Faith3132 Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 [font=arial][/font][color=indigo][/color] I'm confused. I recently rekindled a friendship with someone I've known since we were young. We met up again at a mutual friends wedding and messed around a bit that night. That was five months ago. Since then we talk all the time, we have fooled around again on several occasions, but he still mandates he doesn't care about me more than a friend. Which is all fine and good except for the way he acts. All of our friends think we're dating even though we tell them we're not. When hanging out with friends, he always finds a way to touch me or brush back my hair. First and foremost, we are really good friends. But then we have all of this romantic stuff. I, of course, have feelings for him that are far from friendly. I know his last relationship ended badly, and I think he's really scared about starting a new one. I think he and I would be great together, but I can't keep playing these games. Either we're officially together or we're not. I think I need to not engage in any "more than friendly" behavior and keep things strictly platonic, at least until we (I mean he) officially figures out what is going on. Any advice? Please?
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 All you can do is let him know how you feel, what you would like from the relationship and be firm with your actions matching your words. If FWB is not ok with you, then the sex and 'boyfriend/girlfriend' type contact will have to stop altogether. Yes, he's hurt from his past relationship, but there's no reason you should have to suffer for it. There's no telling what he'll do with that ball in his court, but part of being firm means you have to understand that by being clear about what you want means that you run the risk of losing what you already have, if what you want from the relationship isn't what he wants. If he makes it clear that he is only interested in sex without any real commitment, then you'll have to decide whether or not that's something you would be willing to compromise on. If no compromise can be made on either side, then its time to part ways.
Author Faith3132 Posted February 7, 2005 Author Posted February 7, 2005 Thanks for your reply. We haven't had sex. He is unlike most men I know in that he wants to wait until he's in love to do it... He's very different period. He's more in tune to his emotions and what he wants than any guy I've ever met. We've had this talk before. I told him I had feelings, and while he said he may have felt something too, he wasn't ready to get back into a relationship. He wants to find a job (just graduated law school) and really deal with his issues (past break up) before starting another relationship because he doesn't want to waste her time. Though I was hurt and confused then, we were able to get past it and move on...though ultimately, right back into the same thing that was happening before I told him how I felt. The bottom line is that we have a great relationship built on a strong foundation of friendship. So I think we'll be okay and be able to remain friends regardless of what happens. Doesn't it just suck when you meet the man that seems perfect for you, but either he doesn't feel the same way or the timing is just not right? We kind of had an argument last night and I think I am just going to stop the physical aspect of our relationship. It only serves to lead to heartbreak for me.
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