Girl Hates Me Now?

May 5, 2014

I'm going to try and just use points so people can be bothered reading the post.

Short Intro:

This is one of my sisters good friends, her and I got along really well and would continuously flirt with one another and talk to each other over social media,etc

* Recent'y I met another a girl at a club and started to see her during the week, I haven't had sex with this girl and only considered it meeting up to see if we got along with each other.

The past weekend I went away with my sister and a few of her friends, including the friend I flirt with.

Note!: The friend I flirt with only usually messes with me and flirts with me when my sister isn't around and so do I so we dont cause issues!!!!

*On the Friday we did our usual thing flirting with each other, joking that her and I had already been to this location together as a secret (that was in front of all the friends, rest is mainly private)

*Ended up having some drinks that night watching some footy, then flirted with her some more and ending up hopping into her bed for about 30 mins just playing around (nothing sexual), just hitting each other and making jokes, also playing on her phone

*Go to bed and the next day its all normal, might talk every one now and then but dont communicate much when my sister is around

Here it starts:

*The saturday night we had a party organised, we all drank and I did my usual flirting with the girl, touching each other every now and then.

*When the party had finished we headed back to our room that we were all sharing, sat down and started to talk to each other

*Me and the good friend ended up getting in an argument, she called me a c*nt and threatened to get people to beat me up. At the most I was only a little annoying during the talk, but no where close to deserving that.

*On the sunday I didn't speak to her, ignoring her the whole day even when she tried to talk to me

*On the monday, she deleted me off facebook and messaged me saying "if you ever thought u had a chance with me, u ruined it over this weekend", "i want nothing to do with you again", she said that "she was trying to solve the problem by talking to me but i just ingored her", but i know she is lying about that because she didn't even know why I was ignoring her.

I tried telling her this isn't the best way to handle this situation and we should solve the problem talking in person

But she went on about how she wants nothing to do with me ever again.

*anyway I'll see her again this week because she usually comes over to see my sister

Should I just move on or try solving the problem when I see her again?

Thanks everyone

May 5, 2014

Don't date your sisters friends.

Don't date your friends sisters.

Don't date your friends exs.

3 rules to live by, my friend.

Nope, nope, nope and more nope. Move on. Don't pursue this girl. If she speaks to you again, just let her know kindly it is probably better this way anyway and you hope you can just go back to how things were before, once she is less angry for whatever it is you did.

May 5, 2014

I'm going to try and just use points so people can be bothered reading the post.

Short Intro:

This is one of my sisters good friends, her and I got along really well and would continuously flirt with one another and talk to each other over social media,etc

* Recent'y I met another a girl at a club and started to see her during the week, I haven't had sex with this girl and only considered it meeting up to see if we got along with each other.

The past weekend I went away with my sister and a few of her friends, including the friend I flirt with.

Note!: The friend I flirt with only usually messes with me and flirts with me when my sister isn't around and so do I so we dont cause issues!!!!

*On the Friday we did our usual thing flirting with each other, joking that her and I had already been to this location together as a secret (that was in front of all the friends, rest is mainly private)

*Ended up having some drinks that night watching some footy, then flirted with her some more and ending up hopping into her bed for about 30 mins just playing around (nothing sexual), just hitting each other and making jokes, also playing on her phone

*Go to bed and the next day its all normal, might talk every one now and then but dont communicate much when my sister is around

Here it starts:

*The saturday night we had a party organised, we all drank and I did my usual flirting with the girl, touching each other every now and then.

*When the party had finished we headed back to our room that we were all sharing, sat down and started to talk to each other

*Me and the good friend ended up getting in an argument, she called me a c*nt and threatened to get people to beat me up. At the most I was only a little annoying during the talk, but no where close to deserving that.

*On the sunday I didn't speak to her, ignoring her the whole day even when she tried to talk to me

*On the monday, she deleted me off facebook and messaged me saying "if you ever thought u had a chance with me, u ruined it over this weekend", "i want nothing to do with you again", she said that "she was trying to solve the problem by talking to me but i just ingored her", but i know she is lying about that because she didn't even know why I was ignoring her.

I tried telling her this isn't the best way to handle this situation and we should solve the problem talking in person

But she went on about how she wants nothing to do with me ever again.

*anyway I'll see her again this week because she usually comes over to see my sister

Should I just move on or try solving the problem when I see her again?

Thanks everyone

She sounds extremely over dramatic from what I can see (then again people don't argue about being slightly annoying, with no topic to go off it's quite tricky)

May 5, 2014

Unless I'm missing something, you left out a big piece of the puzzle:

What was your argument about?

May 5, 2014

Unless I'm missing something, you left out a big piece of the puzzle:

What was your argument about?

Exactly what I think.

I read - we flirt when my sister is not around, we have an argument over ???? And now she hates me wtf

May 5, 2014

Yeah you left the argument out.

...but who cares, you guys arnt serious.

Talk to the girl you met at the club> try to let that work out. Forget about sister-friend girl for now

May 5, 2014

Exactly what I think.

I read - we flirt when my sister is not around, we have an argument over ???? And now she hates me wtf

Honestly I wouldn't even call it an argument, I'll explain what happened.

I started talking to the other friends that were there about the best way to pick up girls at a nightclub, and I said the best way is too go up to a girl and simply introduce yourself and have fun.

Then after that she started getting all moody and said I'm so annoying and I need to go away.

Serisouly, I didn't even cause a problem.

The argument started after she called me a c*nt and threatening me, then I just gave it back saying that I could take all of them and its no challenge.

Then I left and went to bed.

..........

May 5, 2014

Honestly I wouldn't even call it an argument, I'll explain what happened.

I started talking to the other friends that were there about the best way to pick up girls at a nightclub, and I said the best way is too go up to a girl and simply introduce yourself and have fun.

Then after that she started getting all moody and said I'm so annoying and I need to go away.

Serisouly, I didn't even cause a problem.

The argument started after she called me a c*nt and threatening me, then I just gave it back saying that I could take all of them and its no challenge.

Then I left and went to bed.

..........

'I could take all of them and it's no challenge'

Could take all of what? Who is 'them'?

Just sounds like alcohol was involved, with all of the flirting you had been doing over a fair period of time she was reading into it that you were interested but then talking about picking up girls in bars made her realise that there's nothing in you're flirting and you're not actually interested in her.

Se over reacted by calling you a name and arguing but I think that was more down to the alcohol.

Then she defriends you because she doesn't want to continue with any flirting or go back to how you used to be as she feels silly for thinking there was more to it than there ever was.

May 5, 2014

Honestly I wouldn't even call it an argument, I'll explain what happened.

I started talking to the other friends that were there about the best way to pick up girls at a nightclub, and I said the best way is too go up to a girl and simply introduce yourself and have fun.

Then after that she started getting all moody and said I'm so annoying and I need to go away.

Serisouly, I didn't even cause a problem.

The argument started after she called me a c*nt and threatening me, then I just gave it back saying that I could take all of them and its no challenge.

Then I left and went to bed.

..........

Ahhhhhh see that makes sense.

She's pissed that you flirt with her and give her attention yet ask for advice on how to pick up other women.

Men can be daft sometimes and you may not have realised what a grave mistake you were making. That and she's a little sensitive.

I would apologise and say it wasn't your intention to hurt her.

From there you either date her or pick move along and quit flirting with her.

Mixed signals!!

May 5, 2014

Ahhhhhh see that makes sense.

She's pissed that you flirt with her and give her attention yet ask for advice on how to pick up other women.

Men can be daft sometimes and you may not have realised what a grave mistake you were making. That and she's a little sensitive.

I would apologise and say it wasn't your intention to hurt her.

From there you either date her or pick move along and quit flirting with her.

Mixed signals!!

This is a good point - what are your intentions with this girl, OP? If you don't want this to develop into anything, you need to stop flirting with her.

Then again, I do think she over-reacted and she sounds like a bit of drama queen. How old are you both?

May 5, 2014

This is a good point - what are your intentions with this girl, OP? If you don't want this to develop into anything, you need to stop flirting with her.

Then again, I do think she over-reacted and she sounds like a bit of drama queen. How old are you both?

Well I'm definitely interested in her, more than the girl I've been seeing during the week. We both get along really well and I could see us dating in the long run. To answer your question, my intentions would be to eventually date her.

But, I do find it extremely difficult to work around her been friends with my sister, she hardly gives me any attention around my sister and I do understand that she is thinking of my sisters thoughts but it can really be quite frustrating.

I've just turned 20 and she is turning 18 this year.

P.S I've talked to my sister about dating her and my sister said she thinks its weird that I get along so well with her and she wouldn't mind me dating her at all.

May 5, 2014

'I could take all of them and it's no challenge'
Could take all of what? Who is 'them'?

Just sounds like alcohol was involved, with all of the flirting you had been doing over a fair period of time she was reading into it that you were interested but then talking about picking up girls in bars made her realise that there's nothing in you're flirting and you're not actually interested in her.

Se over reacted by calling you a name and arguing but I think that was more down to the alcohol.
Then she defriends you because she doesn't want to continue with any flirting or go back to how you used to be as she feels silly for thinking there was more to it than there ever was.

By them I meant the people she was going to try and get to beat me up, I'm a 6 ft 1, 92kg boxer so i wasn't lying haha, but thats what that meant.

May 5, 2014

Well I'm definitely interested in her, more than the girl I've been seeing during the week. We both get along really well and I could see us dating in the long run. To answer your question, my intentions would be to eventually date her.

But, I do find it extremely difficult to work around her been friends with my sister, she hardly gives me any attention around my sister and I do understand that she is thinking of my sisters thoughts but it can really be quite frustrating.

I've just turned 20 and she is turning 18 this year.

P.S I've talked to my sister about dating her and my sister said she thinks its weird that I get along so well with her and she wouldn't mind me dating her at all.

Then what are you waiting for fool!'

Ditch the weekly bit on the side and ask the girl out!!

May 5, 2014

Then what are you waiting for fool!'

Ditch the weekly bit on the side and ask the girl out!!

Well, easier said than done.

First I have to sort out this problem, I'll see her tomorrow afternoon so I'll tell her I need to talk with her in private.

I'll be the man and apologize to her for what I did and say that I had no intention of hurting her. That I didn't realise this would affect her so much and it won't happen again.

By the way, a few quick questions.

This is exactly what we she said to me yesterday, how should I take it:

"I deleted you for a reason because we clearly don't get along and if you thought you ever had a chance with me well then your wrong after the weekend that sure dose show me what you are like ...

And for your sisters sake lets just be nice when I'm at your house !

So you can take that as a goodbye from me there's no reason for you to continue talking to me I have a guy you have a girl so laterzzzz"

She isn't dating anyone at all, but she is kinda doing the same thing as me and just talking to other people.

May 6, 2014

If you apologize and act weak its all over. She may come back, but she'll never respect you

May 6, 2014

Well, easier said than done.

First I have to sort out this problem, I'll see her tomorrow afternoon so I'll tell her I need to talk with her in private.

I'll be the man and apologize to her for what I did and say that I had no intention of hurting her. That I didn't realise this would affect her so much and it won't happen again.

By the way, a few quick questions.

This is exactly what we she said to me yesterday, how should I take it:

"I deleted you for a reason because we clearly don't get along and if you thought you ever had a chance with me well then your wrong after the weekend that sure dose show me what you are like ...
And for your sisters sake lets just be nice when I'm at your house !
So you can take that as a goodbye from me there's no reason for you to continue talking to me I have a guy you have a girl so laterzzzz"

She isn't dating anyone at all, but she is kinda doing the same thing as me and just talking to other people.

You can kill two birds with one stone. Tell her you apologize at SAME time that you ask her out/tell her you like her. Say something to the effect that you like her but since you two have never expressed it to each other you just acted as if you were merely friends. However, that you DO have stronger feelings for her and would like to see where they go.

You can tell that she is mad about the picking up girls at bar part because that's essentially what she references when she says why she is deleting you from FB. I don't agree with advice that says she will think you are weak if you apologize. Just do it with confidence and you can even say that you at least want to preserve your friendship if you want to save face a bit. Good luck.

May 6, 2014

You said she's 18? Sounds more like 15. Friend she needs to grow up. If you want to be involved with a immature girl who shoots from the lip and says anything she feels like saying just to hurt, the you found your soul mate.

If I were you, I would go look in another direction because she isn't ready for any kind of mature relationship. She acts like she's still in 9th grade.

May 6, 2014

You can kill two birds with one stone. Tell her you apologize at SAME time that you ask her out/tell her you like her. Say something to the effect that you like her but since you two have never expressed it to each other you just acted as if you were merely friends. However, that you DO have stronger feelings for her and would like to see where they go.

You can tell that she is mad about the picking up girls at bar part because that's essentially what she references when she says why she is deleting you from FB. I don't agree with advice that says she will think you are weak if you apologize. Just do it with confidence and you can even say that you at least want to preserve your friendship if you want to save face a bit. Good luck.

I think I'll give this an attempt, I enjoy living life and experimenting with different options to see how they turn out.

I'll let you know how it goes, if she wants nothing to do with me, that's fine, but at least I didn't give up and gave it another shot.

May 6, 2014

You said she's 18? Sounds more like 15. Friend she needs to grow up. If you want to be involved with a immature girl who shoots from the lip and says anything she feels like saying just to hurt, the you found your soul mate.

If I were you, I would go look in another direction because she isn't ready for any kind of mature relationship. She acts like she's still in 9th grade.

I've thought about this countless times. But when I was her age I wasn't any better than she was, constantly running my mouth and not thinking of the consequences.

But having one person that I knew really well tell me that what I was doing wasn't acceptable and gave me a bad look, and if I didn't fix it this person would move on completely changed my behaviour in a period of a few months.

Some people just need some guidance and discipline to realise what they're doing isn't attractive.

She'll work it out.

May 6, 2014

If you apologize and act weak its all over. She may come back, but she'll never respect you

Don't talk such tosh!!

I don't know where you men get this "weak" **** from.

He hurt the girls feelings, no they aren't a couple. Does she want to be? Reacting like that I would say there is a solid 80% chance that she wants to.

You hurt someone, you apologise simple as. You don't? You've lost her.

Poster quit going around giving this shoddy advice, and acting all " I am man you are wench ugga bugga"

May 6, 2014

I think I'll give this an attempt, I enjoy living life and experimenting with different options to see how they turn out.

I'll let you know how it goes, if she wants nothing to do with me, that's fine, but at least I didn't give up and gave it another shot.

Honestly, I think this is the best approach--unless she is totally immature and uncaring--in which case you don't want her anyway. There is much power in being the proactive one in any scenario, ie if you take the first step you can exert a bit of control over at least your part in what happens. Especially with dating traditionally it is set up that the proactive role is the guy's anyway-another plus for you. And my favorite sentence is you first one--about living life and experimenting with options to see how they turn out. I agree.

I would just harp on the "well i thought we were just friends; i liked you but didn't know your feelings and didn't want to risk the friendship which is why i didn't say anything. It was silly/stupid of me to talk about picking up other girls when although we both haven't said anything to each other about it--i like you." And so on and so forth. I have been there and a genuine apology if she has feelings for you (seems like she certainly does) and isn't dating someone else (i trust that you know) should work. Your comments didn't sound so horrible that unless she is totally irrational that they cannot be forgiven. More likely that she was frustrated that you hadn't expressed direct interest in her yet and then added insult to injury by talking about how to pick up girls, which made her feel like it would never happen between you two.

I'm very interested to hear how it goes. Let us know. Good luck!

May 6, 2014

Honestly, I think this is the best approach--unless she is totally immature and uncaring--in which case you don't want her anyway. There is much power in being the proactive one in any scenario, ie if you take the first step you can exert a bit of control over at least your part in what happens. Especially with dating traditionally it is set up that the proactive role is the guy's anyway-another plus for you. And my favorite sentence is you first one--about living life and experimenting with options to see how they turn out. I agree.

I would just harp on the "well i thought we were just friends; i liked you but didn't know your feelings and didn't want to risk the friendship which is why i didn't say anything. It was silly/stupid of me to talk about picking up other girls when although we both haven't said anything to each other about it--i like you." And so on and so forth. I have been there and a genuine apology if she has feelings for you (seems like she certainly does) and isn't dating someone else (i trust that you know) should work. Your comments didn't sound so horrible that unless she is totally irrational that they cannot be forgiven. More likely that she was frustrated that you hadn't expressed direct interest in her yet and then added insult to injury by talking about how to pick up girls, which made her feel like it would never happen between you two.

I'm very interested to hear how it goes. Let us know. Good luck!

Thanks for all your help, I'll most likely see her tomorrow and I'll see how she reacts.

I honestly didn't really think she had much feelings for me (I can be ignorant) until after this reaction. I've never experienced a girl reacting so dramatic to an issue like this especially when we aren't even going out. She reacted like she was already my girlfriend and wanted to break up. That's what it felt like.

I really think that by her acting this way has changed how I see and feel about her in a positive way so I hope that we can sort things out and see where the relationship leads.

I was blind, unable to see the one person that was right in front of me the whole time without even realising it until now when it could be too late.

We'll see.

May 6, 2014

Don't talk such tosh!!

I don't know where you men get this "weak" **** from.

He hurt the girls feelings, no they aren't a couple. Does she want to be? Reacting like that I would say there is a solid 80% chance that she wants to.

You hurt someone, you apologise simple as. You don't? You've lost her.

Poster quit going around giving this shoddy advice, and acting all " I am man you are wench ugga bugga"

I know that apologizing to a girl can be embarrassing for a man because they're admitting to their own faults. But for women an apology, if its sincere, can turn things around in an instant. A lot of women will fall for a man that shows their softer side of himself every now again admitting to his own mistakes.

I definitely don't think apologizing makes you weak unless you're a repeat offender and only use it without been sincere.

May 7, 2014

Ok first phase of what im trying to fix is solved, I apologised to her for treating her badly and hurting her feelings etc

She said that she was sorry for calling me the c word and said we should move on from what happened, after that she gave me a big hug so I guess that part worked out well.

Now, in the moment my nerves piled up and I couldn't talk about going out sometime.

But I never give up and give myself options.

She said she's going for a run with my sister for a bit.

So, because my nerves were out of control I said to her "After you get back from your run I just need to talk to you about something else really quick"

That'll be in about 60 mins or so, enough to calm my nerves.

Wish me luck because im **** scared (nervous) to be 100% honest.

May 7, 2014

How lucky--i just happened to be on here right now. Wondering what had happened! Ok, well awesome that you have something arranged to talk to her when she gets back--that way you just HAVE to do it. Just tell her already!! seriously, if she is open, i would maybe even kiss her. obviously she likes you--i told you! I would just be joke-y a bit about it at the beginning, as you launch into what you are going to say. The benefit is that you are close friends already. You can be honest. Nothing to be scared of either. The reality is that she knows you know she has feelings for you too since she freaked out about picking up girls in bars convo. No one but someone who liked you would get upset about that. So my opinion is that she already thinks you know her feelings for you. Be the bold one and just state the obvious. Good luck!

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