TaxiGaL Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 Ok So I will try not to write a mini novel. I'll get right into it : In February of this year I signed up for an online dating website; it was totally on a whim and it wasn't even the really popular ones like match.com or OKC. It was one of those google adverts on the side that nobody pays attention to. So I signed up not really thinking anything of it just maybe it would be fun to talk to different people and right away I got lots of messages; of course I thought it was from lots of scam artists who would probably want money but to make a long story short I got contacted by a guy from Sweden. We eventually started emailing each other and we were having really good conversations through email. We emailed each other for about 2 months. Of course during this time I made sure I wasn't get catfished, so I really believe he is from Sweden. Through our conversations I have found that I really like him and now I want to see where this goes and if we progress further into a relationship. The problem is I don't know if he is that interested in me because another month and a half has passed and he really doesn't flirt via email, he never asked to Skype or IM me. I had to move the conversation from email to instant messaging. I know you're probably saying I should have skyped already but he did offer his Skype Id so that tells me he is actually the person he says he is. Anyway I chose to start IM because I want to take it slow and frankly I'm a bit nervous since I have never done anything like this before. I read on the internet that Swedish med are very shy and don't make the first move. So my question is (finally): Is he interested in me or just being Swedish? I kind of feel like I am his pen pal, but he contacted me first and he also said that he likes me but I'm just not feeling that he wants to move to another level, maybe it is a cultural thing. I am in the US btw. Are there any Swedes out there who can give me insight into the mind of a Swedish male. Thanks
TAV Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 I'm not a Swedish male but do you honestly believe that half of an entire nation consists of shy men who never take the initiative? Births in Sweden must be rare Seriously, I have daily contact with our Swedish branche and they are just normal people. How did you exactly check you are not being catfished? How old are you and why do you think it is a good idea to invest so much of your time in a man who lives halfway across the world and does not seem interested in talking on the phone with you, let alone meet you? 1
Do_The_Herp Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 (edited) I'm not a Swedish male but do you honestly believe that half of an entire nation consists of shy men who never take the initiative? Births in Sweden must be rare Seriously, I have daily contact with our Swedish branche and they are just normal people. How did you exactly check you are not being catfished? How old are you and why do you think it is a good idea to invest so much of your time in a man who lives halfway across the world and does not seem interested in talking on the phone with you, let alone meet you? Actually, believe it or not, take it from someone who has done a lot of reading up on the country and I'm pretty sure that the birth rates are low.. Excluding ethnic immigrants, of course. It could be that the country's population is relatively small compared to other populations, but I'd be willing to bet that the birth rates are still low.. I think it's just the fact that LDRs rarely work, and maybe he's awkward or something.. Who knows. Fact is, you can't ask him to meet up with you somewhere next week, it'd probably cost you a few hundred bucks to fly to some foreign country and pay for a hotel.. Then they have to basically pack up their life and move to some other place for someone with whom they may eventually break up with or be broken up with for whatever reason..What's the point? Keep searching for someone like this Swede where you live, or move where you might be able to meet someone like him.. ****ty, I know.. Edited May 7, 2014 by Do_The_Herp
OnlyHonesty Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 I'm not a Swedish male but do you honestly believe that half of an entire nation consists of shy men who never take the initiative? Births in Sweden must be rare Seriously, I have daily contact with our Swedish branche and they are just normal people. How did you exactly check you are not being catfished? How old are you and why do you think it is a good idea to invest so much of your time in a man who lives halfway across the world and does not seem interested in talking on the phone with you, let alone meet you? All of your observations concerning the OP that you mention scream emotional unavailability. It's no surprise she has 'selected' someone else who fits the same bill.
Author TaxiGaL Posted July 18, 2014 Author Posted July 18, 2014 I did not 'select' him. He contacted me, I was simply being polite and responded back to his messages and we got a conversation started. Either way I know a relationship would not have worked because he is far away, but I still would like to keep him as a pen pal; I was just curious as to his behavior.
Michelle ma Belle Posted July 19, 2014 Posted July 19, 2014 I did not 'select' him. He contacted me, I was simply being polite and responded back to his messages and we got a conversation started. Either way I know a relationship would not have worked because he is far away, but I still would like to keep him as a pen pal; I was just curious as to his behavior. Well sweetie, if you already KNOW it won't work as far as a LDR then why do you care WHY he isn't flirting with you? IF he's real (I still would NOT rule out this possibility until you can actually Skype) why would you want to torture yourself with something more? Bottom line is if you enjoy chatting with him and want to remain pen pals, don't look for trouble and enjoy what you while you have it. Good luck. 1
Rinner Posted July 20, 2014 Posted July 20, 2014 Screw the gender roles! Why do you have to wait for him to make a move. If you want to Skype with him then do it. Actually I really recommend it and that's for a few reasons. 1. The whole catfish thing 2. Talking to someone in person is completely different - you get to see expressions and what not 3. (Adding onto number 2) You'll be able to see for yourself how he acts around you to see if he's interested 4. You will get a glimpse into what a LDR would be like with him so you can decide if that's something you actually want to attempt 5. You can see if he's hot
justwhoiam Posted July 21, 2014 Posted July 21, 2014 I made sure I wasn't get catfished, so I really believe he is from Sweden. How did you make sure he's in Sweden? Did you check his IP address from his emails?
Author TaxiGaL Posted July 28, 2014 Author Posted July 28, 2014 ok, so here's an update. I listened to everyone's advice and decided to ask for him to come on webcam. Even though I had decided in my mind to keep the relationship as pen pals, I still wanted to know if I was corresponding with the same person from the picture. Guess what! He's real. Honestly after reading through the posts I started to think he was a catfish and I was going to end the friendship. We actually had a really nice conversation for about 2 hours. And the worst part about it is.. He is really Hot; I couldn't believe it. He seems like he is interested in me; he wanted to speak again the next day but I couldn't because I have to work and the time difference would make it too late for him. Anyway, I'm going to keep my cool and remain friends with him, who knows maybe the friendship will turn into a relationship. 3
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