BlueNight Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 I've previously written a thread about how my behaviour has ruined my LDR. I get to see my boyfriend every 4-6 weeks. For the past few months things just haven't felt 'right'; my problem is that this feeling is inside me every other day...sometimes I have no reason to start arguments, but I'm so insecure about him wanting to leave me that, ironically, I push him away by constantly interrogating him about whether he's going to cheat. So we have trust issues. And I'm very insecure. It's not 100% my fault, as occasionally he has admitted to not putting his all into the relationship, and finding long distance difficult to cope with, he finds it hard to fully show his love through Skype, but doesn't always try to change this. I guess my behaviour hasn't made him feel appreciated though. Now he's asking for a week's communication break. He says he still really loves me, he just needs time to 'evaluate' the relationship. I'm fully committed to changing my behaviour, now that I realise I'm losing him. I'll even go to a therapist (I should anyway for low self-esteem). But I really, really don't want to lose him, to never see him again. Things are good when we're physically together. I don't want him to turn round after this week and say it's completely over forever. However, things haven't been good recently...I don't want to stop trying but I'm wondering if there comes a point where you should just stop. I don't want to though and it would devastate me. Thanks for reading
Frank2thepoint Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 I'm sorry to hear you guys are having a rough time. Since you've admitted to being insecure, pushing him away, this has affected him. But him pulling away and not showing his appreciation for you through Skype is definitely compounding the situation. Even though you two are in a long distance relationship, your situation is no different if you two were in the same town, and saw each other on a daily basis. Lack of trust on your part will affect the relationship. There is a strong possibility your boyfriend may come back in a week and tell you he no longer wants to continue with the relationship. This is a possibility that you need to be prepared for. Hopefully, the break will help both of your reconnect and work on the relationship. Regardless of the outcome, since you know you are insecure, you should definitely visit a therapist and work on yourself. Do not use the therapist as a coercion for your boyfriend to continue being with you. My suggestion is tell him that you are going to work on yourself, but you would still like him to be part of your life just like you want to be part of his. Don't tell him that you will be in shambles without him, because this places undue pressure on him, such that he is your sole redeemer. Just ask for his patience and continued support, nothing more, nothing less. 1
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