm spot while the rest of you body isn't quite as warm, and you still did nothing, then your going to have a real hard time crying rape. If you had no interest in this woman/girl and didn't want to participate in this type of activity, you could have either used you strength to remove her off your dik or used you voice and go the attention. I'm not saying that what she did was right but it could have been prevented.
Phoe Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 First of all..................who is "she"? Your cousin, the lady next door, who? Second of all, if she sticks her hand down your trunks and then your penis just so happens to find a warm spot while the rest of you body isn't quite as warm, and you still did nothing, then your going to have a real hard time crying rape. If you had no interest in this woman/girl and didn't want to participate in this type of activity, you could have either used you strength to remove her off your dik or used you voice and go the attention. I'm not saying that what she did was right but it could have been prevented. Since it's been asked more than once who "she" is, the OP is referring to his girlfriend. 2
Author Medium.Lumo Posted May 10, 2014 Author Posted May 10, 2014 This is so disturbing!! I'm so sorry she did this to you. Please get far far away from her. I'd suggest pressing charges, but would you? I don't think there's anyway to prove she did something illegal.
Author Medium.Lumo Posted May 10, 2014 Author Posted May 10, 2014 To acrosstheuniverse: Why don't I take the advice and break up with her? Maybe you are a stud who attracts women like crazy but most guys have a difficult time getting a girlfriend... read the other threads here about guys who are virgins in their 20s and 30s. Or are they also trolls?
Omei Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 To acrosstheuniverse: Why don't I take the advice and break up with her? Maybe you are a stud who attracts women like crazy but most guys have a difficult time getting a girlfriend... read the other threads here about guys who are virgins in their 20s and 30s. Or are they also trolls? Wow what an excuse, you're unhappy with how she acts but want to stay simply so you don't have to be single or scared you cant get a new girl? If you really think this way your in for a world of hurt and drama and being walked all over for a very long time, did she steal your balls and put them in a jar somewhere while you were in the pool? 3
Bruce Leigh Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 Wow what an excuse, you're unhappy with how she acts but want to stay simply so you don't have to be single or scared you cant get a new girl? If you really think this way your in for a world of hurt and drama and being walked all over for a very long time, did she steal your balls and put them in a jar somewhere while you were in the pool? I don't think he found that easy to say/type but you are dismissing the fear of finding someone else, as something everybody believes they can do. Fear comes in many forms. 1
acrosstheuniverse Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 To acrosstheuniverse: Why don't I take the advice and break up with her? Maybe you are a stud who attracts women like crazy but most guys have a difficult time getting a girlfriend... read the other threads here about guys who are virgins in their 20s and 30s. Or are they also trolls? I'm actually a woman. If your primary reason for staying with this person is that you're scared you won't get another girlfriend, then to be honest you sound as though you could use some counselling around self esteem issues. I would rather be single than put up with half the stuff you talk about here, if it's all true, as would the majority of posters I suspect. If you want to hang on to somebody like this purely because you think it's the best you're gonna get then you can't really be surprised when the relationship isn't to your taste, right? You're accepting anything you can get. Likely she can sense this, and moulds the relationship to her liking. You can either go along with it, stand up for yourself and try to modify the boundaries, or leave. 3
Candy_Pants Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 OP, she raped you. Enough of this victim blaming bullsh it by other posters. SHE RAPED HIM. He said no, she continued. Period. OP it doesn't matter if you can "prove" it. Report it, get a restraining order. She violated you, and could've been seen by the CHILDREN that were in the pool with you. 1
InnocentMan Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 Casually throwing about words like "rape" for a situation like this is just ridiculous, and only demeans the word. Both of them acted inappropriately in front of children, but it's about as far away from an actual rape that you could possibly get. I advise the OP to go to the cops and report it, and see their take on it. I think he may find himself in the dock, along with his woman. It's disturbing that this even happened, or that someone would make up such a story. 4
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