richdownes89 Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 Hi all, this is a thread for those that is about looking for an answer that I'm not sure how to get or what it'll come to. I don't know how to explain, but I'll try it anyway, as that's the way these things work. So, let's start: There is a girl I have met at a hotel over the last two Christmases that I have been away to; she is one of two daughters of the owner (the other one isn't interested at all and so, this is about the other one). Her name is Lauren. Lauren and I do talk when she's at the hotel (which isn't often, because she has university commitments) but she is 'home' for Christmas, which is when I actually go to the hotel - family arrangements, not an excuse to see her. However, I saw her pre-Christmas, due to my parents' wedding anniversary, and I saw her and got talking to her again. Maybe that's luck more than design, but nevertheless, it was nice to see her. We got talking, as you always do, and I found out a couple of things when we were chatting. I already know about her parents, sister and recently, the family cat's name (not like it's major important, but you do like to know, so you can talk about the pet). Anyway, Lauren was talking to me and she disclosed her birthday was in May, which was a good three months away at the time of reckoning. She also told me that she didn't want to have any babies at all. Which means she may not want to be a mother. I can relate to that in some ways, but that's another matter (due to my older sister). That's personal, right? I didn't think girls were quite so open about things, unless they trust someone, right? Or is that interest? I don't know. But around the same time, she also offered me a shortbread (it's a biscuit thing, for those that don't know what it is) and she had one herself - without charge, without being put on our bill. Is offering me food like this something I should be watching out for? Like she wants to treat me to food, or similar? I know that she and I were talking and she seemed to enjoy that and didn't mind us talking. We even shared watching a couple of YouTube videos through my iPhone. Including some of the "romantic" ones in Titanic and Twilight! She went back to university the next day, so I didn't get to wish her goodnight/goodbye. Although she did spend the time, when she had to, or should have gone, she did stay. Albeit, she was talking to me/my parents and another guest couple and she didn't mind that. However, I have since found her on Facebook and got talking on-off to her on that via messages. I did add her but she hasn't accepted/declined about it. But during these messages, it was her birthday! And yes, I did remember that! I made her a little "card" on Photoshop and sent it to her. She really did appreciate it and thanked me for it. We've taken a break from messaging for a bit (as she's not a fan of technology) and so she can concentrate on her studies. I don't want to seem too keen, y'know, so I've let her off a bit. But I did mention the fact that she may have a boyfriend - which never gave any response (she also knows I don't have a girlfriend)! But I don't know what to make of everything. Is she interested in me or not? The private details about her not wanting children and her birthday is private and I don't think giving that away to just anyone would be unique, would it? I don't give my birthday away to just anyone. So can anyone help me out here? Something might be useful to know, or understand better. Thanks all. Richie.
Stillits Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 Did she just randomly mention she doesn't want babies? That seem a little out of the blue, perhaps some context would help. It's not necessarily something a woman would hide from anyone or only tell a person they trust. Family and children seem quite a popular conversation topic for women my age to bring up. As for her telling you her birthday - that is not private information at all imo, unless she told you her exact birthday plans (and this is coming from a very private person). About giving you the bread, well, it really depends on her personality I guess. Some people are just very generous and to them this is just a natural, polite gesture - for them its only natural to offer others. Other people are more frugal, and these people would probably only offer if they had some interest OR if they felt pressured. You have more insight into what kind of person she is. About facebook; I think that if she didn't accept your friend request she doesn't seem overly interested. I would never not add a guy I was interested in to be honest. Overall it sounds to me as if she is just being friendly, but there is only one way to know for sure. So ask her out.
Author richdownes89 Posted May 10, 2014 Author Posted May 10, 2014 Did she just randomly mention she doesn't want babies? That seem a little out of the blue, perhaps some context would help. It's not necessarily something a woman would hide from anyone or only tell a person they trust. Family and children seem quite a popular conversation topic for women my age to bring up. As for her telling you her birthday - that is not private information at all imo, unless she told you her exact birthday plans (and this is coming from a very private person). About giving you the bread, well, it really depends on her personality I guess. Some people are just very generous and to them this is just a natural, polite gesture - for them its only natural to offer others. Other people are more frugal, and these people would probably only offer if they had some interest OR if they felt pressured. You have more insight into what kind of person she is. About facebook; I think that if she didn't accept your friend request she doesn't seem overly interested. I would never not add a guy I was interested in to be honest. Overall it sounds to me as if she is just being friendly, but there is only one way to know for sure. So ask her out. She did just randomly mention it, without me asking if she had considered being a mother at all, although it might be because she has a cat and she feels that she is a mother to that cat in her own way. Some people who don't want human babies (and only fur babies) feel that is the way to be a mother. I had just mentioned that Valentine's Day wasn't successful for me this year and jokingly said that her father would give her own. And she mentioned that he doesn't do that, but if anything, it'd be from her cat, Toby. I know not many girls that don't really talk about their future, if they want families or not - most people are undecided due to a lack of jobs or anything, so how can they afford to bring a child into the world if they cannot provide it with everything it may need? And considering that she isn't a very open person, about her personal life, it is semi-private, so you don't get unwelcome attention (from unwanted admirers). The shortbread wasn't offered to anyone else, despite lots of people being around, including her colleagues and her mother/father and the receptionist. She could have eaten it herself, or left it to be reused (which happens a lot in hotel leftovers, according to the staff). I don't pressure anyone into anything, I often try to be more giving myself than anything. I don't assume anything is about me, or I am entitled to anything (unless proven different). I do know that she's open on a professional basis, but on a personal basis, she's kinda closed - that's why I say that her birthday details are a bit secretive, I don't think she wants everyone in her life (I'm kinda like that in some ways). She hasn't accepted, nor declined, which is the thing, but she is replying to my messages and being decent towards me - none of them are short or one-worded answers. Maybe the jury is still out on that, or maybe she is a bit confused with things due to my parents. Of course, if you're not sure about the parents, you get suspicious about the offspring, I guess. I'll just keep talking to her on-off and if she wants me in her life, she can. I just hope she knows I'm not one of these lads who sees her as a potential conquest. I don't think like that, I'm never going to be like that. Maybe when she gets to know me a little better, or more, she may change her mind. We will see, although I get on with everyone I need to - so maybe she's awaiting to see how things develop. Pushing will alienate her and others. Never good. Thanks anyway. Richie.
thefooloftheyear Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 Good grief..... Read threads like this and thank God im not so young anymore.. Its all kids immature garbage, bro...She is no different from the millions of others and neither are you...Just go along with it, or if its bothersome to you just dump her and focus on your life and your future... I dont know if its the answer you want to hear, but that is the truth...Ive been there, it all gets better as you get older... Good luck.. TFY
Author richdownes89 Posted May 11, 2014 Author Posted May 11, 2014 Good grief..... Read threads like this and thank God im not so young anymore.. Its all kids immature garbage, bro...She is no different from the millions of others and neither are you...Just go along with it, or if its bothersome to you just dump her and focus on your life and your future... I dont know if its the answer you want to hear, but that is the truth...Ive been there, it all gets better as you get older... Good luck.. TFY Sorry bro, there's not a lot I can do, without assumption and that isn't fair on myself or fair anyone else... But thanks for your insight into this and your help on the matter... I'm just distancing myself where I can, for everyone involved. Answers are for questions, regardless of the reality, I asked for the truth, I got it... I'm not going to hide or bury my head in the sand, because that's what we need - no point in avoiding it... Thank you for your best efforts my friend, as always. RD.
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