maramessi Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 Hi there, I am going to try posting on here as I am really not sure where to turn. But of course I will continue to think happy thoughts because happy is what I want to be I have been alone the majority of my adult life. Over the years I have had several girls that I have refused to get into a loving relationship with because I am simply scared, at least I am sure that is the reason. When I start to get butterflies over a relationship I have simply ended it, leaving myself and the girl hurt and covering myself in that bubble I have been in for many years now. I am 33 years old and 16 months ago I started to get involved with a girl who is now 21 years old. Age is not a problem for me, nor her. Recently after continuing to see Debbie (the girl from 16 months ago) I just felt so comfortable with her and thought to myself, I am not going to lose her because of negative thoughts and nervousness. So I went to spend the weekend with her there and it was amazing, we connected so much and leaving her was very difficult. So I have been training my mind to being in a relationship, one that I want may I add, and lo and behold I have started to think terribly negative and I am fighting the default reaction which is to end it, something I cannot do to myself (or Debbie). I also took on the fear head on by adding on facebook that we were in a relationship, something I've never done before. Last night I was in turmoil, phoning my friend and simply breaking down. I was crying uncontrollably. When these thoughts get into my head I feel so helpless and alone that I think that my mind will truly get the better of me. I am countering any negative thoughts straight away by recognising what I will lose if I let my negative thoughts get the better of me. I need some guidance, really badly because I am going back down to see her tomorrow for a few days Hope some on here can point me in the right direction on how I handle this. Thanks, David
d0nnivain Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 Get some counseling. You shouldn't have had such a strong reaction to changing your FB status. There has to be a reason for this & fixing this is beyond the help available to you on a message board. Meanwhile, look around your real life for examples of people who have healthy strong relationships. She if you can learn anything from them
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