Shindig Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 Relevant thread: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/470265-needing-time-myself-my-relationship TL;DR My other half is unable to meet my fundamental need for me to have privacy and have time to myself. I'm planning to end things, but life is in the way. I'm writing my dissertation and getting time to decompress by myself has been a nightmare. I did some IFS (Internal Family Systems Model - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia) with a friend and determined that my exile is my desire for a more supportive partner. My exhaustion and frustration at writing my dissertation has made that voice SO much louder in being frustrated at having to tell my other half what to do, how not to upset me, cleaning up after him and on top of it having him martyr himself every time I actually get a need met. My manager voice knows he's a good guy and wants me to stay because I might be able to help him. I know this is a crummy reason for staying in a relationship and I don't plan to stay. He's on notice that I'm disengaging from the relationship and due to stress as an intervening factor I will revisit the decision once I'm finished with my thesis work in a month. We have to move 20 days after that (the lease is up) and I suspect we won't be moving together. I'm anxious about caring for our four adopted animals without him (and being the crazy lady with all the animals), but I'm suspecting it'll be easier without a human child (him) to look after as well. He's unemployed and I suspect he'll move back with his parents. Any words of wisdom?
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