tattoomytoe Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 ugh. so he had a super party yesterday, with all his buddies who smoke the wacky weed. long story short, i smokerd with some of his buddies, he gor pissed, we had gotten over it. then this morning, he needed tylenol, so i said i thought i had some in my purse, he looks, and finds my one hitter, and gets super pissed. he says it is the one thing he hates that i continue to do, so it basically me slapping him in the face when i smoke. background: i met him at a mutual friends house smoking up (me, not him)..... we have been together 2 yrs., this is the only thing we fight about. in the past he has gotten my other pieces ( a dug out and a really nice glass Bong) and smashed them and broke them. today he took my piece as well, and would not give it back to me. he acts soo holier than thou, when he was a smoker in his younger years. i am just sad.
savethedrama4allama Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 I am sorry toes. I know weed is your panacea. Is this the same bf that you've been saying is an a**h*** forever? Maybe the time has come?? llama
Author tattoomytoe Posted February 7, 2005 Author Posted February 7, 2005 yeah, the same one. and he is a butt, but i do love him. i am sure the time to break it off came awhile ago........
tiki Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 Would he take you back if you quit? If he's worth that much to ya, quit.
VirginiaBob Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 Alright!! You are back on the market. Shall we say 8:30PM at my place tonight?
Author tattoomytoe Posted February 7, 2005 Author Posted February 7, 2005 sorry VABob, nothing official yet. and tiki~ that i what he says. but why do i have to change? he has tried to guilt trip me into stop smomking cigs too, that did not work. why can he not accept me as i am/ was? why am i always the bender in the relationship?
tiki Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 I don't understand why he has a hang up all of a sudden. Is he looking for stupid as excuses to dump you or what?
Author tattoomytoe Posted February 7, 2005 Author Posted February 7, 2005 he has always had this one hang up. he just did not really press the issue or start getting really pissed until like 8-9 months into our relationship. and this is the 6th or so time i have gotten "caught" by him. i think it's really crappy if this is HIS deal breaker. he seems to think that since i continue to smoke i do not care how he feels, that i seem to do it to spite him. not true, i do what i want and like to do. we certainly are not married or even engaged..... i do not plan on marring him, and last i heard i was not his bride to be...... i do not know, it is a stupid thing for me to defend......but if it was not this then what would he want me to change?
VirginiaBob Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 I don't think that it is a bad thing on his part for having a "hang up" about catching you doing something illegal. Sorry for the bluntness.
Author tattoomytoe Posted February 7, 2005 Author Posted February 7, 2005 i do not think it is bad either, but the fact that he used to do it, all his friends do...... i have to go puke! darn hangover. that is my gripe, why does he have to have double standards and be hypocritical?
VirginiaBob Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 I don't think he is being hypocritical. It was something that he USED to do. He realized it was illegal and wrong and no longer does it and has changed as a person. The fact is he is not doing it now, but you are.
st8toftheheart Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 You know. I always thought I was open minded about these things. I never smoked it, but I never judged anyone who did. So when I met my girlfriend, I was told that she occassionally took part. I thought it nothing at the time. At first it didn't phase me but overtime I became more and more agurmentative about it even though she had never done it while we were together. One day I came across here pipe and I just lost it. Almost broke up over it. I then tried to figure out why I had this double standard? Oddly enough it had NOTHING to do the smoking itself. It was the fact that if she were to partake with me not around I feared that she would lose here inhibtions and be with someone else or had been with people in the past because of it. So it was my relationship insecurities which was the centre of the problem, not the act itself. So I opened up to her and we discussed it, and we compromised. She would never do it unless I was present and that occasionally I would try it with her, even when we're alone. It may not be the perfect compramise or whole hearted accepetance, but it worked for us and in fact we're better for it. So my question is, is it truly the act he has a problem with?
Author tattoomytoe Posted February 7, 2005 Author Posted February 7, 2005 no, it is just the pot, but all his past experience with it (negative). i have tried to explain my side to no avail. he has had neg. experiences with it. he gets totally paranoid and self destructive, i get very creative and think differently high.
acidrein_08 Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 Your addicted and you need to quit. Not only is it tearing you and your boyfriend apart but it tears you body apart also. Its a habit you need to try to lose.
Merin Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 Awe.. I'm sorry girl You know it wierd because my BF smokes with his friends and he knows I don't.. he doesn't smoke in front of me.. but yeah I do know if he's high.. this isn't an issue for me.. but in some odd way, I think it somewhat is for him.. it makes him feel bad about smoking (especially around me) and he gives his boys that *look* if they mention smoking in my presense.. I hope the 2 of you work it out..
blind_otter Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 I hate snarky people who say "It's illegal, it must be baaaayaaad. Mmmmmmkay?" I don't get this. I have been hanging out with pot-phobic bouncer boy and I argue with him all the time, "WHY are you interested in me if you are so against my lifestyle? I'm not quitting any time soon. Go find a girl who doesn't smoke pot. There are like 12 hos at your work who are drooling over you as we speak." He says, well I don't want them, I want to date you. Minus the weed. Whatever. I have a hard time understanding this. I tried dating an alcoholic when I wasn't drinking, it didn't work. I don't understand why a sober/anti-drug person would even want to hang with a person who smokes weed on the regular. Having done every drug but crack I can honestly say pot is pretty tame.
VirginiaBob Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 'I hate snarky people who say "It's illegal, it must be baaaayaaad. Mmmmmmkay?"' I'm not the type that says that because it's illegal it must be bad. I'm the type that says because it is illegal, you can get busted and lose your job, ability to find another job, do jail time. And I wouldn't want someone I love having to go through all that just for something as trivial as some wacky weed. I wouldn't do it myself because of the risk of failing a drug test and losing my high income job and getting busted down to Walmart.
blind_otter Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 no hijacking. start another topic RE: the legalities of marijuana, if you want to debate that.
tiki Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 TMT, is it an addiction? Would you ever stop if he asked you to, really?
blind_otter Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 Originally posted by tiki TMT, is it an addiction? Would you ever stop if he asked you to, really? I'm definatley addicted, not to speak for TTMT, but you CAN'T quit for someone else. The only way you get clean is because you decide for yourself that you need to. Quitting because someone else wants you to never works.
tiki Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter Quitting because someone else wants you to never works. I quit smoking (cigarettes) for my ex-husband. I'm smoke free for like eight years now.
blind_otter Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 Originally posted by tiki I quit smoking (cigarettes) for my ex-husband. I'm smoke free for like eight years now. Forgive my bluntness, but cigarettes aren't really the same as other drugs that alter your mood or have mild hallucinagenic properties - like a cokehead or an alcoholic faces different issues from quitting than a tabacco user. I quit smoking 2 years ago myself and never had a problem with it....but quitting pot has been a lot more difficult.
tiki Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 TMT, you can do anything you put your mind to. Some things are harder to overcome than others, sure. I quit smoking for my ex-husband, my current husband quit drinking when he met me. It can be done. But do **you** have any interest in quitting? If you have no interest in quitting, there's no reason to waste your time trying. But what I'm concerned with, is this..... Originally posted by tattoomytoe i do not plan on marring him, and last i heard i was not his bride to be...... He's attempting to dictate your life and you have no plans on marrying him? That seems a little over the top for me. If you do quit, or want to quit, do it for yourself. That way when he's no longer around (which is a good possibility), you're not looking for good excuses to relapse.
tiki Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 Originally posted by blind_otter Forgive my bluntness, but cigarettes aren't really the same as other drugs that alter your mood or have mild hallucinagenic properties - like a cokehead or an alcoholic faces different issues from quitting than a tabacco user. I quit smoking 2 years ago myself and never had a problem with it....but quitting pot has been a lot more difficult. An addiction is an addiction is an addiction. Whether it be pornography, skin picking, thumb sucking, or substance abuse. Sure, there are chemical withdrawals, physical withdrawals, but the bottom line is that it's still an addiction. All addictions are hard to overcome. Some failures stem from never wanting to cease the addiction. TMT may have no interest in stopping, and in that case, it could definitely result in failure. She can quit for someone, sure, but there's gotta be something inside of her that (deep down) wants it too.
Naive Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 My bf/H smokes and I really do not give him lip about it as long as he does it in his house. Yes it's illegal but it's not worse than cigarettes and alcohol!!!! If it makes him happy go for it as long as he does not expose himself to getting caught with it. I don't do it for many reasons but I am not going to stop him just because I don't like it. Why does your bf not want you to smoke?
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