Author BriInWonderland Posted June 9, 2014 Author Posted June 9, 2014 Every other man on this planet has been kinder to you, no? Yea if that were the truth I probably wouldn't have so many issues. Actually none of the guys have treated me any kinder than this. I seem to be attracted to *******s and people who only want to use me. My ex of 5 years started dating a girl two weeks after we broke up, broke up with her and decided to tell me he's getting married to his old high school sweetheart who was engaged to someone else. I think point I just feel completely broken and inadequate and so scared of being abandoned again.
umirano Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 Then stop dating for a while, build up your self esteem, adjust your people picker and understand that when a RS is over, i.e. after break up, you don't owe them any explanation and they don't owe you an explanation. Why do you even care who he breaks up with or who he wants to marry? Of course that gives you pain. You're not in their lives anymore, they don't respect you anymore. Interfering just has to hurt you. You got to let go of things and people. Holding on to someone who doesn't want you is a guaranteed path to pain.
Author BriInWonderland Posted June 9, 2014 Author Posted June 9, 2014 Where I am now the odds of me dating are slim to none anyway so dating won't be happening. I don't know how to build myself up honestly. I feel so broken. I know I shouldn't care about someone like my ex but I can't help it. I've always been this way. I live in a foreign country and making friends is difficult I have no family I'm lonely
NC-Thomas Posted June 9, 2014 Posted June 9, 2014 Where I am now the odds of me dating are slim to none anyway so dating won't be happening. I don't know how to build myself up honestly. I feel so broken. I know I shouldn't care about someone like my ex but I can't help it. I've always been this way. I live in a foreign country and making friends is difficult I have no family I'm lonely I feel your pain. You will be alright, it takes time. Your not alone in this. I'm in two weeks NC, after a 2 year RS. Was a month in LC, but it only made me feel worse. Try to be your own best friend, appreciate who you are and know your worth. Your worth somebody that gives 100%, not 5%. I've already had 1 date so far, and im having another one this week. Im not planning to fill the void or go into a rebound. But for me it's a way of distraction and having a fun time. Find your own way in having a distraction, go out and try to have fun. Get a new hobby, work out. Hug a tree, start running, take a walk. NC is the way to go, give it some time. Hang in there ! 1
Author BriInWonderland Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 I finally saw him today. And I was secretly hoping that maybe he'd see me and realize how much he loves me and how much he misses me and that he'd remember all the love we have shared together. But no it didn't happen. Instead I asked him "how's life without me?" To which he responded "normal." I asked if he was dating anyone and he told me he wasn't. So I asked "well can I come visit you sometime" to which he replies "you'll get me in trouble" so I asked him "who are you sleeping with then?" And he kept saying things like "I don't have sex, what is that? And other round about things" so I asked who is she? And he replies "you don't know her." To which I respond "so you are sleeping with someone?" And he says "no." I don't even understand why I love him or miss him. I need help I don't wanna use someone to fill the empty void that he's left me but at the same time I'm so lonely. I want to just stop living and feeling and just put myself in a bubble. I'll never meet anyone and I'll never be loved again.
David87 Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 Ohh but you will be loved again sweetie, but first stop talking to this jerk. He doesnt deserve a nice girl like you.
Author BriInWonderland Posted June 11, 2014 Author Posted June 11, 2014 I really don't think I will. I've been through breakups but this one is just killing me. I can't forget him or get him out of my mind. To be honest I think he is a narc (not just saying it out of spite). But when we talk (yea yea I know NC) he always talks about himself....and it's so weird. I told him I was going to climb Mt.Fuji this summer and he completely ignored it and started talking about his last vacation and the places he visited...I don't think that's normal...is it?
Chi townD Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 I climbed Mt. Fuji! Make sure you buy a burn stick! Those are really cool to have!
Elle1975 Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 I climbed Mt. Fuji! Make sure you buy a burn stick! Those are really cool to have! You did or you're kidding? 1
OwMyEyeball Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 I really don't think I will. I've been through breakups but this one is just killing me. I can't forget him or get him out of my mind. To be honest I think he is a narc (not just saying it out of spite). But when we talk (yea yea I know NC) he always talks about himself....and it's so weird. I told him I was going to climb Mt.Fuji this summer and he completely ignored it and started talking about his last vacation and the places he visited...I don't think that's normal...is it? You're not grieving until you're leaving. There's a part of you that doesn't want to let go very similar to that little part in gambling addicts who just want to throw one more roll of the dice. For every hundred disappointments there's that one wonderful moment of bliss. For every hour of suffering you endure you get a minute or two of regenerating hope that somehow, someway, you'll make things just "work". NC is supposed to be painful. It's also supposed to be followed strictly. It's really an all-or-nothing approach. Either you rid yourself entire of all contact - that includes not just direct contact, but also just about anything at all that offers a reminder. No Facebook, no photos, delete his contact info, avoid places he frequents, avoid places you would frequent as a couple and anywhere else that may spark vivid memories of your relationship. Breaking contact in any way rips the scab right off. There will be pain. There will be crying. There will be anger and jealousy and self-doubt. There will be moments of depression. But you DO pull through provided you also give yourself some leeway, find support from TRUE friends and family, and make small steps towards improving yourself. You will start to feel better. And you will start to see this guy for who he really was and unfortunately may still be. It's over. And he's NOT your friend. NO friend would knowingly cause such hardship and suffering. Tell him you aren't ready to be friends and will contact him when YOU are ready and to cease contacting you for no reason other than allowing you time to heal. If he puts ANY pressure or conditions on you for that decision then it's for his own selfish satisfaction. NC is supposed to be a B****, but it's the quickest way through the pain. Best wishes. 1
Chi townD Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 (edited) You did or you're kidding? LOL! No, I really did! It's a bit if a climb and you do get tired, but ultimately, it's not that hard. The burn sticks is your walking stick that you can buy at the bottom. Each station that you reach they burn a brand (or stamp) in the stick indicating that you've reached that particular station (But, you have to pay something like 200 Yen for each stamp, not a big deal.) There are 10 stations and the signs are a little misleading. You'll walk past one sign and then at the next sign it will indicate that you're at 200 meters since the last sign. But, you walked a good forty minutes. So, there's no way you only walked 200 meters. What I discovered is you only ascended 200 meters UP. and it's not the length of the trail (I probably walked 3 kilometers but only went 200 meters up) Does that make sense? Getting to the summit is cool. You're at a top of a mountain and looking down on clouds and you're not in an airplane! I think the climb is like 12,395 feet. Even if it's summer, bring warm clothes with you. Put them in a backpack if you need them. Edited June 11, 2014 by Chi townD
Elle1975 Posted June 11, 2014 Posted June 11, 2014 LOL! No, I really did! It's a bit if a climb and you do get tired, but ultimately, it's not that hard. The burn sticks is your walking stick that you can buy at the bottom. Each station that you reach they burn a brand (or stamp) in the stick indicating that you've reached that particular station (But, you have to pay something like 200 Yen for each stamp, not a big deal.) There are 10 stations and the signs are a little misleading. You'll walk past one sign and then at the next sign it will indicate that you're at 200 meters since the last sign. But, you walked a good forty minutes. So, there's no way you only walked 200 meters. What I discovered is you only ascended 200 meters UP. and it's not the length of the trail (I probably walked 3 kilometers but only went 200 meters up) Does that make sense? Getting to the summit is cool. You're at a top of a mountain and looking down on clouds and you're not in an airplane! I think the climb is like 12,395 feet. Even if it's summer, bring warm clothes with you. Put them in a backpack if you need them. That's awesome.. I wish I would!
Author BriInWonderland Posted June 20, 2014 Author Posted June 20, 2014 Getting to the summit is cool. You're at a top of a mountain and looking down on clouds and you're not in an airplane! I think the climb is like 12,395 feet. Even if it's summer, bring warm clothes with you. Put them in a backpack if you need them. I'm so excited about it! I really can't wait I've started training. I'm really excited about the burn stick.
Chi townD Posted June 20, 2014 Posted June 20, 2014 (edited) Just pray you get up there on a good day because the view is well worth the climb. Oh, and buy a can of air. I thought I was in decent shape and I needed to take a hit off the thing a couple of times. The air does get thin. And they hit you up with everything. 100 Yen to use the toilets. Hundreds and even thousands of people show up everyday to do the climb. So, unfortunately, they've turned climbing that mountain into more like a tourist trap. Sometimes you hit congestion with the climb and you have to wait in line. That brought down the experience for me. BUT! That view at the summit made up for it. I mean it's beautiful and a little scary. So, even with the tourist trap feeling to it, I would still recommend the climb to anyone. I mean, come on! It's Mount Fuji! One of the most famous mountains on the planet! Tallest mountain in Japan! That will be something you will always remember for the rest of your life and something to tell your grandkids! And after you conquer Fuji, set yourself up with your next adventure. Go out and have another one! It's a big world out there. Experience it! LIVE THE ADVENTURE!!!!! Edited June 20, 2014 by Chi townD 1
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