AnneT1985 Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 Hi y'all! How are ya doing? Question for y'all please and thank you! What does "being the bigger/better person" mean? I hear that phrase tossed around a lot...I understand it theoretically...but when I hear "be the bigger person" given out to others as advice...what does that even mean in practice? Thanks so much in advance y'all!! xx
Andy_K Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 Don't get drawn into petty squabbles. Don't bring up past misdemeanours. Don't seek revenge for any slights. Just focus on your own life and the things under your control. Choose your actions based on the positive results you expect to get, not being led blindly by your emotions and feelings. 2
gaius Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 It means you should eat **** and not do anything about it. Except wax poetically in a room by yourself about how much better you really are than the other person for not fighting back. 2
d0nnivain Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 I just gave this advice -- not in so many words -- to another poster. Her FIs buddy is acting immaturely in the days leading up to her wedding. My advice, ignore the guy; don't confront him about his petty attention grabs & detract from her enjoyment. There was a line in the film about Jackie Robinson, the 1st black baseball player. He wanted to fight back at all of the racism & hate that was being spewed at him. he complained that he felt weak & maybe the league would be better off with another player. One of the managers explained that he was perfect because he was strong enough not to respond, which was much tougher than fighting. 3
mercuryshadow Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 I think "bigger" must refer to having a strong enough moral compass and emotional intelligence to realize that having the last word or getting the last jab is not really going to solve any issues or win any battles. I admire those who it comes naturally to, as even though I often try to follow this rule, it's usually as I grit my teeth. 2
carhill Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 What does "being the bigger/better person" mean? I hear that phrase tossed around a lot...I understand it theoretically...but when I hear "be the bigger person" given out to others as advice...what does that even mean in practice? I prefer the advice to 'pick one's battles' as it connotes a more neutral candor than indicating one is 'bigger' or 'better' than another person by choosing the course of action I advise. Generally, we're all equals as human beings and approaching interactions in that manner goes a long ways to a positive outcome. Sometimes that means walking away. Sometimes asserting one's perspective. Sometimes it's a knock-down, drag-out battle. Depends. 4
M30USA Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 People with personality disorders often take advantage of those who try to be the "better person". They KNOW the person will not squabble and will give in to their demands, so they just increase their abuse and manipulation even more. If this happens to you as a result of being the "better person", the only solution is to go no contact.
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