avoforastig Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 How many messages is ideal before asking to meet a person from OLD sites? I usually find the third message, if I initiated contact, seems ideal. I've also tried using the second message. Sometimes profiles are pretty minimal and there isn't much to talk about, but I don't want to appear to eager. On the other hand, I assume any response would indicate they want to give it a try. Any thoughts?
AdrianCrawley Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 How many messages is ideal before asking to meet a person from OLD sites? I usually find the third message, if I initiated contact, seems ideal. I've also tried using the second message. Sometimes profiles are pretty minimal and there isn't much to talk about, but I don't want to appear to eager. On the other hand, I assume any response would indicate they want to give it a try. Any thoughts? You assume wrong. If you can't get girls in the real-life, you won't get them online either. OLD is just a tool, it's not a chick-bonanza.
PegNosePete Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 Between 3 and 8 depending on the person and how the conversation is going. Never ask to meet on the OLD site. I say I'd like to speak, give my phone number and say call me or text me yours and I'll call you. Then when you're speaking, ask to meet. It's much easier to arrange a time/place by voice than messages back and forth, it confirms the person is real, and serious about meeting.
stateofgrace Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 I, personally, prefer to exchange a few messages online first, and if I feel like I want to hang out with the person, then I'd prefer to text a bit before a date. However, I don't like to text longer than a week if I plan on meeting the person, otherwise you end up wasting time. But, I find I'm a little more comfortable going into a date without actually knowing the person when I've talked to them a bit more. With OLD, it's important to know a bit about the person before meeting them IMO so that you don't end up a lampshade in someone's apartment.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 The only way I'll meet a guy from OLD is: messagetextphone call(s)meet With serious prospects who know what they're doing, this is always the course they have taken as well. 3
soccerrprp Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 The only way I'll meet a guy from OLD is: messagetextphone call(s)meet With serious prospects who know what they're doing, this is always the course they have taken as well. For me, a phone call prior to meeting is a must.
Babolat Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 For me, a phone call prior to meeting is a must. The phone call option is 50/50 for me. Sometimes I like the suprise of hearing their voice for the first time when we meet. I don't want to discount someone becaue of something I hear in their voice, or don't like in their voice. Though I do agree, a phone call is a good idea.
Author avoforastig Posted May 7, 2014 Author Posted May 7, 2014 The phone call option is 50/50 for me. Sometimes I like the suprise of hearing their voice for the first time when we meet. I don't want to discount someone becaue of something I hear in their voice, or don't like in their voice. Though I do agree, a phone call is a good idea. I rarely actually use a pre-phone call as I'm a busy professional and usually seek other busy professionals. I do fond it difficukt to find lots of topics to discuss when there are profiles with little substance. Any good message topics that aren't a bore? I hate asking boring questions about where people are from, etc?
d0nnivain Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 Everyone is different. I wanted a few e-mails / messages & at least 1-2 phone calls before a first meet. Some people want to jump in immediately.
Andy_K Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 I find it's not so much the number of messages, but the content of them. If you've both found out a bit about each other and asked a few questions etc, then you need to exchange numbers and move things on to the next level. If you've just got general rambling banter it's likely to take more messages to get enough of a feel for each other. I rarely have bothered with a phonecall before meeting, usually a date is set up over text and that's it, but everyone is different. I've always agreed when a phonecall is requested, and there's much less chance of a girl flaking out after speaking to you on the phone, but it hasn't made any difference at all to whether it actually goes anywhere. If anything, it seems more likely to work out without that step for me.
Ruby Slippers Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 For me the phone call is mandatory, because it's a good way to gauge intellectual compatibility. I read recently that a difference in IQ of more than 10-20 points is almost always a relationship-killer. I'm a brainy girl, and I need a brainy guy. The way he writes is the first big clue. The way he talks is the second. 1
Legatus Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 I met someone just after a week (around ~100 online messages).. but then she suddenly stopped all contact even though we were talking after the meeting. On the other hand I've been talking to a girl for almost 9 months and only last week we finally had a phone conversation (not much of a phone-talker but I manages to spend 2 hours on the phone yey!) In other words, it depends I guess. With the first girl I really wanted to see if we have the same connection in real life as online and we had (quick meet-up turned out to be a long day walk).. I don't think a phone call is necessary to be honest, however it does help and bridge the gap between writing and having a real conversation.. but that varies
Babolat Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 I met someone just after a week (around ~100 online messages).. but then she suddenly stopped all contact even though we were talking after the meeting. On the other hand I've been talking to a girl for almost 9 months and only last week we finally had a phone conversation (not much of a phone-talker but I manages to spend 2 hours on the phone yey!) In other words, it depends I guess. With the first girl I really wanted to see if we have the same connection in real life as online and we had (quick meet-up turned out to be a long day walk).. I don't think a phone call is necessary to be honest, however it does help and bridge the gap between writing and having a real conversation.. but that varies 100 messages? 9 months? I'm no judging you, this feels extreme, for me.
Art_Critic Posted May 8, 2014 Posted May 8, 2014 When I was doing OLD I liked to be having sex by the 3rd message I would never meet someone without speaking with them on the phone and if the conversation doesn't flow then there would be no meet up and the conversation has to last more than a couple of mins.. we are talking compatibility here.. I'm a talker...
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