KANSAN Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 Hey everyone, some of you may have read some of my earlier posts and kind of know my situation, I'm sorry to those that haven't because I still don't know how to short cut to previous posts anyway here is what's new. Went to go pick up the daughter @ 7:30 the time I allways pick her up, since the ex was sending her new man out to see me cause she could hear my music when I pulled up (My way of signaling to my daughter that daddys here anyway it's not that loud) so I turned the music off and honked like usual and lo and behold here comes the new man, he walkes up to my car and I don't roll my window down and say MAN WOULD YOU PLEASE GO GET MY DAUGHTER and he says I guess you don't need to know your a** can just wait. I waited about twenty miniutes and after honking a few more times I left. I called both of the ex's phones no answer then about 5min later she calls Mr. so and so came out to tell you that your daughter was using the bathroom she has the runs and anyway you need to come knock at the door now you're disrespecting me shes your daughter and we have to start communicating we argued back and fourth and I said if this is how I deal with not being around my daughter and a new man in her life and it's not even been a year since i left than thats how I deal with it and she said OK but not indefinately, anyway I don't think that I should have to deal with the new man at all and she sail that if I cannot come knock at the door that i would not be able to see my daughter and if you want to see her come pick her up in 45 min. I go to pick her up and here is this guy holding my daughters hand and saying bye baby I love you and he looks at me with this smirk and says have a nice day. It's time for a lawyer I've been trying to be Mr. nice guy but that time is over. I all ways said every time I give into something that she wants that their will allways be something else. The divorce was un contested and I let her have everything all that I took was my stereo a TV and a bed. I totally gave her my paycheck every week when married and had to leave in less than a week I let her do everything her way because I thought if I made this divorce easy I could have better access to my daughter, dumb me the longer we're divorced the harder it's getting. I'm also confused as to why all of the trouble in the marrige there was no adultery no abuse I admit that I wasn't the most affectionate person but it was our second marriage and I was leary still because I knew that she could end this marriage in a moments notice. Bottom line I just want to see my child hassle free so I guess It's lawyer time for my child's and my sake I want to be a big part in her life. Am I doing the right thing I don't know what else to do.
ion Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 You gave everything to your ex-wife after the end. Unfortunately she knows what really pushes your button. It's clear that you have to let it go and play the game a little bit better than them. Take the high road. Be polite and firm with your ex. Tell her you agreed to pick up your daughter at her home when she wasn't dating anyone. However since that situation has changed, you will need a mutual neutral agreed upon place. Pick a location equi-distance between your houses. Talk to your lawyer and see if this can be agreed upon. There is a thing about being kind and generous too much that people, including people who love will take advantage of you. When you see your ex's new boyfriend, be generous. Thank him for helping to take care of your daughter. Don't show any feelings of being jealous or anything that he is in your ex's life. Most of all, let go and move on. It's important to find someone to spend your life with beginning with yourself. LIve your life and fill it with the things your enjoy. Good luck!
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