Claysmommy Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 I've been friends with this guy since earlier this year. When we had met earlier this year, we both were attracted to each other, and we both liked each other. However, we were both immature about it, with our own forms of baggage, and we both were not honest about the type of people we were. Over time we played games with each other a lot(ignoring each other at times, then flirting, then being friends, etc). Finally right before he got back with an ex girlfriend, it was clear we were friends. Although I had came clean about liking him around this time--he would not do the same and so we sort of stopped talking for a little while. We then reconnected and we're able to just be friends. Since then, without the pressure of dating, or liking each other, we've been able to be ourselves and joke and have fun just like we both do with our current friendships(with other people). For the last two months in fact, that's how it's been. Just a friendship, with both of us being ourselves, and talking like friends. Recently after we both revealed we were dating people--he even let me see her facebook page where I saw some pictures of her and she was very pretty. For me, I just ended the "relationship"(so to speak) with the person I was dating, and he's been dating this girl for a few weeks. Even after telling me about her, he later on came out and told me that he liked me. I was a bit shocked by his confession, considering that when we had dated earlier he would never tell me how he felt. So I basically did not believe him and told him so. Since then he has continously been trying to "prove it" I guess-constantly asking me out on dates, showing interest in my child(I'm a single mom), seeming to care more about me and asks more questions and be honest with me about way more things than he ever was when we had dated. Instead of the flirting and game playing, he's been very direct about wanting to date me and his feelings for me. Whereas before he wouldn't really make an effort(he would cancel last minute, not be understanding when I cancled etc)--now all the sudden he is rearranging plans to hang out with me, being understanding when I cancel, and asking me out repeatedly no matter how many times I reject him. I have not told him anything because at this point I'm confused. For one, he is still dating this girl... She is not his girlfriend, but he does still talk with her, and they've been on three dates. The second reason I'm confused, is that I'm not sure why all of the sudden he likes me and decides to be direct about his feelings etc when he was not before. I'm wondering what changed? Finally the fact that we are so honest with each other now and our ourselves, I found out that the whole nice guy act he pulled in the beginning and some of the things he had told me in the beginning were not the full truth. I'm just a little curious as to why he would be so open about dating this girl in one breath, but in the other tell me he wants me. I have not told him anything and in fact I keep brushing it off, or pushing him toward this girl. On some level I'm sure he knows I'm still attracted, but I know that he does not know if I'm interested(even I don't know at this point), So I'm wondering is this a game to him, and why like me now when he didn't before?
FitChick Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 Why are you asking strangers? You're the one who knows him, not us. Ask him yourself.
Omei Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 You're the backup girl He's making effort now because he's seeing someone and doesn't want you to put him off your radar you're his second choice in case it doesn't work out.
todreaminblue Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 What fit chick said si true you should ask him if you are being open and honest with each other now and he has said he likes you then now is the time to sort it out.....a lot of guys date another female when thy are confused about liking another girl ....females do it too......either because they are scared of what they feel or they developed feelings over time and never said them to the girl they care about so they try and squash them..... ......or they date others to make a female jealous, they talk about other females even to make another female jealous..........i dont understand this anymore than i understand a female who would......there are many reasons why he could have changed his mind about you........only he knows....and you know him even if you dont think you do ...when you are interested in someone you actually take notice of them like friends and family you notice adn yu can feel what they feel.....senses are heightened or they are with me anyway.... ....what do you feel in your heart ....think about it for a while .....remember the little things that give an explanation for the way he s with you and put them together you have your answer......if you dont have an answer.....you have to speak to him and be direct dont mess around dont confuse your brain with guesses from me or others on here..follow your heart ...that heart of yours will know the right question to ask to have the answer you want to hear....good luck....deb
Author Claysmommy Posted May 6, 2014 Author Posted May 6, 2014 You're the backup girl He's making effort now because he's seeing someone and doesn't want you to put him off your radar you're his second choice in case it doesn't work out. We've been friends only, now the last few months and we both have dated other people during this time. If I've always been the back up girl, why did he wait until now to make me the "back up" girl? We've never kissed, had sex, or done anything physical. And he gets girls very easily(hes an attractive guy). I guess I could see how possibly I could be a plan b--but since he knows I don't put out, I don't see what purpose that would serve him. Thanks for the input. I'm treading carefully and I do not trust him just yet.
Author Claysmommy Posted May 6, 2014 Author Posted May 6, 2014 Why are you asking strangers? You're the one who knows him, not us. Ask him yourself. Because me asking him, will just set up an awkward conversation where I believe he might read into me asking it because I'm interested in him--for instance I hung out with him last week. Met his brother and he took me on tour of his place, was going to cook for me, and was acting as if it were a date. I thought it was just us hanging out... I guess I just feel like if I start asking too many questions about his feelings, he will read into it, and see it as me being more interested. In reality I'm just wanting to understand his intentions. Eventually, once curiousity gets the best of me, I will probably ask...
Author Claysmommy Posted May 6, 2014 Author Posted May 6, 2014 What fit chick said si true you should ask him if you are being open and honest with each other now and he has said he likes you then now is the time to sort it out.....a lot of guys date another female when thy are confused about liking another girl ....females do it too......either because they are scared of what they feel or they developed feelings over time and never said them to the girl they care about so they try and squash them..... ......or they date others to make a female jealous, they talk about other females even to make another female jealous..........i dont understand this anymore than i understand a female who would......there are many reasons why he could have changed his mind about you........only he knows....and you know him even if you dont think you do ...when you are interested in someone you actually take notice of them like friends and family you notice adn yu can feel what they feel.....senses are heightened or they are with me anyway.... ....what do you feel in your heart ....think about it for a while .....remember the little things that give an explanation for the way he s with you and put them together you have your answer......if you dont have an answer.....you have to speak to him and be direct dont mess around dont confuse your brain with guesses from me or others on here..follow your heart ...that heart of yours will know the right question to ask to have the answer you want to hear....good luck....deb He does talk about other girls a lot and I do think sometimes he does it to make me jealous due to the context of it. But I still dont see why if he supposedly likes me, why he would date this other chick. But I get whst your saying. My instincts are telling me that he does like me but that he is immature and not ready for anything so that I should tread carefully for now and with time his intentions will reveal themselves.
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