robaday Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 Ok to give some context: 31 yo male 3 LTR's Lost a sibling 6 years ago which really tore me apart for a long time Essentially my first gf I fell for head over heels. Problem was a) she was leaving the country, b) wasnt that into me. Of course it ended and I was heartbroken for over a year and a half. Six years since then Ive dated a number of women. In general I have not felt that strongly for them, which bothered me as I knew they were great girls. A month back I broke up with one, as wasnt feeling it (she was more into me than I was into her). Cut to the chase, I just hooked up with someone, just twice and its really affected me. I couldnt perform (similar to my first ex) and similar to her, this girl was on holiday and leaving the country. Also similar - she wasnt that into me. And I was crazy about her. And she rejected me. I realise this is commitment phobia. I mean ridiculous to go crazy over one girl at 31 especially when I havent really felt much for many in the past half decade. I mean that is actually reassuring to me and means I am not emotionally unavailable like I thought I was......but the choice of girl? completely unavailable has made me question myself and whether all being normal circumstances I would have felt anything? It feels unhealthy, like Im actually shaking and I feel deep down its a flashback to my sister passing away all those years ago......goodbye for me is such an impossible word 1
Ebman Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 Firstly... You need to speak to a professional grief counselor regard the passing of your sister. There seems to be unresolved issues about life that you need to clear. Death in a family is very traumatic and very often the family members act "strong" and pretend that they have dealt with it. Grieving time knows no limits. Don't pretend that you're ok when you're not. Be honest with yourself and your family. If you still feel grief you should acknowledge it and seek professional help in person. There is a quick fix for your performance problem. Get a prescription from a doctor for Viagra or a similar product. They work and NO... You are not too young to suffer from ED. I had it at age 26 and it helped me till I sorted the cause of the problem that was all in my head. I hope this helps.
FitChick Posted May 9, 2014 Posted May 9, 2014 Robaday, if I remember, you are in the UK. There are a lot of reputable mediums. Find one and try to contact your sister to bring some peace into your life. Perhaps find a spiritualist meeting where a group gets together with a medium and whoever comes through comes through, no guarantees. I think it's free or perhaps a donation, like a regular church. PM me your location. I have a friend in the UK who might be able to tell you who is good in your area. I had a reading with Angela Donovan many years ago, recommended by a film producer friend, now deceased. Hmm, maybe I should try to contact him now through her. That would be funny! She is probably expensive now, though, with her celebrity clientele.
Recommended Posts