Zanzibarbarian Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 My g/f and i have been going out for 3 months and she just recently stopped doing anything that she used to do with me. She used to play with me and tickle me and just hug me or kiss me out of the blue, but now she does nothing. She hardly makes eye contact with me even and won't even speak to me in the car like she used to. Yesterday i asked why she no longer does these things and it caused a lot of tension. She said she feels like she has to provide constant entertainment for me, but wouldn't go further into details. I asked do you just not wana talk about it and she said not really. She makes me feel like she doesn't want me there with her and when i asked her if she didn't she shook her head no and said i want you here. I later told her i love you and she replied with a smile "I love you too". I've prayed about it and talked to friends and i just don't know what to do.This has been going on for a week i think and it's stressing me out. I've gotten to where i go to bed thinking of her, going to sleep thinking of her, dreaming of her showing me affection and then waking up upset that she doesn't do that anymore. I really want things back to the way they used to be and i have no idea on how to do that. I tried so hard last night to get her to be affectionant with me just a little, but i got nothing. I've become the giver who gets nothing back and i really don't wanna lose her. I love her so much and the thought of losing her kills me inside. Please if anyone has experienced this help me! I'm in desperate need of advice.
alphamale Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 Originally posted by Zanzibarbarian I really want things back to the way they used to be and i have no idea on how to do that. I tried so hard last night to get her to be affectionant with me just a little, but i got nothing. I've become the giver who gets nothing back and i really don't wanna lose her. I love her so much and the thought of losing her kills me inside. Please if anyone has experienced this help me! I'm in desperate need of advice. OK mr. ZANZIBARBARIAN, listen and listen good. When females start doing this it means they are either interested in another guy or getting ready to exit the relationship. She is showing by her actions that something is majorly wrong. DOn't listen to what she says, look at her actions. her word mean nothing here. got it???? What u need to do is back off and don't treat her that great, become a bit of a dick and stop giving so much. She is not treating you good so you need to do the same to her. This is the only way she'll come around. The nicer and more attentive you are to her the less interested she will become. And i can almost guarantee you that if you don't do EXACTLY as I say you will lose this woman.
imjustagirl Posted February 8, 2005 Posted February 8, 2005 I've gotten to where i go to bed thinking of her, going to sleep thinking of her, dreaming of her showing me affection and then waking up upset that she doesn't do that anymore. I really want things back to the way they used to be and i have no idea on how to do that. I tried so hard last night to get her to be affectionant with me just a little, but i got nothing. I've become the giver who gets nothing back and i really don't wanna lose her. I love her so much and the thought of losing her kills me inside. Please if anyone has experienced this help me! I'm in desperate need of advice. Perhaps she's feeling like she's the only one in this relationship that's trying.....try throwing some lovy-dovy emotion towards her. Make her feel like a princess. Personally, I find it tiring when I have to do all the lovy-dovy back rub/scratch/hug, how was your day, (oh your not going to ask about mine), yes, I love you..oh, another video game...niiice.. Not that my boyfriend is a permanent dick, but sometimes, when I start to pull away like your girlfriend is doing....is not because I'm interested in someone else or ready to exit the relationship....it's because I'm tired of being the one that has to make him feel like a king, when I feel like the town hobbit. Sometimes, a girl just wants to feel protected and safe and shown she's loved (not by gifts and fancy dinners or a night of passion). When she knows that she's loved, and you show it to her, things will change and if you aren't showing it, girls go quiet...or at least I do.
very-confused-girl Posted February 8, 2005 Posted February 8, 2005 Alphamale seems to be a little bit spiteful She can have zilion of reasons why is acts this way and doesnt have to be necessairly lack of love. It can be some hormonal thing, some times she can be more sensitive, sometimes she is a cold fish. I am a bit cold to my boyfriend at the moment as well. We have some big fight about 3 months ago and at the moment I have exams at school, my grandfather died and I kind of work it off on him, which is not fair. But there is still remaining in me the pain from the fight either. Be nice to her for a while and if you see no results, talk to her that you noticed she was cold and whats up with her, but dont get defensive. If this is going to take a long time, she is going to be unfriendly then tell her that if she has some problems you are happy to help her but it does not make sense to you why is she so cold and tell her if she is going to be this mrs. princess you are not going to put up with it for very long.
suave115 Posted February 8, 2005 Posted February 8, 2005 I agree with alphamale on this one. You've already asked her if something is wrong or if she wants to talk about it, so you've demonstrated that you care and love her. I think you should back off and make her wonder about you and sweat a little bit. Yes, it's a game, but then again you've only been dating for 3 months, so you are still testing the waters, so to speak.....
WalkingTall Posted February 8, 2005 Posted February 8, 2005 Originally posted by alphamale What u need to do is back off and don't treat her that great, become a bit of a dick and stop giving so much. She is not treating you good so you need to do the same to her. This is the only way she'll come around. The nicer and more attentive you are to her the less interested she will become. And i can almost guarantee you that if you don't do EXACTLY as I say you will lose this woman. How can being "a bit of a dick" and not treating her that great help? Isn't that going to compound the problems... If she is losing affection for this guy, doing that is not going to help... playing hard to get may work when people are courting, but in a relationship it may get taken as the unspoken mutual ending.
Hund1976 Posted February 8, 2005 Posted February 8, 2005 How long has she been acting like this, if its only a few days you could chalk it up to moodiness, but if it goes past a week or two then I would say its the start of a serious problem. If you've been showing affection and she's not giving any back then I would agree with alphamale that she's probably losing interest.
Author Zanzibarbarian Posted February 15, 2005 Author Posted February 15, 2005 Well she's gone now...she told me she that we had haf the talk about her wanting some more time to herself and the whole deal about us going to far in some physical aspects. I guess i just didn't give her enough time alone. If i would have just changed one thing i could still be with her, but oh well. I really truely loved her and now i'm alone. Thanks for the help though guys...btw this all happened a week ago from today. I'm doing better, but not by much.
alphamale Posted February 15, 2005 Posted February 15, 2005 Originally posted by Zanzibarbarian I guess i just didn't give her enough time alone. If i would have just changed one thing i could still be with her, but oh well. sorry ZANZI, don't smother women, they hate it. always remember that when dealing with women that less is actually more.
lost_in_chgo Posted February 15, 2005 Posted February 15, 2005 90 day rule. Trial period is over. Time to move on. She's dumping you and doesn't know how, so she is trying to make you do it. Start dating the hottest girl you can find as soon as possible. Best to dump her and tell her you found someone prettier. hehehe
Mary3 Posted February 15, 2005 Posted February 15, 2005 Well I was going to tell you that its a CLASSIC sign of someone who is no longer interested,...no longer loving...no longer making eye contact and not enjoying being with you but sadly your last post confirmed it. I dont know if you need more emotional closeness than she did but she apparently has decided that she does not need you anymore. I wish you the best and PLEASE read this site ....everyday...if you can....and remember to have your own life the next time so you dont make the other person feel they are EVERYTHING to you. Devastating results for those of us who thought that was the way to be...
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