Jump to content

Girlfriend hardly ever talks

Chilaxer

By Chilaxer
in General Relationship Discussion

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Chilaxer New Member

Chilaxer

Posted
Posted (edited)

Hi everyone,im 40yrs old my girlfriend is 31yrs old,been together for close to 6yrs now,i had a really bad addiction to which i over came,and been clean for over 3yrs,the problem is,ive never once asked anything of my girl in the 6yrs,ofc she has asked a few things of me,in which i have given her,she was over the moon when i gave her the keys to a new house that i got,which at the time surprised her,but now im back living with my parents because i cant afford to live in the new house on my own,so its sitting empty,and the relationship is continued in the same way before i got my own place,i thought it would of made her happy that we have somewhere to go and spend time alone,i still travel to her house in which she shares with her mum,i spend a few days there,then the following week she would come to my flat and spend time there,she wanted me to get a house close to her mum,but also said she wouldnt be able to move in with me,because she doesnt want to leave her mum on her own,ive reached the age of 40,and i thought that maybe she could settle down with me,and take the relationship the another level,but for me,its just remained the same,after she spends a few days with me,she goes home,and then its like i dont exist in her life,i would be lucky to get 3 or 4 messages from her,its always me whos chasing to make any contact or conversation,it feels like the only time she wants me is when theres something to be done,like help around the house,or help around the garden,this girl knows how much i love her,but for a long time now,ive questioned the love she has for me,i have a great relationship with her mum,laugh and joke with her and we both have a good old giggle,drink lots of coffee together,but whenever i try and have a laugh and a giggle with my girl,most of the times it ends up in arguments,then we would both sit and not talk,just watching the tv,im at my wits end with this relationship,ive did everything i can,and still i feel shes disinterested,also whenever i approach her with those issues in the relationship,she would tell me that she just likes doing her own thing,yeah i dont have any problems with that,what i do have problems with is,when,its always me doing the hard work keeping the relationship together,its as if she doesnt care at times,surely its not hard to make a little time each and every day for your other half,am i asking to much.

Edited by Chilaxer
J2911 Established Member

J2911

Posted
Posted
Hi everyone,im 40yrs old my girlfriend is 31yrs old,been together for close to 6yrs now,i had a really bad addiction to which i over came,and been clean for over 3yrs,the problem is,ive never once asked anything of my girl in the 6yrs,ofc she has asked a few things of me,in which i have given her,she was over the moon when i gave her the keys to a new house that i got,which at the time surprised her,but now im back living with my parents because i cant afford to live in the new house on my own,so its sitting empty,and the relationship is continued in the same way before i got my own place,i thought it would of made her happy that we have somewhere to go and spend time alone,i still travel to her house in which she shares with her mum,i spend a few days there,then the following week she would come to my flat and spend time there,she wanted me to get a house close to her mum,but also said she wouldnt be able to move in with me,because she doesnt want to leave her mum on her own,ive reached the age of 40,and i thought that maybe she could settle down with me,and take the relationship the another level,but for me,its just remained the same,after she spends a few days with me,she goes home,and then its like i dont exist in her life,i would be lucky to get 3 or 4 messages from her,its always me whos chasing to make any contact or conversation,it feels like the only time she wants me is when theres something to be done,like help around the house,or help around the garden,this girl knows how much i love her,but for a long time now,ive questioned the love she has for me,i have a great relationship with her mum,laugh and joke with her and we both have a good old giggle,drink lots of coffee together,but whenever i try and have a laugh and a giggle with my girl,most of the times it ends up in arguments,then we would both sit and not talk,just watching the tv,im at my wits end with this relationship,ive did everything i can,and still i feel shes disinterested,also whenever i approach her with those issues in the relationship,she would tell me that she just likes doing her own thing,yeah i dont have any problems with that,what i do have problems with is,when,its always me doing the hard work keeping the relationship together,its as if she doesnt care at times,surely its not hard to make a little time each and every day for your other half,am i asking to much.

 

 

Hi chilaxer,

First let me congratulate you on being clean now for three years !!!!

I'm writing to you bc when things go down hill in ones life , the sadness can make you feel like or even go down the bath again and relapse so it's crucial that you stay strong in every way possible during hard times and sadness of broken hearts .

 

Just as much as an addiction brings you down, a toxic relationship can do just the same to one .

Ive said this before and ill say it again. If two people don't equally give 100 percent in a relationship , it just won't work out .

It's unfair for the other person who gives and gives when the partner puts forth less than half of their part.

You said it yourself that you do all of the work and that when you and your gf get together , it's always ends in an argument.

 

I know you get along well with her mother and that you have been in this relationship for six years now but that's no reason to stay if the relationship is like this .

My advice is to just end it if talking it out doesn't work.

I know you said that financially you are having a hard time so to keep yourself busy after a breakup in your case you should maybe get a part time job in addition to your job now . That away. It will keep your mind busy, you will be able to save more money to get your place back and you wont be apt to relapse .

Dont ever stay in anything that's toxic to you especially a relationship.

 

Good luck friend and stay strong !!!!

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...