Raena Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 I wish I could say all of this to her, but I can't. It's best for me to just try to ignore her. I've seen some threads on here lately that made me really stop and think about what it is that she has done and how much it hurts me. How much what they BOTH did hurts me. I can't say all of this to her, but I wish I could. SO instead of actually ranting to her, I'm going to do it here... get it ALL off my chest and then maybe I can move on and let it go. Some of this is old stuff, but it still bothers me. To the OW from my situation.... First of all, please stop lying to yourself. You KNEW he was with me when you started sleeping with him. You KNEW he was lying to me to be with you. So that means that you KNOW that he's capable of deceit. Most importantly, you are NOT my child's mother. You have zero say in how he is raised, what's good for him or whether or not he gets to spend the night at his father's house. Do NOT over step your boundaries here. (Everything listed her is in random order as I remembered it from over the course of the last year) - do NOT text me after living with my ex for 3 weeks and ask me why I won't let you two have my son for the weekend. It's not your business. Ask him your questions, not me. In addition, it's NOT appropriate to have a child lose his parent and be forced to meet the girl his father cheated on his mother with in one fell swoop. - stop stalking my twitter page and then posting about it - stop stalking my facebook page and then whining that you are blocked - stop googling me to find out information on me and then posting about it - stop writing about me on his facebook page, his family and I are still friends. They see what you write and tell me about how crazy you look. - stop writing about me on twitter - stop bragging that he bought you a ring and asked you to marry him. It was a blatant lie and everyone knows it but yet you persisted. Funny how months later and you still don't have that ring on your finger. - do NOT tell my child he is fat. He has hypothyroidism and this is effecting his weight. He is super sensitive to it and you hurt his feelings. - you are NOT my child's babysitter and you never should be. He went there to see his FATHER, not you. It saddens him that his father didn't care enough to take time off of work to spend it with him on the very first weekend he was allowed to go there for the night. You should be encouraging him to spend time with him alone instead of inserting yourself in the situation. - stop texting me. I blocked you but I can tell when you text. I can see that you send at least one message a day to my phone checking to see if you are still blocked. Why do you feel the need to constantly try and contact me? I don't know you, I don't care to know you and I have asked you repeatedly to leave me alone so I can heal. - don't slash his father's tires so that he can't leave without you to go see his son - stop bragging about what a great mother you are to me. You ditched your two kids in another state, left them with their drunk father to come live with your lover. You aren't a great mother. No good mother does that to her children. (and then stays away for how many months has it been? 4? It would have been 6 had my ex not dumped you repeatedly, I know) - learn to speak respectfully to me. I did NOTHING to YOU. YOU two broke my family up. His actions HURT me. His actions are hurting his child. You are acting like a crazy psycho in all of this. - don't post comments in a public forum about what my vagina looks like, how saggy my breasts are, how "fat" you think I am, how dirty you seem to think my house is, or anything else that you couldn't possibly know about me, aren't true or are just downright disgusting and mean to say. Why in the world were you two discussing my vagina anyway? Didn't you find that to be a bit absurd and gross? - it's been 6 months. I kicked him out and he's with you. WHY are you STILL obsessing about me? Why can't you just leave me alone? - stop blaming your breakups with him on me. I have nothing to do with what he chooses to do. There must be a reason for it but it's NOT me. - Stop messaging me on fb from your fake fb accounts. I know it's you. My blocked list just keeps getting longer and longer. - Why did you drive to my house and take pictures of it and then use it to blackmail my ex into continuing the affair with you? - Why did you think it was ok to sleep with another woman's man and then point your finger at her in blame? Has it never occurred to you that if he lied to me to be with you that he probably lied to you about everything he said about me? It's NOT my fault he chose to cheat. I did NOTHING to deserve it. All I ever did was love him and he bent over backwards to hurt me. Doesn't that tell you something about who he is? - the one weekend I trusted my ex to take his son over night... you took a picture of my son and then tweeted it to my ex "YOUR son". What do you mean by that? He's MY son too. Don't forget that, ever! The reality is... he's NOT YOUR son and you shouldn't be taking pictures of him and posting them on the internet. How dare you! - Why did you contact me on twitter a year ago and then lie to me about who you were? You must have wanted me to know the truth about what you two were doing, why couldn't you just be straightforward and honest about it? Instead you blatantly lied to me and then proceeded to spend months ranting and raving about me, about him, about the situation in such a way that I was never really sure WHAT was going on. If you had the balls to sleep with my man, you should have had the balls to be honest about it. - Don't you dare tell me that I need to "get over it". You helped to destroy my family and you are continuing to help to hurt my son in the process. You should be ashamed of yourself for hurting a little boy. I'll "get over it" when I'm damn well ready to... but you interfering and harassing me on a regular basis is NOT helping. - No I'm NOT jealous of you. I know exactly what he is like. I know exactly how he's treating you and what there is in store for you down the road. You don't know it yet, but I do... He is a creature of habit and he isn't going to change no matter what you do. It doesn't matter how thin you stay, how much you cook for him, how clean you keep the house, how well you perform in the bedroom. Eventually, he's going to tire of you and he'll do the same to you that he did to me, to his ex-wife, to every woman he's ever been with. This is a pattern of behavior for him and he isn't going to change no matter what you do. If anything, I feel a little bit sorry for you. I'd have even more empathy for you if you'd stop acting like a whack job. Open your eyes little girl. He's not who you think he is. Ok, I feel much better now. I really needed to get all of that off my chest. I'm sure there's more because there was SO much stuff that happened and is STILL happening. I'm doing the best I can to let it all go and move on and be happy but this crazy woman just goes out of her way to remind me constantly of what he did to me. I don't ever respond to her comments and actions. I haven't said anything to her other than to simply state that I wish for her to leave me alone, yet she persists with her craziness. If anyone actually reads all of this... thank you for taking the time. I know it's long. 10
revelations Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 Awesome rant... For some reason I was indifferent to my xWW lovers. However they chose to stay away from me. Maybe it has to do with me being 6'2" and 240lbs and looking like I walk off the sets of "Sons of Anarchy" has something to do with that. However I can understand your pain, that psycho is keeping the fire alive for you. It is amazing the evil some people enjoy spreading. I wish you all the best, hopefully you can soon be rid of this nutcase. 4
Ailsa1983 Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 (edited) Wrong post ha Edited May 8, 2014 by Ailsa1983 Wrong post
Author Raena Posted May 8, 2014 Author Posted May 8, 2014 Awesome rant... For some reason I was indifferent to my xWW lovers. However they chose to stay away from me. Maybe it has to do with me being 6'2" and 240lbs and looking like I walk off the sets of "Sons of Anarchy" has something to do with that. However I can understand your pain, that psycho is keeping the fire alive for you. It is amazing the evil some people enjoy spreading. I wish you all the best, hopefully you can soon be rid of this nutcase. Yeah Revelations... I read your rant and felt the need to finally make my own. I've been putting up with this crap for far too long. Best wishes in your journey forth as well...
Zippity-Doo-Dah Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 You get a standing ovation and several whistle calls for that one! You go, girl. You are the better person - and better off without the creep. I am so sorry for your son, though. Poor kid. I know it's exhausting to do the right thing all the time - but keep it up. You sound like you've handled a really crappy situation as well as anyone could. Keep ranting here or anywhere else you need to, it really helps to get it off your chest! Have you ever taken one of those kickboxing classes? I bet you could get a lot of good from kicking the crap out of something and pretending it's his butt/her head - a vicarious butt-kicking would feel really, really good! 1
jnel921 Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 (edited) Raena, you are obviously still very hurt by the situation. I have mentioned before that the social media stalking will not help with your healing. I don't think it's a good idea to stay friendly with your H family. When there is an event he will be there with the OW. That is usually the case. He chose her and now she is a part of your child's life whether you care for it or not. You shouldn't teach your child to have negative feelings towards her as it is not the child's fault that his dad left the home. If you know he will not be there then do not send him over. The OW will say and do what she wants and you shouldn't give it any energy by repeating it or getting upset. Your H is there...it is up to him to check her and that situation if your child feels like he is being insulted. The less she knows about you the better. Like you said she doesn't know you. But you seem to know a lot about her and her internet escapades. That should stop. You need to focus on yourself and getting to a place where they both don't matter. When my xH made that choice many years ago, best beleive that I chose me. I spent no time worrying about them or any nonsense she was saying or what he was doing. There was no internet...thank god. So I only had to deal with phone calls that I easily hung up as I didn't need to waste any time or energy speaking to her about stuff that no longer mattered. I had two babies. That was my focus and motivation. I did well for myself and he didn't. That is just how it is sometimes. We can't change a persons heart or mind. Try to keep yours clear of the anger and memories of what is already said and done. Focus on creating a better life for yourself. Once you are in a better place you will attract the right person and eventually be the right person in a successful relationship. Best of luck. Edited May 8, 2014 by jnel921
No Limit Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 I hope you post about their breakup. That crazy chick will either commit suicide over it, drug herself to death or hunt him with a gun. 2
Author Raena Posted May 8, 2014 Author Posted May 8, 2014 Raena, you are obviously still very hurt by the situation. I have mentioned before that the social media stalking will not help with your healing. I don't think it's a good idea to stay friendly with your H family. When there is an event he will be there with the OW. That is usually the case. He chose her and now she is a part of your child's life whether you care for it or not. You shouldn't teach your child to have negative feelings towards her as it is not the child's fault that his dad left the home. If you know he will not be there then do not send him over. The OW will say and do what she wants and you shouldn't give it any energy by repeating it or getting upset. Your H is there...it is up to him to check her and that situation if your child feels like he is being insulted. The less she knows about you the better. Like you said she doesn't know you. But you seem to know a lot about her and her internet escapades. That should stop. You need to focus on yourself and getting to a place where they both don't matter. When my xH made that choice many years ago, best beleive that I chose me. I spent no time worrying about them or any nonsense she was saying or what he was doing. There was no internet...thank god. So I only had to deal with phone calls that I easily hung up as I didn't need to waste any time or energy speaking to her about stuff that no longer mattered. I had two babies. That was my focus and motivation. I did well for myself and he didn't. That is just how it is sometimes. We can't change a persons heart or mind. Try to keep yours clear of the anger and memories of what is already said and done. Focus on creating a better life for yourself. Once you are in a better place you will attract the right person and eventually be the right person in a successful relationship. Best of luck. Thanks for your response. I did indicate that some of the things I ranted about were old... that includes most of the social media stuff. I do hear about it periodically from well meaning friends who want to make sure I have the evidence I need to ask for her to not be around my child... it isn't something I do anymore. In fact, I've blocked my own access to twitter through a website blocker. I can't even get to it and she's blocked everywhere else. I don't like to hear about it because it does anger me but I do need to know if she's saying or doing inappropriate things regarding my child. It's a damned if I do and damned if I don't situation. As for your statement that if I know he isn't going to be there, then don't send my son there. Well, I didn't know he wasn't going to be there. He told me he wasn't working, he also told me he wouldn't bring her with him when we did the exchange, he also lied about some other things and told my son to lie to me when he returned home. I can't trust a single word that comes out of his mouth. So as it stands right now, my son isn't going there again. I went to the court house today and picked up papers to start the custody proceedings. Once it is decided in court how this will be handled then I'll have little to no say in it. For now, I can say no and I choose to do so. The thing that really irks me about this particular person is that she won't STOP bothering me! I've done everything I can to get her to leave me alone and she keeps on and keeps on in every way that she can. Next thing you know she'll be buying burner phones to text me with too so that I'll have to change my number. It won't do me any good if I have to give it to him though because she got my number from him to begin with. I just want her to stop with her nonsense, leave me alone and stay OUT of the parenting decisions. Yes, I'm still hurting. I cover it up most of the time, the only people in my life that know how much this still hurts me is my best friend and my mother. No one else has a clue how much this has broken me down. Well, other than all of you here on LS that is... it's all here for anyone to see. Again, thanks for your response. I feel better already for having gotten it all off my chest.
snappytomcat Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 great heartfelt post,sorry for all the bull crap they have put you through,i wish you a great happy life the xow in my situation is super crazy too,i wish for her to just leave me alone too
Author Raena Posted May 8, 2014 Author Posted May 8, 2014 I hope you post about their breakup. That crazy chick will either commit suicide over it, drug herself to death or hunt him with a gun. Yeah, I have a feeling you are right.
Goodbye Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 I wish I could say all of this to her, but I can't. It's best for me to just try to ignore her. I've seen some threads on here lately that made me really stop and think about what it is that she has done and how much it hurts me. How much what they BOTH did hurts me. I can't say all of this to her, but I wish I could. SO instead of actually ranting to her, I'm going to do it here... get it ALL off my chest and then maybe I can move on and let it go. Some of this is old stuff, but it still bothers me. To the OW from my situation.... First of all, please stop lying to yourself. You KNEW he was with me when you started sleeping with him. You KNEW he was lying to me to be with you. So that means that you KNOW that he's capable of deceit. Most importantly, you are NOT my child's mother. You have zero say in how he is raised, what's good for him or whether or not he gets to spend the night at his father's house. Do NOT over step your boundaries here. (Everything listed her is in random order as I remembered it from over the course of the last year) - do NOT text me after living with my ex for 3 weeks and ask me why I won't let you two have my son for the weekend. It's not your business. Ask him your questions, not me. In addition, it's NOT appropriate to have a child lose his parent and be forced to meet the girl his father cheated on his mother with in one fell swoop. - stop stalking my twitter page and then posting about it - stop stalking my facebook page and then whining that you are blocked - stop googling me to find out information on me and then posting about it - stop writing about me on his facebook page, his family and I are still friends. They see what you write and tell me about how crazy you look. - stop writing about me on twitter - stop bragging that he bought you a ring and asked you to marry him. It was a blatant lie and everyone knows it but yet you persisted. Funny how months later and you still don't have that ring on your finger. - do NOT tell my child he is fat. He has hypothyroidism and this is effecting his weight. He is super sensitive to it and you hurt his feelings. - you are NOT my child's babysitter and you never should be. He went there to see his FATHER, not you. It saddens him that his father didn't care enough to take time off of work to spend it with him on the very first weekend he was allowed to go there for the night. You should be encouraging him to spend time with him alone instead of inserting yourself in the situation. - stop texting me. I blocked you but I can tell when you text. I can see that you send at least one message a day to my phone checking to see if you are still blocked. Why do you feel the need to constantly try and contact me? I don't know you, I don't care to know you and I have asked you repeatedly to leave me alone so I can heal. - don't slash his father's tires so that he can't leave without you to go see his son - stop bragging about what a great mother you are to me. You ditched your two kids in another state, left them with their drunk father to come live with your lover. You aren't a great mother. No good mother does that to her children. (and then stays away for how many months has it been? 4? It would have been 6 had my ex not dumped you repeatedly, I know) - learn to speak respectfully to me. I did NOTHING to YOU. YOU two broke my family up. His actions HURT me. His actions are hurting his child. You are acting like a crazy psycho in all of this. - don't post comments in a public forum about what my vagina looks like, how saggy my breasts are, how "fat" you think I am, how dirty you seem to think my house is, or anything else that you couldn't possibly know about me, aren't true or are just downright disgusting and mean to say. Why in the world were you two discussing my vagina anyway? Didn't you find that to be a bit absurd and gross? - it's been 6 months. I kicked him out and he's with you. WHY are you STILL obsessing about me? Why can't you just leave me alone? - stop blaming your breakups with him on me. I have nothing to do with what he chooses to do. There must be a reason for it but it's NOT me. - Stop messaging me on fb from your fake fb accounts. I know it's you. My blocked list just keeps getting longer and longer. - Why did you drive to my house and take pictures of it and then use it to blackmail my ex into continuing the affair with you? - Why did you think it was ok to sleep with another woman's man and then point your finger at her in blame? Has it never occurred to you that if he lied to me to be with you that he probably lied to you about everything he said about me? It's NOT my fault he chose to cheat. I did NOTHING to deserve it. All I ever did was love him and he bent over backwards to hurt me. Doesn't that tell you something about who he is? - the one weekend I trusted my ex to take his son over night... you took a picture of my son and then tweeted it to my ex "YOUR son". What do you mean by that? He's MY son too. Don't forget that, ever! The reality is... he's NOT YOUR son and you shouldn't be taking pictures of him and posting them on the internet. How dare you! - Why did you contact me on twitter a year ago and then lie to me about who you were? You must have wanted me to know the truth about what you two were doing, why couldn't you just be straightforward and honest about it? Instead you blatantly lied to me and then proceeded to spend months ranting and raving about me, about him, about the situation in such a way that I was never really sure WHAT was going on. If you had the balls to sleep with my man, you should have had the balls to be honest about it. - Don't you dare tell me that I need to "get over it". You helped to destroy my family and you are continuing to help to hurt my son in the process. You should be ashamed of yourself for hurting a little boy. I'll "get over it" when I'm damn well ready to... but you interfering and harassing me on a regular basis is NOT helping. - No I'm NOT jealous of you. I know exactly what he is like. I know exactly how he's treating you and what there is in store for you down the road. You don't know it yet, but I do... He is a creature of habit and he isn't going to change no matter what you do. It doesn't matter how thin you stay, how much you cook for him, how clean you keep the house, how well you perform in the bedroom. Eventually, he's going to tire of you and he'll do the same to you that he did to me, to his ex-wife, to every woman he's ever been with. This is a pattern of behavior for him and he isn't going to change no matter what you do. If anything, I feel a little bit sorry for you. I'd have even more empathy for you if you'd stop acting like a whack job. Open your eyes little girl. He's not who you think he is. Ok, I feel much better now. I really needed to get all of that off my chest. I'm sure there's more because there was SO much stuff that happened and is STILL happening. I'm doing the best I can to let it all go and move on and be happy but this crazy woman just goes out of her way to remind me constantly of what he did to me. I don't ever respond to her comments and actions. I haven't said anything to her other than to simply state that I wish for her to leave me alone, yet she persists with her craziness. If anyone actually reads all of this... thank you for taking the time. I know it's long. Wow, I'm sorry for what you've been through. My exH is with someone new, which is fine, we've been divorced for sometime. His new gf has really involved herself in the lives of my daughters and this brings out my fangs...and she is a lot more appropriate than your H's woman. Can you meet with a counselor together? I had to do this with my H around parenting issues. You did a good job venting your anger. It sucks. 1
jnel921 Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 Hi Raena, My XH's OW was obnoxious. In the end I got an order of protection against her and my xH. He had to pick up my kids every other weekend from a central location and only got 3 hours every other week. It was this way for some time until they broke up and he came to his sense somewhat. You have very right to protect your son. You have every right to be there or pick him up if your H lies about being around. Take a video, voice record your encounters if it is this serious. I have been there too, so I understand. Your H needs to handle that situation. If he doesn't by all means do whatever is necessary. 2
Author Raena Posted May 8, 2014 Author Posted May 8, 2014 Hi Raena, My XH's OW was obnoxious. In the end I got an order of protection against her and my xH. He had to pick up my kids every other weekend from a central location and only got 3 hours every other week. It was this way for some time until they broke up and he came to his sense somewhat. You have very right to protect your son. You have every right to be there or pick him up if your H lies about being around. Take a video, voice record your encounters if it is this serious. I have been there too, so I understand. Your H needs to handle that situation. If he doesn't by all means do whatever is necessary. Eventually I may have to get an OOP as well if she doesn't stop. My ex has also been an arse in all of this but he hasn't threatened me or gone out of his way to constantly humiliate me. Not lately anyway. He DOES need to handle this situation but he's so childish that he actually gets off on it all. I think he encourages her to say and do some of these things. He admitted to me that she has issue with me because of the way he talked to her about me... but he's done nothing to change it. He just keeps letting it happen.
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