OhNoNotAgain Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 Me and my ex of 8 months have been broken up for about 5 weeks. It's been very hard for me, especially since she started seeing someone right after we broke up. I was doing better, I thought. I went out on a date, and have been moving on. But I still can't get her out of my head. I'm always thinking about her. And the last week I feel like I went into a relapse, and have been really sad. My job is falling apart too (not because of this), so it's all too much. Anyway, she has a facebook page even though she never really used it. But I decided to check it for some reason, and I saw a new pic she posted, and someone made a comment about a change with her hair, and she said it goes along with the positive changes going on in her life. I'm so sad right now. It makes me think that she thinks so negatively of our relationship. Here I am heartbroken over her, while she seems to think everything is better without me, and with this new person. I just wish I could stop thinking about her, but I just know I won't be able to until I meet someone, which is hard for me. I feel like total s*** now. 1
Tressugar Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 Facebook sucks! I'm always advocating to others to stay away from FB. No good can come from FB. #Facebooksucks 5
organizedchaos Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 Me and my ex of 8 months have been broken up for about 5 weeks. It's been very hard for me, especially since she started seeing someone right after we broke up. I was doing better, I thought. I went out on a date, and have been moving on. But I still can't get her out of my head. I'm always thinking about her. And the last week I feel like I went into a relapse, and have been really sad. My job is falling apart too (not because of this), so it's all too much. Anyway, she has a facebook page even though she never really used it. But I decided to check it for some reason, and I saw a new pic she posted, and someone made a comment about a change with her hair, and she said it goes along with the positive changes going on in her life. I'm so sad right now. It makes me think that she thinks so negatively of our relationship. Here I am heartbroken over her, while she seems to think everything is better without me, and with this new person. I just wish I could stop thinking about her, but I just know I won't be able to until I meet someone, which is hard for me. I feel like total s*** now. Best for you to block her before you do it again and she's changed her profile pic to her and the new guy. 1
Author OhNoNotAgain Posted May 5, 2014 Author Posted May 5, 2014 Best for you to block her before you do it again and she's changed her profile pic to her and the new guy. I don't need to block her, I never go on there. I just went on for the specific purpose of looking. I'm an idiot.
brokeNlost Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 It could have been worse trust me. I made the mistake of looking at my ex facebook and saw a new profile pic of her kissing her new bf. I deactivated my facebook 7 months ago and since then I haven't look back. Take my advice block or deactivate for your own sake 4
Author OhNoNotAgain Posted May 5, 2014 Author Posted May 5, 2014 Don't be hard on yourself. I just never expected her to be so happy without me and so quickly. I feel so hurt... I hate the fact that she is immediately happy after our relationship, while I have this difficult road of trying to heal, and then the harder task of actually meeting someone else. 2
Tressugar Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 Pictures don't tell the whole story. Your day will come after you have healed. 2
Author OhNoNotAgain Posted May 5, 2014 Author Posted May 5, 2014 Pictures don't tell the whole story. Your day will come after you have healed. It was more of the comment with the picture that got me, about positive and amazing things happening in her life.
Tressugar Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 Don't forget people lie! Facebook is not a credible source for info. 2
Sam23 Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 Oh Facebook stalking... Been there done that. Seeing the other person happy and possibly with another person suck and it feels like a kick to the stomach. Although it's a big no-no to do, it's also a good tool to tell you to finally move on. Last time I facebook stalked, I saw wedding photos. It hurt and I cried like a little girl. But then I realized that the person moved on and it was way past the time for me to too. If you care about her, stop feeling miserable by looking at the positives and being happy for her. Also a good opportunity for self to move on too.
itsallmental Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 Thank you, that was very constructive. People like you make me wonder why I bother coming here at all. If these are the kind of comments you make on this site, you should find something better to do. Just ignore comments like that man. I'm in a very similar situation to you. I know you regret looking at her page, learn from that. Don't do it again. I know its so tempting, but look where it had landed you now. Use that sadness as a tool to progress. Whether her comment applies to your relationship, is truthful, etc. The fact of the matter is, she's not your girlfriend anymore. Trust me, I'm feeling just as confused and hurt, it comes in waves. But I speak from my heart when I say, it's not worth wasting the time, energy, and emotion on worrying about how she's feeling. She can contact you if she needs to, other than that, stay far away from information about her life. Good luck man, pm me if you want to talk with someone going through a similar situation. 2
Author OhNoNotAgain Posted May 5, 2014 Author Posted May 5, 2014 Well I completely re-opened my wound on this one. I am so nauseous I want to stay home from work. I'm so upset that she is so happy without me. And it reassured me that she's never coming back....
VanessaVanessa Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 Like brokeNlost I also deactivated my facebook after seeing a few pictures that tore me up. For the first weeks after my break up - about 5 weeks actually I also used to check his page every other day to see if he had anything to say. I was expecting something else when I would check his page (like a person who seemed to regret his latest behaviour) but instead I got something else and after each time I did check his page I felt HORRIBLE. I haven't really used facebook for about 5 months now, but I officially deactivated it 2 months ago and it has not been easy, but fortunately I have recently had some more temporary distractions daily. My ex and I broke up almost 7 months ago and yet I know I still won't be able to use facebook again without feeling curiosity to check his page or any other social site. Realising that it has been 7 months makes me feel pathetic, but I also know that is because i had built up so much hope and I had never had to deal with this before. I still feel like I haven't made much progress in actuality but I am aware that avoiding contact (even by internet stalking) has got to be a positive thing.
FortunateSon Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 Don't forget people lie! Facebook is not a credible source for info. Most people use FB as their own PR vehicle, only portraying or marketing a "life" they want others to see. It is my experience that the people on FB that make it a point to show how happy they are, tend to be the most miserable in reality. Also, a lot of people blow hot air up people's a$$'s when commenting, that should be taken with a grain of salt too. I would recommend blocking your ex's page, regardless if you plan to look again or not. 1
Always Pondering Posted May 5, 2014 Posted May 5, 2014 (edited) And it reassured me that she's never coming back.... Maybe view this as the bump you need to come to the realization that she is not coming back and you have lost her. Like the others have said, block your ex's Facebook profile. You can still unblock but at least this way you cannot search her up and have more time to resist the urge next time. I was in your position once friend, and it did me no justice to look at my ex's profile. So I blocked her, and when I felt strong enough after a really long time, I unblocked her. I have not viewed or even typed her name in the search bar ever since because the urge to do that has immensely decreased. EDIT: I have no more mutual friends with her that are close to her so nothing involving her shows up in the news feed. If you do have some, probably not the best idea to ever unblock until you are fully over this. But yes, block her. The next time you feel the urge to check her profile, you won't be able to, and if you feel like unblocking to cheat and check, do your absolute best to remind yourself that nothing good comes out of it. Edited May 5, 2014 by Always Pondering 1
Erlaad Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 Then you're response is that I'll do it again. Like I said, very constructive comment. It actually was a constructive comment, just put in a very blunt way. If I may add a suggestion, focus on the content and not on the way. What I think OC meant is that (please correct me if I'm wrong) in matters of stalking you can't really trust yourself, most of the time. It's just too easy to give in in the name of [insert favourite excuse here], so as long as you don't put some sort of unavoidable wall in front of yourself, you'll do it again. Not because you're stupid or weak, but because such is the human nature, most of the time. JustMyDiplomatic2Cents. - Erl
KaliLove Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 I've said it before and I'll say it again. Facebook is the Sanskrit word for Satan's Website. Best to just deactivate your account. You can always reactivate when you're in a happier place. 1
SadNLonley Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 Sad thing is.... You probably WILL do it again. Once you start feeling better and thinking you wont get upset by what you see, like you've moved on. Then when you do.. BOOM... Something you really didn't want to see and now you are upset all over again. Im talking from experience here. It never is good to look at their social sites. It was much easier years ago when we didnt have this option. When we broke up, we broke up and didnt see the person or talk to them again. Easy. Now its so easy to stalk someone. I hope you feel better. I know how it feels.
snappytomcat Posted May 6, 2014 Posted May 6, 2014 people lie on facebook,and a lot of times put up a happy front on facebook,when in all actuality its not true,i know your hurting and im sorry for that,i really am i know it sucks. i also don't think anyone was picking on you,i just thinks you took it wrong cause your hurting,and that's understandable. the best revenge is living a happy,healthy life,take care of yourself
LostConfused123 Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 I know how rotten you feel and I'm truly sorry!!! When we are heartbroken we are literally going through withdrawals like an addict. You'll probably see that alot around here. People saying you'll "do it again" it's not meant literal. it's more like s warning. Like blocking so you won't break NC.,getting off social media, deleting phone numbers, all these things because otherwise the temptation is just too great. We are only human. We just warn each other to get rid of triggers. When I quit smoking, I wouldn't dream of having a pack laying around. . . because I would smoke them!!! Anybody trying to quit would. Anyway, I'm really sorry for your pain and hope you feel better soon. We're all here for you! ((HUGS!!))
LostConfused123 Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 Oh also forgot to mention. . . . Listen to me!!!! Don't EVER look again!! You may not believe it but you got off lucky! trust me, some things can never be "unseen" I don't even have to say what those things are. I've done it and regretted it! Also been around here long enough to read plenty of horror stories about this very subject. You will feel better. I promise. You're only human. Give yourself a break. We've all done it. Just don't do it again. Come post here instead. We'll get you through it. ((hugs!!)) 1
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