1860 Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 Hi, Here is a little back story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/415189-found-now-what What I've done since then is take a real hard look at things and it is not pretty, I think my wife is a narcissist. She is constantly putting me or what I do down, finding fault-real or imagined and hammering me with it, all the while telling me how much she does and how good she does it. She has zero friends, none, my friends do not feel welcome because she says weird stuff to them, she resents me having them and it shows... Been this way for years, no partnership except when she wants it, financially, mentally, or physically... Ive always tried to avoid fights which means not fighting back because there is no winning or agreement, did not want to upset the kids, and she is never wrong, just ask her... So, the kids are gone and I made a mental decision to always come back with my side, no matter what the consequences. This has taken her by surprise and now she interrupts me when I try to make a point, and keeps doing it until I get frustrated and raise my voice... Then I get the "why are you shouting" comments, I raise my voice to be heard and tell her so and then I get the "It's all about you" comments... I never, repeat, never start arguments, not my nature and go out of my way to be careful about it when I bring something up... Last night we had a blow up over something so stupid I wont bore you, same thing, I did something wrong, again,(not really), she took great pride in telling me so, I started to point out that there was really no issue, got two words out and she started blabbing on and on about it, Like a filibuster in congress. I raised my voice to stop her(loud but not yelling)and make my point and now I'm the filthy beast, I don't communicate-(really!!!)-I made her cry-(didn't see that but could have happened)... I know tonight will be more of make me feel bad about it, with a dose of maybe we should split up thrown in - (she used to do that fairly often when the kids were around but now I just say OK to her when she brings it up and by the next day it is forgotten)... Why this long rant, because if splitting up is mentioned I am really going for it, I'm not ready but probably never will be, it's like pulling a tooth when you are a kid, just get it over with... I really hate to get a divorce but I'm not happy, not sure she ever was, any ideas? 60, BTW: The woman from the other thread is still with her husband and not a factor here... We are still friends...
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