FrostBlaze Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 (edited) This girl is somewhat annoying me. She doesn't seem to kiss based on "feels" or she does, but she keeps track. If i don't return the favor as often as her, she stops doing it or complains that i don't kiss her back when she does every TIME. This is not just about kissing, any sort of affection in general, she keeps count. Often i show her more, she didn't show any back, u don't see me crying. Having a hard time understanding this...uhm. This whole situation makes me feel like "wtf", i told her "you do it if you feel it." I kiss her often for no reason, on the cheek or forehead cuz i like to, without her having to react back. But if i don't react back when she does it, she get's really upset, idk. Ty for your time. What's this all about? Do you know anyone else who does similar...this some low-self esteem problem or what.. Edited May 9, 2014 by FrostBlaze
EasyHeart Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 Yeah, there are people who do this kind of stuff. I've run across women who do it in dating and "friends" who keep count of "favors" they do you. It's a huge amount of work to take care of those people. Run. Don't walk, run! 1
blueskyday Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 She just wants to connect. When she touches you, you respond with touch . Connection takes two. I read an article by relationship expert John Gottman. He said that happy couples return affection On a 1:1 ratio. That means for a touch from one, there is a touch back from the other. When my guy gives me a kiss on the cheek, I might grab his butt or touch the back of his neck. It doesn't have to be the same exact touch like a kiss for a kiss. Just a touch to close the loop and make a connection. 2
todreaminblue Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 i dont understand why i sort of feel, its something in her history maybe past experiences or lack thereof......a sort of validation thing maybe.....i don't expect affection so i don't get disappointed but when i do get affection, i see and appreciate the person who gives it.I give randoms hugs ....i dont expect them back and i have hugged non huggers and difficult people.......in a relationship i often give random appreciation for no good reason other than i feel like it, and i love to give.......i have mainly been with guys who have the random thing going too...surprise warm kisses(normally while i am talking passionately about something and out of the blue) and even affection when i am angry it happens...lol...cant stay angry for long even though i still try to stay angry.....things like that...makes me smile... i think expecting affection takes away the warmth of getting it......but thats me and i am a little different......give her a chance for her to settle a bit...is it early in the relationship???? i think her behavior shows a vulnerability and insecurity that i cant determine because i dont know her...always be honest with how you feel and try talking to her(have her feelings in mind when you do )..........deb
Author FrostBlaze Posted May 9, 2014 Author Posted May 9, 2014 Probably bad past experience, i might try and ask her. If i kiss her she can sometimes get frustrated, it's like she thinks i expect her to kiss back...i mean she feels forced to, by the way she acts and does it, but it doesn't seem natural. Soo i kinda "quit" in trying to initiate things(sometimes), i just let her do it, since she seems to be "fine" sometimes as opposed to me who is "fine" all the time. So whenever she feels like giving affection, i'm open xD. I think she has probs with her emotions, idk.
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 This is a classic case of passive aggressive behavior. She may very well have unresolved issues from past relationships that are causing her to react this way but then again she might just be young and immature and acting "bratty". Ugh. There is nothing worse than someone keeping a scorecard ESPECIALLY when it's your partner. Run! 1
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