Eternal Sunshine Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 The guy that I have been seeing told me that sometimes he gets scared because I'm too nice to him. He's never had anyone that treated him so well and with so much respect and it makes him feel like running away sometimes. Said he used to women who are demanding and not as respectful. Has anyone else ever encountered this. Do guys prefer b*tches? I have no respect for guys that prefer b*tches.
carhill Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 OP, this kind of experience isn't uncommon, as people are the product of their genetics, socialization and life experience and each of us is different. The good news here is that this man is communicating clearly about how he feels. Wish him well. Apparently, your styles are different enough that he felt it important to communicate this to you. I would write this off to a timing thing and move on if you're not satisfied with the interaction or don't see it going somewhere positive. Is this the man you wrote about in this thread? My goal is to get a sense of timeline, relevant to your statement of him sharing that he thinks he could 'fall for you' at some point. Lastly, did he propose any process to work through his fear? Before letting this go, ask him about that. Listen.
sagetalk Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 Do guys prefer b*tches? No, but this joker does. Find a guy that likes you and who you are.
AJinlove Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 I did ask him and he said no one he has ever been with has treated him in the nurturing way or with the respect that I do. It makes him afraid that because I'm so nice he will end up hurting me and makes him want to run away but he is going to go with the flow and see how the relationship goes. I advise you do the same; go with the flow for a month and see where it leads you. Have fun in the meantime and do not get too attached <= it is too early in the relationship.
hatem10 Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 Hey, I wouldn't say guys prefer 'bitches' but they sure want someone who respects themselves. This guy probably wants to know if you would walk away from him if he ****ed up. He doesn't want to be able to get away with murder or he'll lose his respect for you. Respect yourself Joe
todreaminblue Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 had a discussion about this just yesterday...lol...with my mum...i am a nice person too and I like to help people......so i tend to find guys that need fixing or who have been mistreated by others......and some guys who aren't used to nice dont appreciate nice...and therefore nice gets hurt but what can you do ...change become harder not respect and nurture...change what you believe in ...or just find a guy who deserves to be with you as a friend, as a boy friend and for sure a future husband that loves your nature....you have to just hang with nice people who bring out that side of you and appreciate your worth...... being a bitch is easy .....hardening your heart is easy .......being soft isnt easy if you are intelligent enough you know the risk is high you will get hurt.....to continue to be soft is good self esteem........its not low self esteem.....its not easy to put your heart on the line.....especially if you have been hurt before......i think its more like jumping with no safety net.....takes courage to be nice and all you need to find are people who recognise nice isnt being a doormat and that being nice isnt a weakness but a strength like no other..its not low self esteem, far from it..being a bitch is normally a mask...being nice is going in naked no masks no protection from being hurt.......i would have to say people and in particular guys who appreciate and understand what nice is actually all about, are rare and a real treat to know.......best wishes....deb
spiderowl Posted May 10, 2014 Posted May 10, 2014 I do think that guys need to feel there are boundaries and that they are dealing with a real person who is tough enough to stand up to them. They push the boundaries and if you bend, rather than speak up for yourself, they kind of don't respect that. It's a bit like striking a match: the match won't strike unless the surface is resistant. Trying to strike a match on a soft or soggy surface is a bit pointless and weird, whereas if the flame flares up you step back and view it with respect. I'm not talking about fighting and flaring up in anger, more having spirit and being fun and challenging. While guys might boast they want their fantasy girlfriend to pander to their every need, they really wouldn't respect such a girlfriend and would get bored very quickly.
Recommended Posts