orioles1744 Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 I have known my gf for over a year and have been dating for 3 months and live together. She has a daughter who likes me more than anyone else she has dated. Her parents love me which they never liked a guy this much ever. She told me she never loved a guy as much as she loved me she's 26. I have never loved someone as much as I love her. I am afraid she will find a better looking guy when she goes to the gym or to the store. She had been with a lot of guys in her past but has been 100% honest with me about everything. Why am I feeling this way I start a new job where I'm working 12hr shifts and I'm afraid she is going to look for someone else while I'm at work. I have talked to her about my feelings and she tells me no one had ever treated her or her daughter as good as I do and that I am everything she has ever wanted and would never risk losing me. I need help and advice on my I may feel this way. When we first started talking she played hard to get and talked to this one guy when we first started talking they hung out once but didn't do anything. I make stuff up that's not true and make myself believe it. Thanks any advice would be awesome.
Smilecharmer Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 Insecurity in a man is probably one of the biggest turn offs in the world. Either you trust her or you don't....does she have a lack of morals or is she loose with her attentions and sexual favors? Also, if you don't know her or trust her why did you move in together after three months?
Author orioles1744 Posted May 5, 2014 Author Posted May 5, 2014 I really do trust her I don't know why I feel this way and there is no lack in sexual favors it's amazing for both of us.
jaycee1 Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 What you're feeling happens a lot. You are so invested in her you're insecurities are creeping in causing you fear. There is no way to predict the future it is something everyone has to live with. One way to ruin the relationship is to let your insecurities get the best of you and the relationship. To be successful you need to trust her and see she chooses to be with you and you can make her happy. Show her your confident and trust her fully. She has already reassured you that your what she wants so BELIEVE IT! 2
bluegreen Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 There is a song names if I had thousand hands I could not have stopped you. Its pretty simple to figure out if she wants to do something SHE WILL period !!! Realize this accept it and then try to focus on fact that she loves you you love her and all the good things in your relationship. PS: Sooner or later even saint's nerves might snap remember this once you start being "insecure" in front of her ...
DArtagnan2 Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 You have asked her and she answered you, you need to drop it with her. Even though you still feel like you do, you can not keep going to her with this feeling, especially since she hasn't done anything. For whatever reason, you are feeling a insecure because you like her so much. Maybe it wasn't so much her past as something in yours. Either way, you don't want to go down a path you can't turn around on. Continue to just enjoy the relationship, her and her daughter. Not only do you not want to miss a moment of fun by inundating it with perceptions rather than reality, but you don't want to give her any cause for concern that you may be a bit unstable or insecure within. Thus giving her a reason to question you or the relationship. If you need to talk, then come here, go see a counselor and work it out. It may even be good for you two to see a counselor once you get to a more serious point in the relationship. But for now, its early in the relationship, so just try to enjoy it. Work out whatever it is you need to without going to her unless she gives you a reason. be well
nerdlingZA Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 Make her pregnant, u will never feel insecure again, even if she dumps u.
Phantom888 Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 You two moved way too fast, and insecurities often happens when there is much unknown. You don't really know her, because if you do, your insecurities can be verified or negated. You have doubts about her which is okay, because you didn't allow much time to pass before you moved in. You have much to lose if she picks someone else. And her past history makes you insecure. This is normal for most guys. If you think she is worth keeping, go to a therapist and talk it out. It helps.
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 Sounds like you might have done a lot of things to win her over and now that you feel you can do more you're starting to feel insecure and now you've got nothing else more to do to feel validated. Now you're feeling out of control, you know you've beat the "ex" kind of, you know you're a better man than the previous 1,000 men she's slept with and you know you're the best guy to treat her daughter this way out of all of them...or do you? Your insecurity will eventually push her away because it will create mistrust. You've got to realize that you've got so many chances to push a woman, but once they close they door on you they don't tend to open it back up. Right now you're being insecure and creating problems for yourself that for now aren't a huge problem, she's probably just hearing what you're saying but knows nothing else but to reassure you...the idea might not even be in her head, but if you keep pushing this over time she might feel like maybe she doesn't want to be with you anymore, maybe you're not the right guy therefore fulfilling your own prophecy...whether she eventually cheats or just leaves you, she might not, it depends on the woman a lot of women aren't strong enough even to leave the most dire of situations. If you really want to resolve your issues then do that, resolve your OWN issues. Own your issues and problems as your own and accept that you have them, then seek help our guidance, someone who can help put things in perspective and can guide you on how to let go of those impulses or triggers. You see the thing is a lot of these personal issues are hard-wired in us from past experiences usually childhood and they can be very confusing and even mask themselves, a lot of times you might not even think you had a problem or make the connection or association but the more soul-searching you down and the more awareness you gain then you start to gain a clearer understanding of the big picture...it's like learning a new language, at first it's all jibberish and impossible to understand, then you start to recognize words here and there, and then put together small sentences...it's a process like that, where you just piece by piece gain a better understanding of your issues and yourself and you would see this has nothing to do with her. So anyway, if you've got a problem, take responsibility and try to resolve it...because she might not understand from her perspective what your issues is, and that'll end up stressing her out and making her feel responsible for eliminating your insecurity when in reality there is nothing she could do, it would never be good enough because you'll always create these ideas or scenarios that haunt you in your own head like a child with bad dreams or scared of the boogey man, no matter how many times you check the closet or look under the bad that @ss Clown monster is still going to be there every night. So the sooner your recognize and separate the issues from the relationship and the romance, the better you'll be able to focus on the problem, but you've really got to take the initiative and get help in resolving this for yourself instead of putting the burden on her shoulder...I'm not going to lie to you it's probably going to be an ongoing issue and an uphill battle but you can make great strides and improvements, but don't expect to drink a magical bottle and you're just all better now, if you think it just simply goes away and this is a long standing and deep issue with you then you need to realize it's going to take a LOT of work to get through that.
bubbaganoosh Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 If she never gave you any reason to believe that she was not being faithful, then get the notion out of your head before you start dreaming up things that aren't there and then the trouble will start. If your working 12 hour shifts then it's a whole lot better than collecting unemployment and having a bleak out look. Relax and enjoy what you got.
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