jt27 Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 Vent here! I am starting to get really angry/hate my ex. It's been about 6 weeks since our break up and I am coming to the realization that she is most likely seeing someone else. In fact, I am sure of it. I am sure she has been shortly after our break up. I hurts like hell and makes me so mad. How could I mean so little to her after 3 years? She strung me along for months, then jumped on to what she thinks in greener grass. Damn her!! I hope she gets hurt as bad as she hurt me! Karma is b! So this is here for anyone to just let loose on their ex for doing you wrong.
FortunateSon Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 Not trying to stoke you flames of anger, but if she "jumped" into something that soon afterwards, there is a good chance she was connecting with someone while you were still with her. I was pissed when my ex "conveniently" let me know she was in a relationship 4 months after a 6 year relationship/engagement. Get mad, it helps!! 1
Mary Oak Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 I am pissed that she had time to deal with the breakup before she even left me or told me she was leaving!! I am mad that she had me to "be there for her" while she was distancing herself... I am learning that most people do this, it is unfair and dishonest. I also am pissed that almost every story I read on here that is a third party involved. This just sucks!
learning_slowly Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 90% of the time its because people are moving on to someone else. But ask yourself, would it be better that they had stayed with you and not loved you? Would it be better if they had stayed with you and cheated? You are better off, as now you have a chance to find somebody who really cares for you, with the added ability to look at yourself and reflect on your shortcomings and improve them if necessary. If you can't see how you can be improved, you maybe blind to your shortcomings, or it could have been you were not a good match and are better off apart. You can't do anything to help them now. They left you. You can only help yourself so forget about them. Live for yourself: Be the best you can be 2
Author jt27 Posted May 8, 2014 Author Posted May 8, 2014 I get that she probably found a new connection somewhere along the line (she was just starting a new job weeks before the break). I know that. I know what is involved. I am just doing this to vent. I know my short comings. I have done plenty of self reflection and do realize I am better off. I am working on myself and becoming a better person in preperation for my next relationship. That being said, she treated me like crap and didn't have the courage to break it off earlier. Instead, she did and said incredibly endearing things that she didn't actually mean. For that, I am angry. Quite frankly, I deserve to be. I will get past the anger but right now it feels good! Thanks guys for the input.
Kansas87 Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 I am pissed that she had time to deal with the breakup before she even left me or told me she was leaving!! I am mad that she had me to "be there for her" while she was distancing herself... My ex did that to me, too. It's so unfair. Then they're able to move on so quickly, while you're still trying to pick up the pieces of your heart. I hope I never do that to anyone.
melell Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 It fails me why it is so important to convince people that their ex was cheating. I think it causes unnecessary hurt for some people. Best to focus on being ok with having no answers imo. Anyway, I preferred the anger stages, there were only two for me that I can recall before I came right. 1
forbidden_love Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 I think the anger comes from them distancing themselves,looking after their heart, making sure they are ok and then WHAM suddenly you do not know what hit you over the head. I got so angry with my lover distancing himself that i actually kicked his car. He used to meet me as usual and then be unbelievably cold. I have never done this before. He just stopped kissing me and although we are still seeing each other LC because of the devastation of seeing each other every day and calls suddenly stopping, but he was trying to break up at his own pace. Seeing if he could resist me. The anger was overwhelming because he was not consistent.
Erlaad Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 90% of the time its because people are moving on to someone else. But ask yourself, would it be better that they had stayed with you and not loved you? Would it be better if they had stayed with you and cheated? You are better off, as now you have a chance to find somebody who really cares for you, with the added ability to look at yourself and reflect on your shortcomings and improve them if necessary. If you can't see how you can be improved, you maybe blind to your shortcomings, or it could have been you were not a good match and are better off apart. You can't do anything to help them now. They left you. You can only help yourself so forget about them. Live for yourself: Be the best you can be This. It took me seven months of pain and anger to realize it but this is the point. To OP and others that are venting, I warmly suggest you keep your anger focused on the "improving" version - i.e., be angry that you're in pain and heartbroken, don't be angry with your ex. Hate brings to the Dark Side. - Erl 1
Author jt27 Posted May 12, 2014 Author Posted May 12, 2014 I don't think she was cheating on me, she just moved on right after it ended. Like Mary Oak and Kansas said, she dealt with the break up druing the relationship while I was still around, loving her. I would never do that. Like loving said, she probably found someone else during this time to move on to. I am trying to use my anger to convince myself I don't need her. Sometimes it works, most other times I miss her like crazy. 1
forbidden_love Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 I know how you feel, I miss him and I am still seeing him.
RedZin Posted May 16, 2014 Posted May 16, 2014 I found out about it from my kids on Mother's Day. We have been divorced 6 months, but he was in a relationship with her during the last year of our 30-year marriage. My overwhelming reaction is anger at the moment. Anger at the way he treated me during that last year. I had no idea why he had so many complaints. I'd resolve one and another would pop up. I was so upset and confused. Finally, I threw in the towel, which was what he wanted. Now I'm pretty angry. It didn't have to go down this way. I feel he took a cowards way out - pushing the wife to file. However, it explains a lot. I thought I was going crazy there for a while. I was being gaslighted. It does feel somewhat good to have some of the mystery solved. I now know it was not my fault. That's some consolation, I guess. 1
Mondmellonw Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 My ex KIND of did this too. I mean, I broke up with him, but it seemed like he did it. Anyways. Hope u get better 1
Brokenguy22 Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 I was in the Anger stage but then I talked to someone who referred me to this Monk Ajahan Bhram(Youtube) and I listened to his talks and stories and realized it is all a part of life. It happens, don't be angry or bitter or sad just let it go. So much easier said than dont but it helps!
Jiivy Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 90% of the time its because people are moving on to someone else. But ask yourself, would it be better that they had stayed with you and not loved you? Would it be better if they had stayed with you and cheated? You are better off, as now you have a chance to find somebody who really cares for you, with the added ability to look at yourself and reflect on your shortcomings and improve them if necessary. If you can't see how you can be improved, you maybe blind to your shortcomings, or it could have been you were not a good match and are better off apart. You can't do anything to help them now. They left you. You can only help yourself so forget about them. Live for yourself: Be the best you can be I think the anger stems for their inability to communicate a problem, an unwillingness to even attempt working on things and ultimately - it IS wrong for them to use you as an emotional crutch whilst (ironically) they take the time to: a) Get over you b) Get in to someone else Of course it's not better they stayed and cheated. Nobody's suggesting that - nobody wants their partner to just be miserable in a relationship. It's the base cowardess that's a problem. And personally? In those circumstances? You've every right to be angry - but I agree that it shouldn't be something that owns you.
learning_slowly Posted May 17, 2014 Posted May 17, 2014 It fails me why it is so important to convince people that their ex was cheating. I think it causes unnecessary hurt for some people. I'm not saying it happens on every occasion, but I look at my life and my friends lives. The reason for most breakups has been other people. There have been instances where people have left not because of somebody else, but because they want to meet others, this I have noticed has usually been because they are addicted to the falling in love stage. 1
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