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It Gets Better

DontBreakEven

By DontBreakEven
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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DontBreakEven Established Member

DontBreakEven

Posted
Posted (edited)

Thank you to everyone on this forum, first and foremost.

 

I am exactly 4 months post break-up. I have been in this broken-hearted position quite a few times in my life, so I get it.

 

I feel like I have become enlightened finally. I truly now believe that our destinies are not tied to anyone who walks away from us, and that we are being protected and blessed in order to find what it is that we really want and need.

 

This particular break up had me at rock bottom. After 2 broken engagements in my first 10yrs of dating, I didn't know what to do anymore. I felt hopeless.

 

So I leaned into the hopelessness. I grieved for myself, and my hurt feelings. I did not fight them, I did not persecute them, I most certainly did not contact the person who was the cause of them in order to get relief from them. I instead listened to them.

 

I have truly found myself due to this breakup. I am seeing things now that I have never seen in my 31 years on this planet. It's quite unreal. I have stopped playing my own god in what happens and who I am supposed to be with. I know, and we all know, that we don't really and truly want someone who doesn't want us. That is THEIR loss. Look at it that way. Take that power back. Find yourself. You might be amazed at the things that start happening in your life when you truly do.

Edited by DontBreakEven
  • Like 5
Mr.Pine Established Member

Mr.Pine

Posted
Posted

I'm confused.

 

After reading your soliloquy, are you attempting to convince us...or yourself?

KaliLove Established Member

KaliLove

Posted
Posted
I'm confused.

 

After reading your soliloquy, are you attempting to convince us...or yourself?

 

That's messed up. She's posting a happy message (for once) and you're sh*tting all over it for no apparent reason. That says more about you than it does about her.

 

OP, I'm happy for you. :)

  • Like 1
Mr.Pine Established Member

Mr.Pine

Posted
Posted
That's messed up. She's posting a happy message (for once) and you're sh*tting all over it for no apparent reason. That says more about you than it does about her.

 

OP, I'm happy for you. :)

 

Incorrect. Just getting clarification.

KaliLove Established Member

KaliLove

Posted
Posted

Whatevs buzzkill. Get out of the bitter barn and play in the hay!

  • Like 1
Mr.Pine Established Member

Mr.Pine

Posted
Posted
Whatevs buzzkill. Get out of the bitter barn and play in the hay!

 

Whatevs? For reals? ;)

todreaminblue Established Member

todreaminblue

Posted
Posted (edited)

I am happy that you have found peace,what i have found out through introspection and personal soul searching through prayer through self analysis...is that one person cant be blamed for a break up......that life is short and you never know when time for you is going by year, the the week, then the day the hour then the minute ...then its gone and whatever you were last doing is what will count at the end.......i refuse for my last days to be in shades of blue...its not fair on me or anyone else who has brightened my life so much..people or even relationships ...that i have made a difference too or have made a difference to me....my heart saYS this, that when we go, we pass over with whatever is on our hearts, in our hearts and our thoughts are written.......recorded by the one and only, who knows us best ....i only want to take one thing with me......that being love .....even for the difficult people, even for the ones that really hurt me....i am not turning up on gods doorstep with woe is me...i know i am just as imperfect as them if not more so.........

 

i am going to take each day i am given and ill make a difference somehow.....i will fing a way..... and ill find much love while doing so...always have ....always will....and ill take the hurt too..found some of that too....and learn from it......and i might even find my guy or even better yet know of him already,....smilin.....i am not waiting for anyone......i havent got enough time left to sit at the train station and watch the trains go by ...i have a train to catch myself.......maybe ill drag the right guy right along with me.......nicely of course......:p and we can take each day as it comes.....how that day comes or goes isnt my decision its in gods plan for me.............good luck to go with you my friend.......may your train be full of smiles......deb

Edited by todreaminblue
sooshi Established Member

sooshi

Posted
Posted

DBE, I'm happy for you. :)

 

I was so sad when I first read about your situation. Two broken engagements. I've gone through one, and hope I truly won't have to endure a second one! I don't believe I will. :)

 

You cared so much about her, and that was so obvious from your first posts. You loved her and you did the best you can to be the best partner anyone could be to her.

 

I'm so glad that you're doing better. Like I've said, you're amazing and you deserve someone awesome and who truly wants to be with you! :)

  • Like 3
elseaacych Established Member

elseaacych

Posted
Posted

Glad to hear that things are looking up for you DBE. It truly is amazing what a change in perspective can do to help you get over a breakup. You feel like a walking revelation. Each revelation makes you stronger and better. Like a mighty fortress.

 

Hope you keep having good days from now on. Look forward, don't look back. The best is yet to come.

  • Like 2
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DontBreakEven Established Member

DontBreakEven

Posted
  • Author
Posted
I'm confused.

 

After reading your soliloquy, are you attempting to convince us...or yourself?

 

Lol. Huh?? Interesting and quite shocking that you took it that way. I'm not trying to convince anybody of anything. What would be the point of that? If you've ever read any of my posts, you would surely know that if I am feeling sh*tty, I am certainly going to be the last to hide it. I am trying to come back to a forum that has helped me over the years to give some hope to those still in the thick of extreme pain. People who feel like they may never feel happiness again. I have been there. I am emerging.

 

I am extremely happy right now. Quite possibly on my way to the happiest I have ever been in my life. Everyone would always tell me "self love. self love." I had no idea what that meant until now.

 

Am I 100% healed from my break up? No. I would hope not to be. I loved someone with all my heart, and for me, that doesn't just dissolve in 4 months. But this isn't about the breakup anymore. It's about me. I am still on what is probably going to be a never-ending journey of finding myself for the rest of my life. But I have just begun. And it's an extremely freeing feeling. I'm sorry you were not able to pick up on that.

  • Like 1
KaliLove Established Member

KaliLove

Posted
Posted

Eh, don't worry about grumpy guts up there. :)

  • Like 3
  • Author
DontBreakEven Established Member

DontBreakEven

Posted
  • Author
Posted (edited)
DBE, I'm happy for you. :)

 

I was so sad when I first read about your situation. Two broken engagements. I've gone through one, and hope I truly won't have to endure a second one! I don't believe I will. :)

 

You cared so much about her, and that was so obvious from your first posts. You loved her and you did the best you can to be the best partner anyone could be to her.

 

I'm so glad that you're doing better. Like I've said, you're amazing and you deserve someone awesome and who truly wants to be with you! :)

 

Thank you so much sooshi. I appreciate your active responses to all my posts. I did love her very much, and I did my best. I have no regrets, and I am taking all the positive as well as the negative from the situation and learning from it.

 

Visceral pain is such a good tool to use to grow. It gives such motivation, because you obviously want nothing more than to be rid of it! For me, personally, I have found that allowing it to become my friend rather than fighting it has been the answer. I let my all my terrible feelings sit with me for as long as they needed to this time. I did not react to them, I just sat with them and allowed them place within me.

 

Day by day, I started to smile more and more. It was eerie. And not only that, but day by day, I have been learning things and feeling things that I have never felt or thought of before. It's quite amazing, honestly. I have dug into my relationships with my family of origin and I am healing those while I still have time to. Even my relationships with my friends have grown. People are telling me that I have changed so much for the better since they've known me. And I feel that way about myself, as well. I used to be a half, searching for another half to make me whole. I feel that I'm on my way to becoming a whole on my own, someday eventually looking for another whole to compliment me.

Edited by DontBreakEven
  • Like 1
Mr.Pine Established Member

Mr.Pine

Posted
Posted
Eh, don't worry about grumpy guts up there. :)

 

Grumpy guts. I like it.

KaliLove Established Member

KaliLove

Posted
Posted
Grumpy guts. I like it.

 

COPYRIGHTED! Called it. You have to pay me when you use it in the future.

  • Like 1
Mr.Pine Established Member

Mr.Pine

Posted
Posted
I am extremely happy right now. .

 

If you're happy, I'm happy.

Mr.Pine Established Member

Mr.Pine

Posted
Posted
COPYRIGHTED! Called it. You have to pay me when you use it in the future.

 

Deal! [shake!]

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