itsabiguniverse Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 So recently I met this guy through a popular dating app and when we were matched up, he messaged me asking about me about myself and everything. After a few sort of "get to know you" messages he suggested a lunch date some time after spring break, which was a couple weeks away. I said yes and we got off the app and started texting. He added me on social media and everything. I asked him for his snap chat name and he added me on it, but when I sent him a couple of general snap chats saying Hi:) and things like that he never responded. I thought it was fishy but I ignored it. He went on a lavish vacation over the break and texted me a couple times during and right after he got back, and we met up for the first time in early April. He took me out to lunch, paid for me, we talked about ourselves, and I couldn't have thought a first somewhat blind date could have gone any better. We had a lot in common and even talked to each other in similar ways. He kissed me on the lips when he brought me back to my apartment though, and after that I said "get out of the car and give me a hug" kind of playfully, and then he kissed me again on the lips..which I was not expecting. After that, I texted him thanking him for taking me out and he replied saying no problem, you're fun:) and lets do this again sometime. I wasn't wanting to kiss on the first date but I tend to fall for guys easily and when he leaned in, I didn't want to deny him. I ended up going to an event at his frat house at his school later in the week, and I slept over because he could not drive me back because we would both be drinking. I wanted to go to the event with him because I liked him so far and wanted to spend more time with him. He told me I could sleep on his futon in his room or whatever I was comfortable with, so I thought he was setting some respectable boundaries. When we were hanging out at the event he kissed me in front of everybody a couple times..and when we ended up sleeping in his bed together (and doing some things but not sex) he was SO cuddly with me. He would rub my shoulder, kiss my forehead, play with my hair and just talk to me. He offered me water all throughout the night and we laughed and talked, and when we would fall asleep and sort of wake up for a second to switch sleeping positions, he would kiss me on the lips or cheek or forehead and then switch positions. He would look me in the eyes and kiss me and once when I was talking he sweetly shut me up by kissing me. After this day, we continued to hang out and I would sleep over at his place a couple times a week. We watched the same funny shows and laughed at similar things. He would pretty much always text me first, and he even went away one weekend to Coachella and while he was wasted there for three days, he texted me every day he was there. He called me boo once, and told me to be careful when I was drinking with my friends, and he would send me lots of winky faces....but I just ignored that. I told him I work with kids at a daycare center and he said oh wow you'll have to tell me more about that sometime:) We ended up having sex a few weeks after we had met each other. I knew it was soon but it felt right to me....and I have only slept with one guy in my whole life, my ex boyfriend of a year who I was extremely close with. And I trusted this new guy because a week or so before that he stated that he didn't want to pressure me into having sex, and I told him how sweet he was being and yes I wanted a little more time. And I have never seen a guy be so into me or so sweet. After we had sex he held my hand once and let me hold on to his arm sometimes when we'd walk around. As time went on he still definitely seemed interested but maybe not as much. He didn't invite me to a formal event his school was having and I assumed it was because they were going to bars and I was not 21 yet and he is 21. I'm 19 by the way. He didn't really text me that weekend though. I hung out with him one last time this Sunday. He definitely seemed distant and I was texting my best friend the whole time because I was so confused and didn't know what to do or say. We hung out though and watched tv, and slept in his bed together (no sex) and he didn't even put his arm around me. When he took me back to the train station (I stated taking the short train ride to his school because he didnt have time always to pick me up...) I asked him if he was okay because he seemed distant. He told me he was pretty tired and that seemed like a good excuse because he had been drinking for three days in a row before. He didn't kiss me when I got out of the car though, and he always would...he just said bye and kind of smiled at me, waiting for me to get out of his car. I texted him after he left, saying I was so ****ing confused and what did he want. He basically told me he thought I was starting to get a "boyfriend" vibe from him and he didn't want to mislead me into thinking that was what he wanted. He said he wasn't looking for anything serious right now. I blew up at him over text and stood up for myself, saying things like how could you be so sweet to me and open up to me and make me feel happy and how could you not see how you could treat someone like that without the slightest thought you may be leading them on. He told me he thought it was obvious what he wanted, he said, I'm a senior about to graduate. I thought it was obvious. He said he wouldn't text me anymore because I told him to never talk to me again if he was just going to use me and that I was not that kind of girl. I said I thought I made that obvious to him when I told him I had only been with one guy. But all he would say was that he didn't mean to mislead me, and he talked very *******-like in the messages, saying things like, think whatever you want about me, it doesn't matter to me. When I asked him if he liked me in the beginning and he just changed his mind or something he told me he liked hanging out with me, but he said he had been in relationships before and he preferred casual dating, not something super exclusive. He said more than once that he "didn't mean to mentally **** me up" and that he wasn't lying when he said he wouldn't mind if I wasn't ready for sex. I kept asking him for answers and he told me after a few messages that we can't do anything about it now and for me to not text him anymore. I called him a ****ing ******* and that's where it ended. Sorry for the long post and thanks to all who read, it really means a lot to me. I am pretty inexperienced when it comes to these things and I just wanted someone who seemed like we would make a great match to like me and pursue me when he seemed very very interested. This entire charade lasted for a month. I met him early April and yesterday it ended. My best friend and my brother picked up on the bad vibe from him though, because I would always go there to visit him and he wouldn't come here to visit me. But I knew he legit had a very busy schedule and had meetings to go to at his school and chapter meetings for his frat, I had seen him go to them. Anyways, my problem right now is I can't get him out of my mind. I know his mannerisms, (which i now see how stuck up and egotistical he kind of is), all about what he likes and how he lives his life, about his past, his friends and family, and what he's doing this summer and next year. For him, I'm sure he'll forget about me and care less and that bothers me. But I became attached to him, the second guy I've ever given myself to (twice total) who made me think he was head over heels for me the first few weeks, and then it suddenly trailed off. I feel secure in routine things and structure, and it had come to be part of my week to visit him on Tuesdays and Sundays and an occasional Friday. And now it's over and he treated me like he didn't care at all How do I get over something like this...? I'm definitely hurt and somewhat shocked this is what he wanted from me. I never thought I'd have to deal with something like this, ever. Any tips or words of advice or stories to make me feel better....thank you so much
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