beach Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Married cheated very often choose another married person because they are likely to make less demands and have less time to "require getting together". Often they don't have a problem with a quickie in an odd location. They may also not require much attention/maintenance from their married person because their life/schedule simply doesn't have room for lots of "dating time". In other words = it's more convenient - and it's easy for the lazy people. Less time getting together = less likely to get caught. Link to post Share on other sites
beatcuff Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 back to OP opportunity: married tend to hang out with married. AND your partner is less wary of you hanging with someone married than single. why because we project our thoughts to others (i wouldn't so they would never). risk: both have 'skin in the game'. one has as much to lose as the other. time: hooking up once a month make sense to both because they have busy lives. and/or a 'quickie' is all they really need to satisfy them. a single person may demand more. BTW i have a MW friend who only has A with singles --- "because they are always on call and ready to fit MY schedule". 2 Link to post Share on other sites
gettingstronger Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 My husband said the fact she was married was the key. He felt she would accept the terms better because she claimed not to want to leave her marriage. Boy was he wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Fluttershy Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 back to OP opportunity: married tend to hang out with married. AND your partner is less wary of you hanging with someone married than single. why because we project our thoughts to others (i wouldn't so they would never). risk: both have 'skin in the game'. one has as much to lose as the other. time: hooking up once a month make sense to both because they have busy lives. and/or a 'quickie' is all they really need to satisfy them. a single person may demand more. BTW i have a MW friend who only has A with singles --- "because they are always on call and ready to fit MY schedule". The first part was my husband. We are at an age where most of the people we hang out with are married. We were in mutual circles with his MW and her husband. She was there, he was there. They became friends, the became innapropriate in their speech. They hooked up, repeatedly. While them hanging out made me uncomfortable a single person I would have said no to because I would have felt the single woman would e at risk of falling in love with my husband. I should have been far more concerned with what was right in front of me. poor boundaries but no more. Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Thanks for the responses guys/gals. many of the answers make some sense. I guess my brain just isn't as warped as my husband's or this woman's. What's weird is how she was called out on it on a public Facebook post and won't admit she had an affair with my husband or that she's having one again with a married man, even though her ex has proof. She just kept posting stuff about how faithful she was and how her husband was always cheatng and she never was. She has three kids. Her oldest is about 17 and pregnant. Of course she wouldn't admit in public about the affair, but to keep egging on her ex by calling him a cheater on a public post so he starts accusing her was just weird. It's all kind of odd to me. It shouldn't bother me, but it pisses me off to no end that I am a non-person to her. I don't even exist. she tried to destroy the life of my son and me and walked away without an ounce of guilt. and now she's doing it to another woman without even caring. I had to stop looking at her public pages because I knew it wasn't healthy and that my husband and I needed to focus on us, but also because I was tired of her telling the world they could kiss her ass because she is amazing and a good person. Who on earth would be posting about affairs on facebook? Link to post Share on other sites
Realist3 Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 back to OP opportunity: married tend to hang out with married. AND your partner is less wary of you hanging with someone married than single. why because we project our thoughts to others (i wouldn't so they would never). risk: both have 'skin in the game'. one has as much to lose as the other. time: hooking up once a month make sense to both because they have busy lives. and/or a 'quickie' is all they really need to satisfy them. a single person may demand more. BTW i have a MW friend who only has A with singles --- "because they are always on call and ready to fit MY schedule". Several good points here. I never sought out an affair, it was just someone who was in my circle of people I regularly hung out with. It wasn't until after the fact that I was SOOOO glad it was not a single person. Link to post Share on other sites
Fluttershy Posted May 9, 2014 Share Posted May 9, 2014 Who on earth would be posting about affairs on facebook? Just recently a friend had one of her friends post a very passive aggresive comment that directly related to her situation. It was a total guilt trip and the woman eveb used her daughter to dig the knife in. The post itself wasn't nast unless you knew the full situation. I think she was using facebook as a platform to garner sympathy and get people on her side. Probably the same thing here. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Thanks for the responses guys/gals. many of the answers make some sense. I guess my brain just isn't as warped as my husband's or this woman's. What's weird is how she was called out on it on a public Facebook post and won't admit she had an affair with my husband or that she's having one again with a married man, even though her ex has proof. She just kept posting stuff about how faithful she was and how her husband was always cheatng and she never was. She has three kids. Her oldest is about 17 and pregnant. Of course she wouldn't admit in public about the affair, but to keep egging on her ex by calling him a cheater on a public post so he starts accusing her was just weird. It's all kind of odd to me. It shouldn't bother me, but it pisses me off to no end that I am a non-person to her. I don't even exist. she tried to destroy the life of my son and me and walked away without an ounce of guilt. and now she's doing it to another woman without even caring. I had to stop looking at her public pages because I knew it wasn't healthy and that my husband and I needed to focus on us, but also because I was tired of her telling the world they could kiss her ass because she is amazing and a good person. Some people think they can deflect the attention by pointing out others deficiencies. But to some it's still obvious they are engaged in a manipulative tactic. Link to post Share on other sites
janedoe67 Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Some people think they can deflect the attention by pointing out others deficiencies. But to some it's still obvious they are engaged in a manipulative tactic. SO true. The old, "You are worse than me so I am fine" tactic. Link to post Share on other sites
Morgoth Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 1. Affair sex is, new, exciting, raunchy and uninhibited unlike at home. 2. Filling the void. Long term marriages get boring. 3. Something is lacking even with a regular sex life, connection, intimacy, communication, etc. I prefer single women to married women for availability purposes. I can say with certainty there is a large population of women that prefer married men. Why, low maintenance, not needy or clingy, no time for a relationship, I suppose the list of why is long. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted May 10, 2014 Share Posted May 10, 2014 Her posting about it on social networks is simple desperation. People don't believe but hey, it's her trouble. The only thing that somehow saddens me to read is that her 17 year old daughter is pregnant already, I guess she's one of those special social cases then... sad really. Link to post Share on other sites
suckerpunch55 Posted May 11, 2014 Share Posted May 11, 2014 Please tell me too, it is just beyond belief for me. Only just realizing how common this is, it's like a cancer in a relationship when it happens. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 My friend thinks married people get bored and as are easy targets for minimal attention. I think many married people specifically CHOOSE someone else married because the affair person won't have high demands on time/energy spent outside the marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
Charlie Harper Posted May 12, 2014 Share Posted May 12, 2014 You have two cake eaters that are content with what the limited situation provides. There are no demands. I don't have to explain to my MW why I can't talk to her tonight. She doesn't have to explain why she had to cancel at the last minute. We don't have to worry ourselves to death over some fake 'happy' photo or post on social media. It is all understood. The level of drama from unrealistic expectations are erased. We both have the same issues. Holy smokes !!! quoted for being so exact… A between M people happen because of age and the playing field is more level ..as simple as that Link to post Share on other sites
atreides Posted May 13, 2014 Share Posted May 13, 2014 My friend thinks married people get bored and as are easy targets for minimal attention. I think many married people specifically CHOOSE someone else married because the affair person won't have high demands on time/energy spent outside the marriage. This is so true of affairs and how so many mistake the feelings they have as love when in an affair. Standards are lower for A's as the AP does not have to qualify for the "whole of life" just the vacation part of life. Exactly as you put it with time/energy... they only want a vacation. Link to post Share on other sites
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