CurvyGurl Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 Like 12 yrs? Share a home, and date someone for 12 yrs, with no plan to get married? I would think that it would be too easy to walk away. If we aren't talking marriage by the end of year one, theoretically, then we aren't on the same path. As well, I don't want to perpetually date someone, and a best case scenario for me would be not living with a man till we are married. I think it takes people longer to take that step when they live together because they're practically married already. I have two friends that were dating men long term... shared homes with them... were living as wives, etc. Recently the men in the relationships just left. Packed up and moved out. Walked away. This would be my greatest fear. At least with marriage he is legally obligated to provide support and split possessions gained during the legally binding and contracting period of the union. How do you get over feeling like he can just walk out? Do you just start out thinking it will only be for a little while and then suddenly it's 7 yrs later?
Merin Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 Actually because I'm not all about getting married again.. yeah I would live with my BF and have no issues with that.. While I can understand that if marriage is what's on your agenda and it's been over a year without any plans towards that goal.. then yeah.. might need to step back and re-evaluate.. and I can also understand the fear of living together and IF one person chooses to leave the relationship they aren't really legally bound.. however because I've also been divorced and believe me when I asked my EXH to move out (he uh couldn't keep it in his pants) he turned off the electricity, the cable, the phone.. drained the checking accounts, chased me through the house for a Credit card.. and did all of this not to just me.. we share 2 little people together and at the time my oldest had just turned 5 and my baby had just turned 2... and he had zero regret about doing it.. and nothing obligated him to do the "right thing" So I guess for me, it's a matter now of being smarter.. being able to take care of myself and my wee peeps.. and IF I happen to find happiness living with my BF later on then I'm down for that too.. because IMO marriage isn't really a "benefit" or something I feel I need and/or want again... and again IMO if someone is going to do the wrong things.. they are going to do them regardless of marital status...
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