madelinex Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 (edited) Ive been seeing a guy for about 3 months and he has been good to me except when he texted his ex.. We had differences where we would argue about certain topics but we always managed to work through it. I was insecure and didnt trust him after he texted his ex and I was always on his back about him and his female friends. He would reassure me that hes over her and it was a one time thing and he defriended her off fb and everything. We got into a argument tuesday about a girl but we talked it out. We met on thursday and we got into another argument. Friday we met and he said we are too different. Our personalities clash and i need to find a guy who can handle me. I told him ill work on it and asked him to give me another chance but he refused saying no it wont work. I know its not going to work so its better we end it now. I am really heartbroken cause he never gave me a chance. I would have more respect for him if he simply grew a pair and told me this and that bothered him and its not going to work out unless it changes instead of keeping everything in and just ending it .Before he bin me at least be decent enough to give me the chance to change. i wanst looking for a perfect guy nor expected him to be perfect and always understand me. He even said that he texted his ex because I Was always on his butt and it made him reminsce. Is there anything i can do? It came out of the blue.. even on thursday after the argument he was telling me how much he likes me and how he wants things to work out but he doesnt believe it will. Should i give him space? Edited May 4, 2014 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Legatus Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 You're saying it came out of the blue.. for you.. but has he felt like that for a while? If so perhaps he has his reason for not giving you a second chance. I'm not a fan of second chances myself BUT he should have communicated any problems a bit earlier to give you time to change a little.. Those signs that he wants to but doesn't believe. Think about it that way - even if he gives you another chance, would you like to try with somebody you know doesn't commit fully? You need to believe first, but he clearly doesn't.. You can give him space but don't wait around... I wouldn't...
Gaeta Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 We had differences where we would argue about certain topics but we always managed to work through it. I was insecure and didnt trust him after he texted his ex and I was always on his back about him and his female friends. We got into a argument tuesday about a girl but we talked it out We met on thursday and we got into another argument. I don't call that 'out of the blue'. All these fights were a warning you : 1. You were an insecure pest since the beginning or 2. He was not trustworthy that's why the constant fighting The relationship is better being off. The dating period is to see if you are compatible with the person. Fighting over your first 3 months is not normal, it confirms you are not comptible and are better looking for someone else. 3
Author madelinex Posted May 4, 2014 Author Posted May 4, 2014 I don't call that 'out of the blue'. All these fights were a warning you : 1. You were an insecure pest since the beginning or 2. He was not trustworthy that's why the constant fighting The relationship is better being off. The dating period is to see if you are compatible with the person. Fighting over your first 3 months is not normal, it confirms you are not comptible and are better looking for someone else. we were great in the beginning. he went out clubbing with his boys i went out clubbing with my girls and no problem. at the end of the night we would text and say gnite i didnt dance with anyone cause i was too busy thinking about you. until i found out about him texting his ex saying how he misses her. But i agreed that it was a one time thing and i would try to work on trusting him. He said he deserves to go to hell for doing that to me and hes so thankful cause he really wants to work things out. It just angers me that he wouldnt give me a chance to work on myself and decided to throw me away.
Zahara Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 3 months and already fighting issues of insecurity and trust. Agree with Gaeta. Either he's not fully committed or your insecurities drove him out. Whatever the reason, you both aren't compatible. He's ended it. There is no such thing as giving him space. He doesn't think it will work. And he may not be giving you a chance because he doesn't want to. He's using it as an out. 2
Gaeta Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 You said: * He even said that he texted his ex because I Was always on his butt and it made him reminsce* Your problems started way before he text his ex. 1
somedude81 Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 That wasn't out of the blue at all. Fighting so early into the relationship is a huge sign that things are wrong. He even told you that you're personalities clash. You also seemed to be really insecure and giving him a hard time. I'm surprised it even lasted three months. 2
FredJones80 Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 and say gnite i didnt dance with anyone cause i was too busy thinking about you *rolls eyes* How old are you?
organizedchaos Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 we were great in the beginning. he went out clubbing with his boys i went out clubbing with my girls and no problem. at the end of the night we would text and say gnite i didnt dance with anyone cause i was too busy thinking about you. until i found out about him texting his ex saying how he misses her. But i agreed that it was a one time thing and i would try to work on trusting him. He said he deserves to go to hell for doing that to me and hes so thankful cause he really wants to work things out. It just angers me that he wouldnt give me a chance to work on myself and decided to throw me away. 3 months IS still the beginning. That's the honeymoon stage. That much fighting isn't good and you two are not compatible. It's only been 3 months. Chalk it up as experience and what not to do next time.
Treasa Posted May 4, 2014 Posted May 4, 2014 Give him space? Well, yes. You're broken up. You don't have a choice. It sounds like you fought about this a lot, so it's not like he didn't tell you it bothered him. And chances are he didn't want a girlfriend who had to work on her insecurities. Besides, he sounds hung up on his ex, and you don't need that. 1
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