Relationship self books and learning important lessons from a breakup

[Summerrose2013]

Ok, I admit, I'm an avid reader. I also love YouTube. I've found some great books and people this last month and wanted to share these, and ask anyone else to share their too please. Mine are from a womans point of view and I don't mean to offend any men but my ex was classic caveman.

 

If you have a kindle, you can download free samples of these books too - sometimes you get enough from the first chapter to give you a good kicking up the arse when you need it!

 

The No Contact Rule - Natalie Lue - BRILLIANT for expanding on what others have said on here about the NC rule and she adds a lot more besides. I love this writer, and her brilliant website too. She has also written Mr Unavailable and the Fallback Girl - I've yet to read this but the reviews were excellent.

 

Why Men Love Bitches - From Doormat to Dreamgirl - Sherry Argov - another writer I love - it's not actually about being a bitch, just being assertive, not being available the whole time, and having your own life - not making your OH your hobby/reason for living.

 

It's called a breakup because its Broken - Greg Behrendt - I've only got a sample of this so far, but it looks interesting.

 

To Date a Man, you need to Understand a Man - the Keys to Catch a great guy - Gregg Michaelsen.

This book could have been written about my ex - it was uncanny. And Greg replied to my emails. He is genuine. He also has other books, including one about texting, but this was my favourite. Greg actually sent me this book for free after I read one of his other books and contacted him. I'm now reading his book The Social Tigress - this is a sign of me moving forward, looking ahead to new and better relationships and no longer looking back at the past.

 

And YES I've also watched that Correy bloke on YouTube - I don't like a lot of his attitude to women BUT I do like his hard hitting approach.

 

I know I've made a LOT of mistakes but I intend to learn from them. I found this brilliant article on the web: I've got myself a notebook and I'm working through these each night, putting pen to paper, and it's helping me. I hope you can let it help you too:

 

In times of emotional crisis, there is an opportunity to grow and learn. Just because you are feeling emptiness in your life right now, doesn’t mean that nothing is happening or that things will never change. Consider this period a time-out, a time for sowing the seeds for new growth. You can emerge from this experience knowing yourself better and feeling stronger.

In order to fully accept a breakup and move on, you need to understand what happened and acknowledging the part you played. It’s important to understand how the choices you made affected the relationship. Learning from your mistakes is the key to not repeating them.

 

 

Some questions to ask yourself:

• Step back and look at the big picture. How did you contribute to the problems of the relationship?
  
• Do you tend to repeat the same mistakes or choose the wrong person in relationship after relationship?
  
• Think about how you react stress and deal with conflict and insecurities. Could you act in a more constructive way?
  
• Consider whether or not you accept other people the way they are, not the way they could or “should” be.
  
• Examine your negative feelings as a starting point for change. Are you in control of your feelings, or are they in control of you?
  

You’ll need to be honest with yourself during this part of the healing process. Try not to dwell on who is to blame or beat yourself up over your mistakes. As you look back on the relationship, you have an opportunity to learn more about yourself, how you relate to others, and the problems you need to work on. If you are able to objectively examine your own choices and behavior, including the reasons why you chose your former partner, you’ll be able to see where you went wrong and make better choices next time.