VirginiaBob Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 The eternal question. Is it a (1) "magical feeling" that is either there or isn't or is it (2) a choice that you make - free to love who you choose? Do you base your love for someone on thier (1) actions (if they make mistakes, you refuse to love them anymore or not as much), or do you base it on (2) who they really are deep inside. Feel free to add to these questions with more of your own. My answers are (2) in both cases with maybe a little bit of (1) mixed in.
tattoomytoe Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 i think true love is unconditional and unbiased. - wish i could find it
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 The more love you share as a couple, the more you can share about yourself without fear of condemnation or judgment... even those things that you would normally hide from other people. You have the freedom to express the gamut of emotions: from blind rage to the stupidest silliest little things, and have no fear that expressing said emotions will 'cause you to break up'. There is nothing you fear telling your partner - even the honest things about your human nature that run contrary to your relationship and confuse you. You have the same amount of security in your relationship that you have with your own family members. Love lies in the amount you are willing to share yourself, and allow your partner to share themselves: even the parts you may not like or want to hear about. In order to find 'true love' with someone, you have to be willing to throw out your often unrealistic hopes/expectations of a person and accept them for who they are, not who you want them to be in the context of the relationship. It is a willingness to compromise what you want from the relationship with the person you are actually involved with. It comes with an understanding that what you have is love. What you see on TV, the movies and read about in romance novels is not love. Its marketing an idea to rake in a maximum amount of money. The mistake I see a lot of people making is that they fall in love with love. They fall in love with what they think love is and the feeling they get from it. They fall in love with what they want a person to be, or their first impressions of a person and cannot reconcile the flawed very human partner with the imaginary idealized partner in their heads (and hearts).
johnnyapples Posted February 7, 2005 Posted February 7, 2005 I agree with Lucrezia. Love is something that is in the air when there is the absense of nonsense in the relationship. The nonsense could be any type pf prejudice or prenotion of what is to be. Those expectations can kill a relationship very quickly. Those feelings (or butterflies) that people mistaken for "being in love" (those "love at first sight" mumbo jumbo) isn't real. Its just a chemical reaction. It only lasts for a few weeks, at most. When everything is stripped away between two people, such as the fear, hatred, expectations, etc., then all you have left is love. All you have left is communication and a willingless to work together towards a common goal. Their dreams and your dreams are both shared and accepted. Both flaws and strengths are both accepted and cherished. That is love.
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